I’m the person who previously asked, “I’m dating an 18-year-old who has had only one sexual partner and is practically a virgin.”
Aside from Mac, thank you for the many heartwarming, valuable, and extremely helpful answers.
I’d like to ask a few more detailed questions.
We discussed the amount of the allowance, and she understands and agrees to it.
She wants to get her driver’s license and says she needs ¥300,000–¥400,000 by the winter break.
I could give her the entire amount up front, but I’m being somewhat cautious because I’ve had someone run off with the money in a similar situation before.
She is busy with her studies, so she says she could comfortably see me about twice a month.
When we met for the second time, we agreed that we would begin an adult relationship (intimate) from our next meeting onward. We agreed that I would give her ¥50,000 as a larger-than-usual transportation allowance, effectively as a deposit, another ¥50,000 as a signing bonus once we began seeing each other, and an additional ¥50,000 on a pay-per-meeting basis.
This is just a side note, but one of her university classmates was suspected of having COVID, so both the Universe representative and I were contacted and our third date was canceled. (She attached the university-wide email, so there’s no doubt it was genuine.)
At that time, the Universe representative casually asked about how the relationship was progressing. Apparently, she gave essentially the same account, including that I had paid for clothes and beauty expenses, except for the specific amounts.
The representative apparently realized that she had already received a fairly substantial amount of money and, out of concern, asked about the likelihood of an adult relationship (intimate).
It seems that during the interview, the representative had told her that if she chose Type B, she needed to be fully prepared for the relationship to develop into an adult relationship (intimate) after the second meeting, and that if she wasn’t prepared for that, she shouldn’t meet the man again after the second date.
I highly commend this stance and wish all Universe staff would follow it: “We don’t allow so-called undercover Type A!”
When she was notified that the date had been canceled because of COVID, the representative asked about the possibility of an adult relationship (intimate) between her and me, after hearing everything that had happened as described above.
Her answer was that she would be willing to develop an adult relationship (intimate) with me. However, regarding the timing, her honest feeling was that she wanted to have just one more date without intimacy in order to build trust.
There were two weeks between our first and second dates, so we had online dates in the Universe format every three days. (I paid more than the amount offered by Universe, by bank transfer.) During those sessions, the representative casually asked her again about being prepared for an adult relationship (intimate). It left a strong impression on me when she shyly answered that she wanted to continue meeting me after the second date with that intention.
Because she was in the middle of exam season, we agreed that our third date would be sometime after late September, although it has not been finalized yet.
Considering that she is only 18, I imagine she is feeling very conflicted.
I would be grateful for any further advice.
【I’m looking forward to answers from everyone except Mac】
→ To Mac
Your utterly misguided, aggressive, and completely off-base comments are nothing but unpleasant.
I consider you a person with a deeply broken character who can’t even realize how much the other respondents and the people viewing this anonymous Q&A box dislike you.
If you continue making extremely rude, offensive, and vulgar comments while ignoring the disclaimer that says “except Mac,” I will, as a member, urgently move to have you removed as an anonymous Q&A respondent by the administrators, including Representative Kida.
Stop acting tough here and come out to speak to me privately. I’ll take you on one-on-one anytime.
You should be ashamed of yourself as a human being for manipulating the access counts on your own columns and rigging the likes on the anonymous Q&A box—in other words, carrying your self-promotion and staged behavior that far.
Maezawa from the President’s Office will answer as well.
The respondent’s name and any exclusions are solely based on the questioner’s preferences, so there is no rule stating that only the people they specify may answer. As a result, people outside their preferred list may also respond.
Considering that the questioner isn’t paying anything, and that the respondents aren’t receiving money from anyone, I don’t think it’s particularly strange.
Please also be aware that if you criticize someone simply because they weren’t your preferred respondent, the question itself may be hidden.
If you absolutely want answers only from people of your choice, you could hire only the people you like and create a private, dedicated message board. That way, you would be able to receive only the answers you want.
Getting back to the main issue:
I’m relieved to hear that the allowance was discussed properly. However, this part concerns me:
“Regarding the timing, her honest feeling is that she wants to go on just one more date without an adult relationship (intimacy) in order to build trust.”
Women can usually tell the moment they meet someone whether they can be intimate with that person or not. Wanting to have one more ordinary date means that, at the time of the first meeting, she decided he was someone she couldn’t be intimate with.
However, I think it’s reasonable to assume that she wants the money and is unsure what to do.
If things remain as they are, there’s a possibility that she may still decide at the next date that what she can’t do, she simply can’t do. Figuring out what to do is essentially the same as figuring out how to make her like you.
Normally, it’s difficult for someone to suddenly fall for you after meeting just one more time, so for a short-term effect, a gift or increasing the allowance may be the only options.
That said, it’s not good to remain hung up on someone who already feels it won’t work, so looking for another woman may also be a good idea.
> “The representative apparently realized that she had already received a fairly substantial amount of money, became concerned, and asked about the feasibility of developing an adult relationship (intimacy).
> During the interview, the representative apparently told her that if she chose Type B, she needed to be fully prepared for the relationship to develop into an adult relationship (intimacy) from the second meeting onward, and that if she wasn’t prepared for that, she shouldn’t meet him again after the first meeting.”
“I checked with the branch office, and they said there was no such fact. We do not engage in anything resembling organized prostitution, so I believe you may be misremembering.
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A lost 60-something, taking a break after round two.
Haha, I feel like I’m being completely played… lol
Thinking about it that way, I’ve come to feel even more affection for the woman I’ve been seeing since she was 19.
Thank you for making me realize that.
Anyway, she’s asking for a third round… lol
P.S.
Oh, wait—I’ve actually been seeing her since she was 18…汗
Things really are different… lol
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I’m Hikoki, a male member.
From the way it’s written, the woman in question comes across as someone who’s only attracted to money and has nothing going for her besides being 18.
I think you should take a step back and come to your senses.
> Considering that she’s 18, I imagine you’re feeling very conflicted.
She’s bold enough to casually accept money from you… I’m sure all she’s thinking about is how to inflate the amount.
> I’ve also had a similar experience where the other person ran off with the money.
This is the same kind of situation. She’ll keep raising the amount as much as she can. Since she sees you only as money, there’s no end to it.
I think the sensible thing would be to withdraw as soon as possible and get away from the situation.
Also, it’s extremely dangerous that you’re already calling it “being in a relationship” after meeting only twice. At the very least, I’d suggest waiting until you’ve met 10 times—or preferably 20—before thinking of yourselves as being in a relationship.
If you have another woman you’re actually dating, that money—hundreds of thousands of yen—would be much better spent on her.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I’m sorry, but to be frank, this really puts me off. In particular:
> The staff member realized that she had already received a fairly substantial amount of money, became concerned, and apparently asked about the feasibility of an adult relationship.
It’s the fact that you had the staff do something like that, and then wrote about it where other members and staff could see it.
Universe Club isn’t a prostitution referral service, so I don’t think you should make the staff do things like this. And even if they did it for you, shouldn’t you keep something like that to yourself? It could cause trouble for the staff member who went out of their way to help you.
I also question the wisdom of pressuring a minor to that extent. Of course, the questioner’s hair-trigger temper put me off as well.
Incidentally, Mac answers questions on the site, so he’s someone who hasn’t received complaints from his dates—in other words, at the very least, he isn’t disliked by the women he sees.
On top of that, he’s a genuinely good guy whom I’d happily go out with if he invited me. The only people I’d immediately go out for tea with are the Black Class woman I first approached and Mac, so that says a lot.
I thought Megumi’s answer was the harshest.
It’s true that even if you’re frantically treading water beneath the surface, you need to appear relaxed above the surface to do well in a dating club.
If you don’t seem relaxed, even offering more money may just come across as creepy and still get you nowhere.
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I’m Flagmaker, a columnist.
First of all, please calm down. Men who get this angry over something like this are scary. Try reading a manga and relaxing.
As for whether you should pay the necessary amount all at once upfront—that’s a difficult decision…
In times like these, I highly recommend reading *JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure*, Volume 4. That’s where you’ll find the true image of a gentleman.
These are the words of George Joestar, the father of the protagonist, Jonathan Joestar:
“Think of it the other way around. Think, ‘I might as well just give it to them.’”
George Joestar, a true gentleman, sees it this way:
Behave with good manners and dignity. Sometimes, that means selflessly thinking, “I might as well just give it to them,” and fulfilling the other person’s request without expecting anything in return. And someday, it may come back to you. That kind of conduct is also important for a gentleman.
So, in this case, the answer is obviously: pay the entire amount upfront.
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