I’m a female member, and I wanted to ask how everyone goes about turning down an ongoing relationship after receiving an offer.

I’m Tetsu, a male member. My motto is, “Don’t turn away those who come, and don’t chase those who leave.” After meeting once and exchanging contact information, I use whether the woman sends a thank-you message first as the first factor in deciding whether to continue seeing her. If she takes a long time to get in touch, I take it to mean I simply wasn’t that important to her, so I don’t pursue things any further—and I don’t blame her for it. As for your question, I think you’re right to stop contacting him. Ideally, you should probably let him know that you’re declining, but since you’ve had an unpleasant experience in the past, I think it’s fine to leave things as they are. It may help to think of the club staff as mediators (sorry to all the staff members!). The reason we can comfortably use the club is that, if trouble arises, there are people who can offer advice from a neutral standpoint. Even if the club contacts you because you haven’t been in touch, all you need to do is explain the situation as long as you haven’t done anything wrong. I think you’ll find it easier to talk to the club staff than to the man himself.

I’m “Paper Airplane,” a male member who’s been left on read—well, unread—by countless Type-B women. I’m pretty sure I’ve been blocked. After an exciting first date, I send a thank-you message on LINE… completely unaware of what’s really going on. Then things seem to heat up on the second and third dates… They send cheerful messages like, “Let’s do ○○ next time!” The butterflies reach their peak… And then, suddenly—or perhaps it was all planned from the start?— The messages stop being read without warning. Down into the abyss… That’s perfectly fine for Type-B women. If the odds of both people liking each other are 8% × 8%, that’s 0.64%. Actually, if it’s 20% for men × 8% for women, it’s 1.6%. Even if we ask the women to be a little more patient, it would still only be a few percent at most… The chances of finding someone compatible enough for the relationship to continue are incredibly low. One of the good things about Type-B arrangements is that both people can confirm those aspects as they go. In fact, I think choosing that kind of approach is ultimately better for both sides. I think the way you declined was absolutely fine. There’s no need to worry about the other person’s feelings or change anything.

I’m Kazu, a male member who generally feels that when a Type B woman agrees to a second date, that’s her way of signaling that she’s interested. So I don’t invite her to a second date myself. After exchanging contact information at the first meeting and parting ways, I’ll say during our thank-you messages, “Feel free to reach out if you ever feel like having tea.” Then, if she contacts me saying she’d like to meet again, and we arrange a second date, I discuss the allowance for an adult relationship (intimate). My approach seems somewhat similar to the questioner’s. If you were approached during the first meeting, turned it down, and the atmosphere became awkward or intimidating, how about quietly praising yourself for deciding not to move forward with an adult relationship with that person? Just hang in there for two hours. If you’re thinking, “Wait—two hours? Isn’t it four?” → https://universe-club.jp/help/questions/view/4285

Maezawa from the president’s office here, answering as well. > When I was asked about meeting again, I gave a vague response along the lines of “if our schedules and the opportunity line up,” thanked him for the day, and haven’t contacted him since. I think it’s fine to leave things that way going forward. However, many men dislike being left with a vague response, so I think it may be better to send a message via LINE or something similar a few days later, such as: “I’m sorry, but I’ve come to feel that continuing our relationship would be difficult.” Then block him afterward. (The reason for blocking is that if he says something to you afterward, it could make things more difficult for you.) > I feel bad about making the staff go to extra trouble as well. You don’t need to worry about that. For example, in your feedback after the date, you could write: “It’s not that we didn’t see eye to eye financially; I felt that our personalities weren’t a good match, so I don’t think we can continue seeing each other.” That way, even if the man contacts the staff, they’ll immediately understand the reason, so it won’t put them in a difficult position. They may ask you for the reason as a formality since the man inquired, but because they’ll already know what happened, they’ll simply be confirming the details and replying to him. I don’t think it would be much of a burden.