I’m a male member, and I’m meeting someone from out of town for the first time. I’m fine covering her accommodation, actual transportation costs, and so on, but I have a question about the allowance. When I meet local women, I pay 5 (including transportation), and I’ve never received any complaints. My questions are: 1) How should I think about the allowance when meeting someone from out of town? (I will not be staying overnight.) 2) If she would like to go sightseeing or something the next day and I accompany her, how should I think about the allowance in that case? (Sightseeing only.) I’d appreciate your advice.

Oihara, Chief of Universe Club’s Sendai branch, here. Whether you’re going on a date with someone local or inviting a woman from out of town, we recommend giving ¥5,000–¥10,000 for transportation and the dinner date (travel expenses separate). For dates that involve traveling a long distance, there’s also the time spent getting there and back, so the woman would likely appreciate it if you added a little extra as a gesture. If you end up sightseeing together the following day, it might be a good idea to give her about the same amount as the dinner date allowance.

Maezawa from the President’s Office will answer as well. Thank you for your question. > ① How should I think about the allowance when the woman lives far away? (I won’t be staying overnight.) I think it’s fine to keep it the same, regardless of the distance. However, as you probably know, the actual transportation costs (round trip) should be given to her as soon as you meet. Otherwise, she may feel uneasy. As for overnight stays, the rule is that you must provide a room where the woman can stay by herself. After that, you’re free to stay together somewhere else, as long as you both agree to it. (However, I don’t recommend doing that on the first day.) Even if she agrees, you shouldn’t have the two of you stay together in the accommodation you arranged for her. She may appear to agree on the surface while not truly consenting internally. > ② If the woman wants to go sightseeing the next day and I accompany her, how should I think about the allowance? (Sightseeing only.) It’s not something I hear about very often, but I think some women would say yes if the man asks, “Would you like to go sightseeing?” However, she may be doing it because she wants to continue seeing him or hopes to make a good impression. So, in a sense, it’s the same as being invited by the man. If the man invited her, I think she would appreciate receiving an additional 5,000–10,000 yen even for sightseeing only, roughly in line with Universe’s dinner-only rule.

I’m Kazu, a male member. In my case, for a first date with someone local, I pay the ¥10,000 transportation fee specified in the membership rules (a thank-you for the date) upfront. For someone coming from out of town, I add the actual transportation costs plus compensation for the time spent traveling (¥10,000 for every two hours). For example, if she’s traveling two hours each way by bullet train, I calculate it as ¥10,000 under the membership rules + ¥30,000 for the actual round-trip Green Car fare + ¥10,000 × 2 for travel time, for a total of ¥60,000. Just as with someone local, I hand her the ¥60,000 as soon as we sit down at the restaurant. Whether she’s local or from out of town, if we discuss an adult relationship over the meal and come to an agreement, I offer a flat ¥50,000. I give it to her as soon as we enter the room. (With women in the C and D categories, I check in beforehand and leave an envelope containing the ¥50,000 in the room.) So, if we hit it off on the first date, a local woman receives ¥10,000 plus ¥50,000, while a woman traveling two hours each way by bullet train receives ¥60,000 plus ¥50,000. I’m not sure about overnight stays, since I’ve never requested a setting that would require one. From the second date onward, I don’t pay the transportation fee specified in the membership rules. For a local woman, I pay ¥50,000. For someone from out of town, when arranging a second or subsequent date, I confirm whether ¥100,000 would be acceptable. In other words, the transportation fee I hand over at the restaurant under the membership rules is treated as payment for having her take a seat at the negotiating table, not as an allowance. I’ve never been in that situation, but if a woman suggested going sightseeing, I imagine I’d ask, “I’ll cover the expenses, but would it be okay with no allowance?” When a woman I’m seeing invites me out for dinner, I sometimes go only for the meal after confirming, “I’ll treat you, but is it okay if there’s no allowance?” In the questioner’s situation, if she were the kind of adult woman I’d want to spend two consecutive days with, I’d probably ask, “Would ¥50,000 with an adult relationship be okay?”

I’m in Seattle. For someone coming from far away, I’d treat lodging and transportation costs as separate payments to start with. For a one-night, two-day arrangement, would you negotiate around ¥40,000–¥100,000 (¥50,000 being standard)? And whether or not they want to do some sightseeing, would the amount stay the same?