Universe Tokyo’s Mamiya answers:
If the first dinner date ends there, make sure you receive transportation money as a rule. If you haven’t received it, we’ll contact the gentleman ourselves.
If you go to a hotel, transportation costs are often included in the allowance. It seems difficult and troublesome for men to give the transportation money first and then provide the allowance separately afterward.
It’s not a good idea to leave everything up to him.
Many people consider transportation costs part of the allowance negotiation, so I think it’s best to discuss it with your partner and decide together.
I’m Maezawa from Shacho-shitsu, and I’ll answer this too.
> There have been three times when I didn’t receive transportation money for the first date.
The customary payment called “transportation expenses” for a first date—¥5,000 to ¥10,000—is set by club rules. If you didn’t receive it, that’s a violation of the rules.
First, if you feel you still haven’t received it when the date is ending, tell the man:
“I was told by the club that I would receive ¥5,000 to ¥10,000 from you…”
Something along those lines.
He’ll probably say, “Oh, I forgot—sorry,” and hand it over.
However, if he says something like:
“Transportation money? You live nearby, don’t you? Why should I have to pay ¥5,000 to ¥10,000?”
then he’s violating the rules, so please contact the club. (The next day is fine too.)
The club will confirm the situation with the man and handle it accordingly.
(You will definitely receive at least the minimum ¥5,000.)
P.S. Is this what happens as soon as advance payment for the first date changes from a rule to a request?
I can’t help thinking that some men deliberately don’t pay upfront, assuming that some women won’t report it to the club even if they receive nothing. If the club contacts them, all they have to do is say they forgot and will be more careful next time.
If that’s really what’s happening, it’s unbelievably petty…
I’m Tetsu, a male member.
After reading your question, I have to say I was genuinely surprised.
This is definitely not okay. The club’s rules state that you’re supposed to be given transportation expenses at the first meeting, so I’d recommend contacting the club about it, even now.
Since giving you transportation expenses is an established rule, I think it would be perfectly fine to bring it up early on—for example, once you’ve met and moved somewhere you can talk privately: “I’ve missed out on receiving transportation expenses in the past, so could I receive them upfront?”
Even if this is just for fun, people should still follow the rules properly.
I’m Kazu, a male member.
Wow, that’s quite something. This was an offer from Universe, right? There shouldn’t really be anything to negotiate—the rules should state that you’re given ¥5,000–¥10,000 for transportation on the first date.
You should probably note in your feedback that you didn’t receive it. I can’t imagine three out of seven people simply forgetting, but if you mention it in your feedback, the staff may remind the male members.
If you feel comfortable saying something directly, you could mention it to the man as you’re leaving: “I was told I would receive transportation money.” That might jog his memory.
Added after reading Mac’s answer:
I see! There was also the possibility that you went to his place and received your allowance there. I hadn’t considered that scenario.
