I’m finding it hard not to develop romantic feelings. I’ve fallen for a young woman I met here, and we’ve been seeing each other for about six months. I’m married, so I know these feelings are inappropriate. Until now, I’d been able to keep things transactional, but… My wife and I barely even talk, and this woman has become my only emotional and physical connection. She’s 25 and wants to get married someday. For her, papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is simply like a part-time job—she wants to earn money while she’s young—so she’s completely detached. She doesn’t have those kinds of feelings for me. Apparently, she also sees other men regularly, and I have a feeling she may have a boyfriend. I give her ¥300,000 a month, and I’ve also given her presents, furniture, bags, necklaces, and so on. I realize that, to her, I’m probably nothing more than a source of money. Her smile is incredibly cute, and I want her heart, but seeing her has become more painful each time. I’m torn between continuing this relationship and breaking things off, even though I love her, because I feel like I may become dependent on her. I’m embarrassed to be asking this at my age, but I’d appreciate any advice. I’m a member in my 50s.

I’m Joe, a male member. Please take this as a message of support for you, the questioner, who—like me—are in your 50s and seem to have a romantic nature. At this point, I think you have no choice but to see it through to the very end. That said, I can’t support charging ahead blindly. This may sound presumptuous, but I feel your understanding of the current situation is a little too optimistic. You’re a moderately successful person, I assume—and perhaps you have too much free time? Free time can be dangerous because it makes you think of all sorts of foolish things. More precisely, Joe’s view is that when people have too much time on their hands, they stop thinking altogether. Whenever a woman has dumped Joe, he has started a new business. It hasn’t always worked out, so I can’t exactly speak from a position of authority, but I do believe it changes the nature of your relationship with the woman you love. And I’m sure it will let you see a new landscape. I also recommend starting some new habits. Recently, Joe has been training every day under the guidance of Mari, a trainer he has known for years, asking her to help manage his weight and ejaculation (hmm?). As his alcohol intake has dropped dramatically, he’s also been getting his weight under control to some extent. Incidentally, I hear that “diet” means “way of life.” It was written at the beginning of a book called *Diet Is a Philosophy of Life*. Oh, and when it comes to passing the time, Joe knows of nothing better than reading. If you don’t already have that habit, go to a fairly large bookstore or library and browse for two hours. It’ll kill some time. To develop the habit of thinking, I also recommend *Think Forever, Think Relentlessly*. It discusses the benefits of thinking things through to the very end. And Joe believes that the habit of “thinking things through” is especially fitting for people in their 50s. I’ve gone on at length, but as someone else in his 50s, I hope your relationship enriches your life. With that, Joe is going to make the most of his free time and go enjoy the charms of an F-cup beauty from Hakata.

This is Murase from the Nagoya branch. Why not leave things as they are? When you’re with him, which feeling is stronger: happiness or pain? If being with him makes you feel good, you could keep things as they are. If the pain outweighs the joy, maybe it’s okay to say goodbye—but ultimately, what matters most is what you want to do! I’m envious—and honestly a little dazzled—that you can become so deeply devoted to someone.

I’m Date◎Yume, a male member. That’s a good question（笑） I’m pretty much the same…! That said, lately I’ve occasionally been called an “old geezer（笑）,” so maybe I’m not quite as crazy as I thought… Besides, my wife and I have “graduated from intimacy for various reasons,” but we actually get along pretty well（笑） If things with someone from a dating club are completely transactional, it can feel a little dull. I’d rather have a relationship where we genuinely engage with each other, so I look for someone who’s willing to meet me halfway. She’s somewhere between my daughter and granddaughter in age, so sometimes I wonder what I’m doing… But she’s just so cute（笑） It might be worth trying to change the way you approach the women you’re seeing a little. P.S. Of course, only within the boundaries of a dating club!

Maezawa from the President’s Office here as well. > I’m torn between continuing the relationship as it is and breaking up with her even though I love her deeply, because I’m afraid I might become dependent on her. I think you’re probably worried that if you continue seeing her, you might end up becoming a stalker. When applying for permits and licenses, it seemed that stalking behavior was what the authorities were most concerned about. Apparently, they want people to be careful because anyone can become a stalker, regardless of their position or reputation. So I think you’re worried that you might end up that way yourself. But the fact that you’ve recognized this at this stage means you still have a good understanding of yourself. If that’s the case, I think it’s fine to continue the relationship until you’re close to your limit. However, you should decide in advance that if you feel this is becoming the first step toward stalking, you’ll end the relationship then and there. And don’t worry—you’ll probably reach a point where your feelings cool off. It’s also possible that the other person may eventually decide that it’s time to move on and end the relationship. If you’re really worried, you could try meeting for dinner only while still giving her the same allowance as before.

I’m Flag Maker, a columnist. In response to a question somewhere, I described myself as the “simultaneous love-and-heartbreak, self-contained type.” Does that sound about right? If you’re the same type, the whole point is experiencing love and heartbreak in parallel, so keep seeing them. Don’t run away（笑） And of course, don’t cause trouble for the other person either ^^; Let’s suffer together...

I’m Kamihikōki, a male member. Since there haven’t been many particularly tough responses, I’ll offer one from the harsher side. I understand being in love, but: > I barely even talk with my wife anymore, and emotionally and physically, she’s become the only one for me. It seems to me that you’re taking your escape a bit too far. If she doesn’t find you attractive as a person, things may increasingly head in the opposite direction from what you want. Your private life, work, friendships, and of course your relationship with your family are all important. At your age, having even a little room to spare and a sense of happiness will likely come across as emotional warmth and become part of your appeal. Also: > I give her 300,000 yen a month, and I’ve given her presents, furniture, bags, necklaces, and so on. Those things may not have any effect at all on winning a woman’s affection. If possible, I think you should rein yourself in, leave that sort of thing to her other papas, and focus on facing her as a person. The more you give, the more your own feelings may intensify, but it seems to me that you’re also weakening the reasons she needs you. > Mac-san, Using money does make you feel happy… Are men creatures born to throw money down the drain? Foolish creatures who get happiness and a rush from it… P.S. If you’re not going to divorce your wife, then if you can’t keep the closest person on your side—the woman who has been with you the longest—in a good mood, it will be difficult to keep your companion happy either. So I think you should treat your wife as a nearby training ground and use the experience to improve yourself.

I’m Kazu, a male member. As long as you’re able to maintain your boundaries, I think it’s fine to continue seeing her as you are. That said, to avoid becoming too invested and to diversify your focus a little, it might be a good idea to find one more dating partner as well.

I’m Rin, a female member. Do you really have to end things with her? You could keep giving and treating her generously so that she’ll smile at you more and more. But since money is clearly the basis of things for you, as you seem to understand well, supporters like you who pay well will probably make her even more charming. And you should wish for her happiness. If being close to her is what you want, even if it’s painful, that may be your only option. Just be careful never to cause her any trouble… She may cut you off immediately if you even get the slightest wrong idea. Also, don’t forget to consider your wife and family, so you don’t end up alone one day—with no money left.