A question for Rin.

Thank you for your question. Kida, the representative, will answer as well. Rin is wonderful. Truly, she’s too wonderful for words. Running a dating club, I feel proud—perhaps presumptuously so—that someone capable of speaking about love like this exists. I’d like to answer from a dating club’s perspective on love. I imagine the person who asked this question wasn’t thinking, “It would be wonderful if I could treat my papa (a male supporter) with genuine affection like Rin does.” Rather, you’re simply wondering whether something like that is even possible. From my position, I have to say that love is off-limits in the dating-club category. Gratitude and trust, like the questioner mentioned, are the right answers. Absolutely right. It’s not that love or romantic feelings are unnecessary—they’re strictly forbidden. I’m not saying love is bad because it might escalate into pressuring a man to divorce or becoming a stalker. Stalkers are fundamentally in love with themselves anyway, so that isn’t really love. The dating-club system is an exchange of money for “something that resembles love,” and I believe genuine love should never be exchanged for money. Once you stop exchanging it for money, you’ve moved into another dimension, beyond anything I can advise on. But at least while you’re receiving an allowance, my hope is that you’ll provide something that resembles love. Rin is special. It isn’t written out, but I interpret her as having attained enlightenment after making it through countless incredibly painful ordeals, which is why she isn’t crushed by love. She probably has a halo shining around her. After all, she’s Rin—燐, like phosphorus.

I’m Paper Airplane, a male member. > My affection was directed only toward my boyfriend, and although the person changed, there was always just one person—the one who received my love. For women, I think it’s usually the case that they love only their boyfriend, and only one person. There are very rare women who are even more sexually aggressive than men, but for the most part, I think they have one person—or at least, only one person they truly love. In an affair, that person would be their affair partner. So why do some women have a boyfriend, lover, or partner besides their husband? I’m married, but I also have a long-term girlfriend and an eternal partner—not a boyfriend or lover, but someone with whom I have an eternally deep emotional connection. One of my long-term girlfriends and I started dating more than 20 years ago. We had a normal romantic relationship, got engaged, and planned to marry. However, since we were both far too messy and disorganized, we decided not to go through with the marriage and broke off the engagement. While she was feeling down, she met her current husband, married him, and later had children. She probably loves her husband—I’ve never asked, so I don’t know—but she has continued seeing me even after getting married. At first, there was no physical relationship, and I wasn’t interested in one either. We simply had meals together, more like consultations. Later, as we talked about her husband, she began talking about their sex life as well, and gradually, a physical relationship developed again. She was the woman I mentioned in a previous Q&A who said, “I’m worth 100 million yen.” We were engaged, after all, and know each other extremely well. I don’t mind seeing her either, so we’ve continued as before. We aren’t in love with each other. Rather, we’re important people to one another. For her, I’m also someone she can rely on and respect, which is a major part of the relationship. She says her husband is very talkative, unlike me, and that their family time is lively and enjoyable. They also live comfortably in a two-generation home with nothing they lack. At the same time, she has to be considerate toward her husband and mother-in-law, so when there are things she can’t say or problems she’s struggling with, she comes to me for advice. Even in a good family, people often have things they can’t tell their family or troubling secrets they need to keep hidden. Even now, she is consulting me about a difficult matter she can’t tell her husband about. She has been able to discuss it with and receive help from her younger brother, but she can’t tell her own father. She worries that if her husband finds out, it could lead to divorce. From her perspective, I’m the person she first decided to marry, someone who knows her inside and out, with whom she never has to worry about being considerate, someone she can be selfish with. We care about each other and want each other to be happy. We can freely point out each other’s faults or give advice without holding back, discuss anything, receive accurate answers, and feel emotionally at ease and comforted. That’s the kind of relationship we have. Another one of my long-term girlfriends is a woman who used to be my wife, so she may share some of those same qualities. She has remained single, though, and occasionally makes her rivalry with my current wife quite obvious. In any case, it seems that we’re deeply bound by our shared history and affection. She sometimes jokingly says, “You’ll marry me in the end.” I’m never sure how much of that is a threat and how much is genuine, which can be frightening, but we’ve continued without drifting apart—including that side of things. Also, when a female partner becomes someone you meet more than 300 times a year and know everything about, the unspoken understanding between you remains unchanged, no matter how much distance later comes between you. And, for me, knowing that I understand every part of her better than any other man who appears in her life is also something that appeals to my pride.

I’m Meg, one of the female members. Ai Love Rin, Would it be okay if I joined your fan club...?

I’m Rin, a female member. Thank you for your question, and I’m sorry my answer isn’t very exciting. When it comes to the people I love, I’m completely devoted. That hasn’t changed, even now that I have a boyfriend. First and foremost, what will probably never change is my love, respect, and gratitude toward my husband. I feel that God brought us together as a gift for everything I had worked so hard to achieve. Together, we managed to turn two things that medicine had deemed impossible into reality, and that’s how we came to have our lively family. I love him more than anything. I can be selfish sometimes, but he embraces me, and I’ve supported him with everything I have. We live apart now, but we support each other every single day. My children, whom I gave birth to at the risk of my life, and all of my parents and siblings who raised me, are more precious to me than my own life. I would do anything to protect them. This isn’t just a pretty sentiment—I truly mean it. Having once prepared myself to lose my life, I believe that the more people you love, the more your love grows, filling you up in return. The person I met through the club lives a little far away, but he comes to see me, and I enjoy every minute with him, no matter how many hours we spend together. I love him very much. If he asks me for something, I make adjustments and accommodate him. My feelings for him are lighter than love. As for my boyfriend in real life, honestly, I never expected things to become this serious. But as he kept coming at me with his feelings at full force every single day, he became someone extremely important to me. We both make time to see each other every day, before work or on our way home. I feel that he gives me more love than anyone ever could, and I respond with all the love I have. Emotionally, I don’t feel that anyone is being replaced or that there’s any order of priority. That said, I only have one body, so in practice, I try to arrange my time based on the needs of the two of them rather than simply doing whatever suits me. Rather than being someone overflowing with affection, I may be more the type who always wants attention and wants to spend her time thinking about someone. I’m not the type to actively pursue people, so one thing my husband and my boyfriend have in common is that they both came straight at me without hesitation, never making me feel even the slightest bit insecure. This may sound strange, but even at work, I spend 24 hours thinking about patients I’m concerned about, and I have a system that allows me to give instructions to my staff around the clock. The reason for that, too, is that I lack confidence in myself. I’ve made it this far in life always wanting to think about someone and take action for them, always wanting to cherish someone. When I was about as young as you are, I was focused solely on my boyfriend, or solely on my husband. But after going through various stages of life, all I want is for my family, myself, and everyone I meet to be smiling and happy. That’s it. On weekdays, I’m wrapped in my boyfriend’s almost overwhelming love. But my children come first, I love my husband, and I also have the side of me that immerses herself in work. I strongly want to be sincere toward the person who understands all of that. If, someday—perhaps more than ten years from now—I’m able to live with my husband again, I think the shape of everything will change greatly. I’ve gone on for a long time, but if I were to answer your question, “What is it like?” I’d say: Every day is overflowing with “thank you,” and I feel incredibly grateful.

Maezawa from the President’s Office here—I’ll answer as well. Monogamy seems like a relatively recent institution, so from a man’s perspective, I don’t think loving multiple people at the same time is necessarily that strange. It feels as though, when creating social systems, society simply prioritized the system over human emotions. I’m not really sure how women see it, but in male-dominated societies, polygamy existed until fairly recently, and I believe it still exists in some countries today. If there had been female-dominated societies, perhaps the reverse might have existed too. Or maybe men and women are simply different, so I can’t say for sure. Still, since men can love multiple women, I feel women should be capable of the same thing. That said, there are probably men who can only love one woman.