I’m the male member who was judged to be annoying.

I’m Kazu, a male member, arriving late to the discussion. > “I wanted her to have at least a little desire to please me.” I think this is also misguided. Ultimately, it’s not that different from saying that some kind of service in return for compensation should be expected, even if the degree differs. When you got a girlfriend as a teenager or in your twenties, did you think, “I want her to have a desire to please me”? I assume you didn’t. (If you did, that would be pretty serious.) At a sex establishment, I expect to receive services commensurate with what I pay. That’s because they sell sexual services from a menu. But I think a dating club is different. It’s difficult to put into words, but an allowance is simply what lets you skip the usual steps of dating—it’s no more than a condom for the heart. That’s why I treat my dating partners the same way I would treat a girlfriend. I make sure to please them orally, even when I’m not getting any pleasure from it myself. After all, they’re someone who has finally opened up to me physically. (Did you think, “Finally? It’s only been two hours”? Exactly. That’s the magic of dating clubs and allowances. But that magic only works up to the point where she enters the room and takes off her underwear.) Sometimes women tell me things like, “No one has ever spent that long pleasing me before,” or “My previous boyfriend never did that.” Of course they haven’t. I haven’t spent all these years aging for nothing—I’ve built up both my income and my patience. If necessary, I’ll keep going until my tongue reaches its limit. I do things younger men can’t, and make them feel that sex with Kazu is good. Isn’t wanting to give something back to Kazu what having a desire to please someone means? I used oral pleasure as an example, but it doesn’t have to be that. Mac probably offers an exciting kind of time that only Mac can provide. Sadly, I’m an ordinary person, so all I can offer right now is conversation that’s probably reasonably interesting and considerate foreplay. By “considerate,” I mean foreplay where I pay close attention so the woman doesn’t feel any pain. That’s why I absolutely never use my fingers in a way that might hurt her. You need to find something you can do that allows a woman to enjoy herself. Everyone has a different background, so you need to identify your own strengths. When I was younger, I heard someone say, “It’s not Give & Take, but Give & Given,” and I thought it was nonsense. Even if you give, there’s no guarantee you’ll be given anything in return, right? Exactly—there’s no guarantee. But Take stops at Take. It’s like a sex establishment: you pay money and receive only the specific service you paid for. These days, I find that boring. So now I believe in Give & Given. What you receive may be something unexpected. Or it may be boring sex. But you can’t worry about that. You’ve already spent your time, the setup fee and transportation costs, the allowance, and the restaurant and hotel bills. All you’re doing is adding the effort of treating the woman as carefully as you would a girlfriend. It isn’t a problem. You’re simply increasing your investment a little, even though you already invested knowing you might get nothing in return. So thinking you can draw out something erotic from a woman the first time you sleep together is nonsense too. There’s no fixed switch that brings out a woman’s sexuality. Someone who can press it precisely is a special case, like Mac. Even if an ordinary person asks where the switch is, they can’t imitate that. Yes, both you and I are ordinary people. It’s like hearing all about Bolt and expecting to become a fast runner. For an ordinary person to run faster, the only way is to train relentlessly and build yourself up by overcoming setbacks and failures. It’s disappointing that you still don’t understand this and are asking the same thing in your third question. I’m starting to wonder why I bother writing serious answers. The statement, “If I get the chance, I’d like to make an offer to bring a woman from Nagoya to the Kanto area,” could be taken as disrespectful to every female member registered at the Nagoya branch. Women from Nagoya aren’t necessarily easygoing. It occurred to me that you may be making these kinds of careless slipups during the dinner stage without even realizing it. You also made some inappropriate remarks about manners in your series of questions, didn’t you? These kinds of slips can seriously affect how a woman feels about you, so you need to be extremely careful. Women often won’t openly express their discomfort over an inappropriate remark, which makes resolving the problem very difficult. And since I’m taking the trouble to write something this useful, I think it’s fine to include some things I personally want to say. Isn’t that why everyone comes here to read—because there’s nothing else like it? You also can’t read about the stimulating sex and everyday interactions male members experience anywhere else. We’re members and answerers at dating clubs for fun, so of course our own interests are going to come through. The clubs understand that, which is probably why they present it as a “request” rather than a “rule.” So when readers who aren’t involved in running the club complain that something is cliquish or unacceptable simply because it isn’t what they want to read, all I can do is stare blankly. I could say something harsher, but I have no interest in picking a fight and deliberately making enemies, so I’ll leave it at that.

I’m Rin, a female member. He doesn’t confidently lecture me or go on about his expertise, and he doesn’t assume for a second that I’d be thrilled to be held by him. Other than that, since it’s a club, he offers a surprisingly generous allowance.

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. Hmm... To be honest, I still don’t really understand eros, but as one way to bring out sexier behavior—or, more precisely, erotic actions—wouldn’t it be effective to pique someone’s curiosity and interest? For women who aren’t necessarily overtly sexual but have a latent interest in erotic experiences, perhaps it’s about drawing out the feeling of, “It’s not something I could easily do in an ordinary relationship, but I’d like to try it at least once.” That’s just my guess, though.

I’m Date◎Yume, a male member. I’ll add just a little… > Do you think it’s possible to bring out a woman’s sexual side from the very first time, depending on how you approach her? Honestly, I think it’s pretty difficult. As the female respondents also mentioned, I think it’s reasonable to view the first meeting as a time when she’s “feeling things out—or rather, checking us men out before deciding.” We join because we’re looking for an adult relationship (intimate). When it comes to an adult relationship, intimacy is a given and plays a very large part, but I feel it’s not all about intimacy. I’m not sure how to put it, but after meeting several times, there are moments when I can genuinely feel her thoughtfulness and gratitude toward me. When that happens, I think, “This is the best. I’m completely smitten（笑）.” Even if I’m not very good at intimacy, I find myself thinking, “I guess it can’t be helped—that’s where my abilities are right now. She’s a reflection of me, after all（笑）.”

Maezawa from the CEO’s office here, with an answer as well. > Depending on how you approach the other person, is it possible to bring out her sexual side from the very first intimate encounter? I feel like someone already answered this, but if you aren’t being sensual yourself, the other person won’t become sensual either. I also think it’s important to be kind and make her feel safe. You need to be comfortable enough to say something as simple as, “Why don’t we undress here?”—though of course, you also need to be willing to take the initiative and undress yourself. It’s unreasonable to ask something of the other person that you aren’t willing to do yourself. It also seems important to be able to say it innocently, as though it were completely natural and normal, without making her feel that you have ulterior motives or that she should be afraid. When you’re inexperienced, I think most requests will be accepted if you offer about three times the allowance you originally planned, while still remaining humble. Even the slightest attitude of “I’m paying, so I’m entitled to this” will probably make things difficult right away. No matter how much money you offer, I think you fundamentally need to feel genuine affection for the other person.

I’m a male member, Paper Airplane. > Depending on how you approach her, is it possible to bring out her sensual side from the very first intimate encounter? I think the key is the chemistry you have at the first meeting. With women where the chemistry feels perfect from the start, I’ve continued having fun with them afterward, regardless of whether they’re my usual type. Before things progress to intimacy on the first meeting, I think it’s important to build a shared connection—enough trust, comfort, healing, and affection to make her feel at ease. > What I really mean is not that she should provide service in return for the money, but that I’d like her to have even a little desire to please me. If that’s how you think, I don’t believe you’ll be able to enjoy your time with women or with the club. With a club arrangement, the man is the one paying, so he needs to make the effort to please the woman in return. Since you want to enjoy seeing her happy, moved, and enjoying herself, expecting her to provide service starts to feel more like going to an adult entertainment establishment. It’s a very humble post, and I’d really like to support him.

I’m Seattle, a male member. I think the key is to treat her not as a club girl, but as someone special—like your girlfriend. She may see you as just another club guy, but if you can at least become her favorite club guy, she might be more enthusiastic about seeing you.