I’m Tetsu, a male member.
In my experience, women have never brought up the allowance first, and I’ve never asked them to name the allowance they want, either.
I believe things go more smoothly when the man brings up the allowance. That way, you simply decide beforehand how much you’re willing to offer. If she agrees, great; if not, you move on. It’s that simple.
Thank you for your question.
My name is Karen Takashima from Universe Club.
Wouldn’t it be smoother to hear it directly from the woman?
If it’s within her acceptable range, she can say yes.
If not, she can negotiate.
Being able to discuss it on video is merely a goal, though. We never know what kind of man may approach them, and I think women may want to adjust their preferences depending on the man.
I’m Hikōki, a male member.
Are you still new to the club?
At first, it can be nerve-racking both to bring up the allowance and to ask about it. You may also feel a little hesitant about handing over money.
Is the amount I offer going to seem rude?
Is it different from what she’s hoping for?
And if I offer more, could she take it to mean that she doesn’t really want to be with me?
So should I ask her instead?
What if she names a really high amount? And what should I make of a woman who suddenly asks for that much? I might not even be able to answer on the spot…
It’s definitely something you have to think over from both angles.
Until you find a regular partner you really like, though, there are times when it’s easier just to ask.
When I first joined, I used to ask the women directly, but very few of them named especially high amounts. So even if you ask, I don’t think you’ll usually be far off.
Also, when a woman does quote a high amount—aside from those who are experienced—it’s often because she doesn’t have much experience and is thinking along the lines of, “I’d never do this with a cute girl from my workplace, even for 1 million yen, so maybe one-tenth of that.” It doesn’t mean that someone with little experience will necessarily enjoy it twice as much. If you listen carefully, things often naturally settle at half that amount or another reasonable figure.
If she’s new to the club, don’t immediately assume it’s impossible. By asking questions, you may be able to understand where that unreasonable figure came from and arrive at an amount she’s comfortable with as well.
For an arrangement to continue, I believe it’s essential that both sides are satisfied and genuinely comfortable with the terms.
As for making your own offer, I don’t think there’s any harm in waiting until you know roughly what the woman is hoping for.
In a way, you can also have her assess you from the opposite direction.
Once you find a partner you really like, her allowance becomes your benchmark. You’ll then be able to discuss both what you’re prepared to offer and what amount will allow you to continue seeing each other.
Maezawa from Shacho-shitsu here.
Just as men usually have a certain amount in mind, women also generally have an amount they feel they can expect.
So when a man names a specific amount, if it’s equal to or higher than what the woman had in mind, things tend to go smoothly from there.
If the amount he offers is lower than what she expected, she may appear to accept it, but in reality she’s thinking, “Is my value really that low?” She’ll remember the man who undervalued her as that kind of man—or even as a person to avoid.
That said, if no better man comes along, she may still accept his next invitation, even if she considers him a terrible man who puts such a low value on people. Many women will put up with it until around the third meeting.
She may think that, after spending more time together, he might come to appreciate her qualities and increase her allowance.
But a man like that exists in maybe one out of a thousand cases. And if he were that kind of man, he would have offered an amount that properly reflected her value from the very beginning. So realistically, such a man doesn’t exist.
Whether she turns him down at the second meeting or the third, the number of times may vary, but eventually she’ll either send a message declining or stop replying altogether.
The man may say things like, “We were intimate at least once, so the allowance couldn’t have been too low,” or, “She smiled so much whenever we met.” But she was simply putting up with it, and he just didn’t realize how low his allowance was.
With that in mind, if you’re confident that you’re offering a very generous amount, I think it’s better for the man to name a figure first. However, you should assume that confidence is probably misplaced, so it’s safer to offer twice what you initially thought was a high amount.
Of course, that also leaves you worried that you might be offering too much.
That’s why asking the woman how much allowance she hopes for seems like the best approach.
Then, if you add a little extra to her requested amount, she’ll think, “As expected, this man is truly considerate and well-mannered,” so I recommend doing that.
Some women will say, “Anything is fine,” when you ask them. In reality, they’re testing you.
What they’re really saying is, “How much do you think I’m worth? Please make a proper offer.”
If you think she’s wonderful and want to continue seeing her, you’ll need to give her more than usual.
Alternatively, you might probe her expectations like this:
“Surely 10,000 yen would be too little, right?
Even 20,000 would be low.
Some people say 30,000, but they’re probably putting up with it.
Japanese people don’t really use 40,000 much, so I guess 50,000 is probably standard.
Japanese people don’t use 60,000 that often either.
So maybe 70,000 is a lucky number?
80,000 is nice too, since it symbolizes expanding prosperity.”
You need to figure out what range she would be comfortable with.
At times like this, you need insight on the level of mentalist DAIGO.
If you fail to read her correctly, I feel like you’ll end up going all the way to the auspicious 80,000—or even 100,000 with both hands（笑）.
I’m Basil, a male member.
I usually offer the allowance myself once I’ve invited her to continue after dinner and feel that she may be open to it. More than half of the women agree right away.
Some women ask for more, but if it’s within my range, I’m happy to agree immediately. If they ask for more than that, I’ll negotiate a little, but I don’t push too hard—I give up if it seems unlikely to work.
I’m Kazu, a male member.
Things have progressed to a relationship in both cases, so I can’t say which one goes more smoothly. Generally, I don’t think the allowance amount is mentioned in profiles or anything like that, so I’m a little surprised to hear that the support amount is discussed in the videos.
追加 after reading Riichi’s answer:
> “I always get 100,000 yen! (smugly)”
Wouldn’t that put you off? I’d think, “She and I clearly don’t see things the same way, so I’ll pass on pursuing anything. Good thing I found out right away.”
