I recently joined and went on my first date the other day. I’m a Type B member.

I’m Tetsu, a male member. If you’re meeting after work, you need to be mindful of the timing. Since a date generally lasts around four hours, the basic plan would be meeting at 7 p.m. and wrapping up at 11 p.m. Staying overnight for your first adult relationship (intimate) is far too careless. If you’re going to stay over, you need to be prepared to spend the whole night with him. It’s better to negotiate this beforehand by saying, “I’d like to catch the last train, so could we finish by then?” or “If I miss the last train, would you cover the taxi fare home?” Not every man is like this, but some men in adult relationships (intimate) deliberately drag things out so the woman has no way to get home and then pressure her into staying overnight. The only person who can protect you is you, so please be careful.

I’m Kazu, a male member. I think it depends on the man, but I usually arrange to meet somewhere between around 6 and 8 p.m. on weekdays, depending on when the woman can get there after work. Meeting at 8 is less common; it’s usually 6 or 7. From the second meeting onward, I suggest room service at the hotel. Depending on the meeting time, we might eat first, or sometimes go to bed first. We usually part ways after about three or four hours, so it’s a good idea to allow roughly four hours after the meeting time. (Of course, this varies from man to man.) Depending on where the woman lives, if she has an early last train and we’re meeting late, I add the taxi fare we discussed in advance to the allowance envelope. (For a fare of ¥7,000, I’d put in ¥10,000; for somewhere in the low tens of thousands of yen, ¥20,000.) Apparently, not many men include the taxi fare upfront, so women have told me, “You’re really something.” (笑) Generally, when I give someone taxi money, she brings the receipt to the next meeting. I like women who proactively provide that kind of evidence, although I think preferences vary from papa to papa. Still, when a woman is conscientious, it makes it harder for the man to be vague about things too, which I think is a good thing. From what I’ve heard from other women about their papas, some men even provide taxi vouchers. So when discussing the meeting time, it’s a good idea to tell the man what time your last train is. You might also want to ask whether he’ll cover the taxi fare if you miss it. (Apparently, some women feel unable to bring it up, while some men simply don’t offer.) Overnight stays are a lot of work for women to prepare for, and personally, I’m more comfortable on my own, where I can even pass gas without worrying, so I’ve never suggested one.

I’m a male member, username Paper Airplane. We usually meet around 5–7 p.m., depending on when the girl finishes work. We wrap up according to the time she needs to leave—usually around 10:30 p.m., or sometimes as late as 1 a.m., depending on the day. Since COVID, girls who live with their families tend to leave earlier. As a general guideline, it’s about 2½ hours from meeting at the hotel and getting into bed to ordering a meal, and around 4–7 hours in total until the girl heads home. For a second meeting, the flow of dinner → possibly a bar → the hotel creates a better mood. If time is limited, choosing a sushi or soba restaurant makes it easier to keep the meal short and adjust the schedule, so you can probably finish earlier. If you live nearby, I don’t think staying over is necessary even on the second meeting. At the beginning, it may be better to keep things short and wrap up after about 3–4 hours. Also, since you’re a B-type, if the man seems to have a strong “it’s the second meeting, so it should be fine” attitude, it’s perfectly okay to size him up quickly, skip the hotel, and head home.

Maezawa from Shacho-shitsu here, answering your questions as well. > Or are overnight stays more common on Fridays and Saturdays? I wouldn’t recommend staying overnight with someone you’re still getting to know. You should wait until you’ve become much closer and feel that he seems trustworthy enough. > If we have dinner and then go to a hotel, I feel like it might get pretty late. Some men want to spend a long time together. So even from the second meeting onward, I think it’s best to use about four hours for dinner plus an adult relationship as a guideline. However, since the man usually takes the lead, it can be difficult to judge. You could try asking something like: “I’d like to be finished by 11 p.m. at the latest (10 p.m. would be fine too). Would meeting at 7 p.m. work for you?” That way, he’ll probably suggest a meeting time while considering how many hours he can spend with you.

I’m in Seattle. With the person I’m seeing regularly, we go to a love hotel first at 7 p.m. After that, we have dinner at 8:30 and part ways at 10. This way, I’m not overly full and can take my time eating.