I always enjoy reading this site.

I’m Maezawa from the president’s office, and I’ll answer this as well. > Since we haven’t discussed an allowance, I’ve only been meeting him for meals each time. In this case, could he complain that I’m committing a dating-type scam? Whether he complains depends on the man, so I can’t say for sure. However, it is a possibility, so I think you should take precautions. You could consult the branch staff along these lines: “I’m having trouble because he won’t discuss the allowance, even when I bring it up. I worked up the courage to ask what kind of relationship he was looking for, but he just said things like, ‘That would be a problem. I can’t answer.’ Without discussing the allowance, I’m afraid to take things any further. He keeps inviting me out, so I’ve been accompanying him for meals, but I’m worried he might accuse me of a dating-type scam. What should I do?” If you consult the staff in that way, they’ll understand the situation. Then, even if the man complains that it was a dating-type scam, they can determine that you weren’t at fault. That way, there won’t be a record suggesting otherwise, and it won’t put you at a disadvantage when receiving offers. > Does this man want to go to a room without discussing the allowance? That’s probably what he has in mind. He may think that this way, he can be intimate with you without paying an allowance. Even if something is said later, he may want to claim that you both agreed to go to the hotel. If he hasn’t specifically invited you to a hotel yet, you could simply continue enjoying the meals until he does—assuming you’re enjoying them. Then, when he invites you, you can negotiate the allowance for the first time. If his offer is lower than what you want, you’re free to decline and leave.

I’m Tetsu, a male member. So there are men like that? He’s beyond unacceptable. You absolutely shouldn’t go any further than dinner with him. When asked what he wants, saying, “That’s difficult. I can’t answer,” honestly makes me wonder if he’s okay in the head. You should definitely give the club feedback about him.

I’m in Seattle. I don’t think you should meet him again until he puts the allowance amount in writing. If you’re going to his room or home, get the allowance upfront. If he doesn’t pay, run straight home. If he won’t follow these rules, he absolutely reeks of being a person to avoid.

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. This is just my personal guess, but I think he probably dislikes moving into an adult relationship when an allowance is assumed from the start. It’s only a matter of sequence—he wants the woman to decide to pursue an adult relationship before discussing the allowance amount. In other words, he wants her to accept him first, regardless of the allowance. I think he’s a lonely, sad man like that. At the same time, though, he probably has a truly nasty side that takes advantage of women’s vulnerability. Since he doesn’t state the allowance amount himself but says, “You want an allowance, don’t you?” it feels like he’s trying to use that against her. He may even try to push the logic that, since she decided to move into an adult relationship before discussing the allowance, the allowance can be low. From here on, it’s a battle of wills. Let’s drag it out as long as possible until he can’t stand it anymore and names his allowance for the adult relationship—unless you’d rather not, of course.

I’m Kazu, a male member. I don’t know why he’s so adamant about not discussing the allowance, but since you haven’t agreed on the allowance, I think it’s perfectly reasonable to refuse invitations to his room or home. What I find puzzling, though, is why you continue having meals with someone like that. Just in case he complains that this was “type fraud,” it might be a good idea to send feedback to the branch through the post-date questionnaire in advance.