What exactly is a relationship where you don’t get too emotionally invested? I honestly don’t understand it at all.
I thought as long as we had a good time while we were together, that was enough—but is it not that simple?
Maybe it differs from person to person.
Since I’m Type C myself, I can’t help but prioritize the support. If the terms work for me, I’m willing to move things along right away with almost anyone.
I don’t calculate it by the hour, but unless I’m particularly fond of someone or they offer a high allowance, I find myself wanting to keep it to around two hours for dinner and afterward. In reality, it ends up being closer to two and a half to just under three hours, though.
But I’ve always thought that as long as we genuinely enjoyed that time together, I was fulfilling my side of the arrangement.
Maybe it’s a bad sign that I’m even calling it a responsibility?
This is Kosaka from the Chiba branch.
I also believe that what matters is for both people to enjoy the time they spend together. Many male supporters probably view a relationship that isn’t quite a romantic one but feels like dating as a kind of simulated romance.
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This is Ishibashi from the Chiba branch.
Personally, I think it’s about enjoying your time together like a couple while you’re meeting!
> I thought it was enough for us to have a good time while we were together, but is that not really the case?
I think that’s perfectly fine! If you’re both genuinely enjoying yourselves, wouldn’t that already count as a kind of pretend romance?
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Takahashi, the Kanto unit manager, would also like to answer.
Thank you for your question.
I’m not an expert on romance myself, so it’s difficult to put into words, but—
I see romance as two people nurturing their love together, while pseudo-romance is about having your heart fulfilled and being able to enjoy romance more freely.
That’s the general impression I have.
Since this also depends on personal values, this is merely my own perspective...
I apologize if I’m mistaken.
Please forgive this humble response.
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I’m Fullerene, a male member!
If we’re talking about it being “pretend,” try thinking of it like a kissing scene in a TV drama.
Do you think the couples in dramas spend exactly two hours together every time? Try adding some variety while keeping the average to around two hours. If you can skip the meal, I think it’s also a good idea to steer things in that direction.
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I’m Maezawa from the President’s Office, and I’ll answer this as well.
Thank you for your question.
> I thought it was enough for us both to have a good time while we’re together, but is that not really the case?
I think you’re mostly right.
However, to make that short time together enjoyable, you also need to build anticipation through LINE or other messages beforehand, saying things like, “I can’t wait to see you” or “I’m looking forward to it.”
That said, if the man gets the wrong idea, he may start sending you a lot of messages. So while keeping things upbeat, you’ll also need to manage the contact so that it stays to about once a day.
> I find myself wanting to keep the dinner and everything afterward to around two hours. In reality, it ends up being closer to two and a half to just under three hours.
Some men may want to spend three or four hours together, so he may bring that up.
If you want to keep it within two hours, one option is to be completely transactional and steer him away from a pseudo-romantic relationship by having him see you as a tool. But I’m concerned about whether your heart can handle that.
I think it may gradually become painful for you. Still, if you want the same allowance for exactly two hours, you may have to set aside your feelings and meet him that way.
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I’m Flagmaker, a column writer.
I’m not very good at pseudo-romance either, so I can’t really say I understand it.
I can kind of understand “a romance that’s convenient for men,” though.
I think the kind of papa-katsu the questioner is doing is refreshingly straightforward and healthy.
The term “pseudo-romance” used here seems rooted in a male-centered worldview where the men are paying the allowance, so I think it’s really the men who want the pseudo-romance.
That said, if you give men that pseudo-romantic experience, will papa-katsu necessarily go smoothly? In the end, they might develop genuine feelings and make things frightening, so it’s hard to say.
If anything, I think the ability to judge people is more important.
> Mac
True. I hadn’t realized that myself, lol.
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I’m Marika, a female member.
While you’re talking about “responsibilities,” I doubt you feel like you’re in love, at least not from your perspective. But I think it’s fine as long as you can make your partner believe that you’re in love with them.
The length of time you spend together probably doesn’t matter as long as both of you are happy with it. However, if it’s just a matter of doing what you came to do and then saying goodbye, that feels pretty far from “being in love.”
Even if you don’t actually like them, want to be with them, or wish you didn’t have to go home, try to make it come across that way.
That said, if they already like you as you are now, there’s no need to put on an act.
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