I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
Looking at this particular situation alone, I don’t think it qualifies as a “dating-type scam.” However, I can’t rule out the possibility that the male member you met may suspect it was one.
> “I’ve decided not to see this person again. Being with him is painful.”
I do think you should have made that decision a little sooner, once you started feeling that way.
In my case, I decide almost immediately after meeting a woman whether I want to pursue a relationship with her. That hasn’t happened at a dating club so far, though.
I’ve also heard from women I’ve dated that, even after the first meeting, they can generally tell whether they want to continue seeing someone. Of course, everyone is different, so there will be times when it’s simply difficult to decide.
There was even a woman at a dating club who said, “I’m open to an adult relationship,” happily took a bath with me, and then came out wearing her underwear（笑）
I had already given her the allowance by that point, so it was a genuinely unbelievable story—almost something you’d tell as a joke. I’m relieved that you didn’t take things that far and were sincere and considerate.
Since you met him five times, I assume he was someone you liked. Considering that you were able to spend enjoyable time together, the cost of the meals was insignificant, so I don’t think you need to dwell on it beyond thinking, “Well, that was unfortunate.”
I’m Tetsu, a male member.
Did being accused of pulling a “type scam” scare you?
Since women also have the right to decide whether to move on to an adult relationship (intimate), you don’t need to worry about it. If you’re not comfortable with something, it’s perfectly fine to say no. However, from a man’s perspective, the way you handled things this time was pretty unfair.
When a woman says she’s a B type, men expect that the relationship may progress to an adult relationship (intimate) after meeting a few times. So I think you should have told him a little earlier that it would be difficult for you to pursue things further. He probably wishes you had told him sooner, so he could have accepted it and moved on.
That said, men also need to move on quickly if they’ve met a B-type woman twice and don’t feel any potential.
Maezawa from Shacho-shitsu here.
Thank you for your question.
> I’ve been intimate with about half of the people who made me an offer, starting from the second meeting.
If that’s the case, I don’t think this is a relationship-type scam.
That said, it raises the question of why you had dinner with this particular person five times.
If you’re able to decide after the first meeting with about half of them and proceed to an adult relationship at the second meeting, then you must have felt after the first meeting that this person wasn’t going to work out either.
Even so, continuing to have dinner with her every time makes it somewhat understandable that she might accuse you of a type scam.
Since you seem capable of making that judgment on the first day, I think you should decline any further dinners.
There’s no point in continuing to meet for dinner out of sympathy.
The statement, “I realized I shouldn’t meet this person after all,” also suggests that you knew from the first meeting that you weren’t a match, but decided to see her a little longer. In the end, your initial judgment turned out to be correct.
Of course, if you simply thought, “I can’t tell after just one meeting, so I’ll meet her one more time,” that would still be understandable.
But when it reaches five meetings, people are bound to think that some other calculation was involved.
