I'm the type who will enter into an arrangement with a man—usually that same day—as long as the woman doesn't turn him down, even if it's our first meeting. What exactly are men thinking when they enter into these arrangements?
He told me he wanted genuine feelings. He said he didn't want things to be so transactional. He said he'd signed up because he was looking for a pseudo-romantic relationship.
It's not as though I treated him coldly during dinner, and I thought I was having a good time.
(The allowance was 30,000 yen, though, and I didn't think I could stay out after the last train, so I said I could spend an hour with him if that was okay. I suspect that's what made me seem transactional… But I have my reasons too: the amount included transportation costs, and since it costs over 10,000 yen to take a taxi from there, I'd effectively be getting 20,000 yen or less.
I explained that to him, but he said 30,000 yen, including the taxi fare, was the most he could pay.)
Even if it's only a pseudo-romance, I thought that if he wanted that much of a romantic feeling, the physical side should also begin in a romantic way—not leading with intimacy, but by going on several dates first. Then again, maybe his way of thinking is that the allowance lets him take a shortcut there.
I assumed that men looking for a pseudo-romantic relationship would make offers to A-type or B-type women, but is that not necessarily the case?
Of course, I have no intention of just lying there passively during intimacy.
I left this part out earlier, but there were of course more than four hours left until the last train.
I’m Rin, a female member.
If you want genuine feelings in a relationship club, start by showing your sincerity—through the allowance.
Men like that never look at their own behavior; they only make demands of others. It’s best to leave them behind quickly.
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Maezawa from the president’s office here—I’ll answer this one too.
Thanks for your question.
Wait, he says he wants “feelings,” but at that allowance amount, isn’t that impossible? Isn’t he simply being stingy?
Regardless of whether feelings are involved, he’s the kind of man who should start by revisiting the allowance. I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong.
The allowance you’re asking for isn’t actually excessive at all. All he has to do is cover your taxi fare, and then it would feel like he genuinely cares—so what is this man thinking?
Besides, the club tells men to pay for a woman’s taxi when she stays out past the last train. So he’s not even following that instruction.
(That said, since the allowance supposedly includes the taxi fare, you could technically say he is paying for it—it’s just that the allowance is far too low.)
If he’s really that short on money, unfortunately, he’s come to the wrong place. He may find it difficult to participate in a dating club, or it may simply not suit him.
Even if he had to live on nothing but somen every day, I’d like to see him show the kind of old-school determination to give a woman the allowance she’s asking for. (笑)
If he can’t do that, I recommend he look for a place that suits him better.
I think it’s perfectly fine for him to seek a pseudo-relationship through C as well, and there are probably men who actually do that.
However, men should understand that if they want that kind of relationship, they need to offer an allowance that matches.
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I’m Flaren, a male member!
You seem like a very sensible person.
Though maybe a little awkward—that’s probably part of your charm.
> What are men actually thinking when they enter into these relationships?
...Perhaps they want the woman to match their level of excitement.
From your question, you seem like the type whose feelings gradually build over time.
I think that’s perfectly normal for a woman.
As you probably know, for many men, their feelings tend to peak around the time they have sex for the first time.
(That’s probably why businesses like cabaret clubs exist.)
So if you’re a Type C arrangement and have entered into an adult relationship (intimate) from the beginning, his passion is already close to its peak. Naturally, that’s very different from your level of excitement, but he doesn’t seem to understand that.
It’s a shame—things might be more enjoyable if he waited until they had time to mature. Still, you could probably match his energy just enough to avoid making things difficult, then wait for his enthusiasm to cool down a little.
By the way, if the taxi costs ¥10,000, how about having him book a regular city hotel and leaving for work from there the next morning? That would probably reduce the financial burden on your papa (a male supporter), too.
It may be a hassle to prepare everything, but if it wouldn’t interfere with your work the next day and you’d like to continue seeing this papa, why not ask him?
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
> If someone is looking for that much of a romantic feeling, even if it’s only simulated, shouldn’t the relationship leading to intimacy also develop romantically—that is, through several dates rather than intimacy coming first?
I completely agree.
I’m not really sure what that man meant or how he felt, but perhaps he simply meant, “I don’t want something that’s too dry and purely about money.”
Since he said he didn’t intend to be completely passive, I wonder how the other person reacted.
Also, I’m a little curious about when he said, “I told her I’d signed up because I was looking for a simulated romantic relationship.”
> Maybe he thinks the allowance lets him skip over that whole process.
Haha（笑）
That may be the case.
What happens with that man from here is ultimately up to how you feel（笑）
> I assumed that people looking for a simulated romantic relationship would make offers to women with either an A or B dating type. Is that not necessarily the case?
As for how he views a simulated romantic relationship, I don’t think it necessarily means that, regardless of the dating type, some older guy is looking to become completely immersed in a simulated romance.
Perhaps what this man meant was that he wanted to become someone who could enjoy sharing happy times together. What impression did you get from him?
People often say here, “Compare the woman you’re dating with yourself and put them on a scale—pay enough to make things even!” I think that’s exactly right.
A relationship begins and continues when both sides—those doing the evaluating and those being evaluated—feel that the balance is fair and are satisfied with it.
Men evaluate women, and women evaluate men as well.
“Compare the woman you’re dating with yourself and put them on a scale!” A true maxim（笑）
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
There’s a gag by Kanpei Hazama that goes, “No matter how old you get, you’re still a spoiled baby♪ No matter how old you get, you’re still a spoiled baby♫” And honestly, I think it’s absolutely true.
I’m a bit of a spoiled baby myself, but I don’t have anyone to lean on. The most I can do is occasionally bury my face in my wife’s backside.
I’d like to be more dependent on someone, but there’s really no one out there who’ll indulge me, haha.
Do you think it’s possible to gently spoil and tame a papa until he does exactly what you want—and, conversely, turn him into an easygoing papa?
If I could pull that off, maybe I’d also be able to wrap my male bosses around my finger in the real world and get through life more smoothly.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I think he was simply stingy or didn’t have much financial leeway. What that man called “feelings” probably amounts to “compromise” for other people.
I also think anyone looking for a pseudo-romantic relationship should choose Type A. Even Type B doesn’t seem right for that. I honestly can’t understand the idea of wanting feelings from the very first meeting.
The question was, “What are men actually thinking when they enter into these relationships?”
Personally, I approach dating hoping that the woman will feel positively enough to think, “I’d be willing to sleep with this man as long as the allowance terms are right.” Does that answer the question?
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This morning, my daughter texted me, “Are you home?” “Are you free?” and “I lost my umbrella, so come pick me up at the station!” So I went to get her—and my wife gave me a serious tongue-lashing. This is Papercraft, a male member.
As you said, I really am in a pitiful situation…
A man like that? Exactly—go for an A-type or B-type arrangement!
Ah, no, wait… Unless I win the lottery, I shouldn’t be talking about pseudo-romance. Maybe I don’t even qualify to join the club…
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