I’m a Type C female member.
When you’re intimate with a gentleman, are you able to kiss him from the first meeting?
Also, what do you do when you’re with someone whose breath concerns you? (I’d appreciate any advice on how to avoid it tactfully.)
Until now, whenever I’ve met someone whose breath concerned me, I’ve casually turned them down by saying, “I’m not very good at kissing…” But some people still try to kiss me anyway, so I was wondering what everyone else does.
Universe Tokyo, Mamiya, here.
There are various causes of bad breath—smoking, cavities, gastrointestinal issues, and so on—and the best solution may depend on the type of odor.
If you’d like to continue seeing this person aside from the bad breath, you might consider telling him gently.
If that feels too difficult, try hinting at it. Once you’re at the hotel, brush your teeth especially thoroughly and say, “Do I have bad breath? I’ve been a little worried about it,” to bring it up indirectly.
Keep the kissing light and kiss him elsewhere instead.
That’s about all I can think of.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office here, and I’ll answer this too.
Hotels usually have toothbrushes, so you could start brushing your teeth while talking about bad breath. The man might take the hint and start brushing his teeth too.
Apparently, people with poor awareness often don’t realize their own bad breath, so I think brushing your teeth together, just in case, is basic etiquette.
You could say something direct like:
“Why don’t we brush our teeth together, just to be safe?”
Also, momo’s suggestion—
“Let’s use Listerine Whitening together to get rid of germs since COVID is scary ♡”
—seems like the strongest approach.
If you refuse a kiss, some men may become annoyed, especially those who value an emotional connection. So rather than turning him down, I think it’s better to focus on reducing the odor.
> “People with strong body odor” is listed as a dealbreaker, but I can’t help thinking, “What about you?!”
Some women apparently like their own scent after going several days without showering, so perhaps the issue isn’t strong body odor itself, but rather someone whose particular body odor isn’t to your taste. (Laughs)
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I have absolutely no emotional attachment to kissing, so cultures where kissing is expected feel very distant to me.
That aside, one thing I’ve discovered since joining Universe is that there are quite a few women with bad breath, just as Joe mentioned. I make sure to brush my teeth before getting into bed, but there’s still sometimes an odor, right? So I figure my partner may be thinking the same about me.
Mac,
> Bending over, sticking out her backside, and saying, “Please let me kiss you with this mouth.”
If there were a woman who gave me that kind of hilarious twist, I’d be completely captivated.
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I’m a female member named Rin.
I completely understand how you feel.
I can feel pleasure from kissing alone, and that can be enough for me, so for me, wanting to kiss = being able or willing to be intimate.
When deciding whether to pursue an arrangement, I check things like bad breath.
Most people are very considerate about it—they brush their teeth or use mouthwash beforehand.
That said, many people tend to interpret things about themselves rather conveniently, so it’s something both parties should be mindful of as a basic courtesy.
As for you, I think it’s perfectly fine to refuse a kiss that makes you uncomfortable.
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It’s Joe.
A passionate kiss is an important factor in how I evaluate someone, so if she refuses to kiss, that’s the end of it for me.
I try to be mindful of my breath, but I can’t say I’m completely confident. The reason is that quite a few women have pretty strong breath themselves. Smells—including bad breath—are so personal that they’re difficult to deal with. Women’s profiles often list “people with strong body odor” under their deal-breakers, but I can’t help thinking, “What about you?” In my experience, women may actually be more likely to be unaware of their own body odor. Especially when things happen from behind, there’s often a smell of poop drifting around (lol).
Anyway, here’s my conclusion:
I’d also want to avoid kissing someone with really bad breath. I completely understand. Even if you tell a man, “I’m not very good at kissing,” many will try to press their lips against yours anyway, thinking, “That can’t be true,” or “I’m good at kissing.” I understand that too.
As for what to do, I think being direct is basically the only option. There may be gentler ways to put it, but if you sugarcoat it too much, they either won’t understand or will simply ignore you.
After delivering that straight pitch, try throwing in a forkball worthy of Sasaki the Great Demon (sorry for the dated reference): “If you’d like us to enjoy kissing too, let’s go brush our teeth together—mwah.” However, according to an acquaintance of mine who’s a dentist (a female dentist, by the way), bad breath caused by periodontal disease can’t really be fixed with brushing alone. So even a forkball worthy of Sasaki can sometimes get hit.
Sorry this wasn’t much of an answer.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
I have mixed feelings about it too (crying).
I guess all I can do is work hard on my breath care and teeth whitening, haha.
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Yesterday, my daughter told me, “For now, just buy a lot,” and I found myself asking, “For now? What does that mean?” This is Kamihikōki, a male member.
I think men who don’t take care of their bad breath should be immediately expelled.
For the man’s own sake—and so the relationship can continue—let’s be straightforward about it. That will be better for both of you in the long run.
Club rules
If a member receives two complaints about bad breath, immediate expulsion would seem reasonable.
Considering both the woman’s feelings and how a man feels when his kisses are avoided, I believe a breath check—or at least advice on managing bad breath—should be required for admission.
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I’m Tetsu, a male member.
Personally, I have mixed feelings about it.
Some women avoid kissing because of bad breath, while others simply don’t like it or only kiss their boyfriends. (Maybe that’s the best way to turn someone down, haha.)
To be honest, I like kissing, so I’m pretty disappointed when I’m turned down. But I want both of us to enjoy intimacy, and if something is off-limits, there’s nothing to do but accept it.
If bad breath is the reason she absolutely can’t kiss him, I think it’s okay to tell him directly. Then she can decide whether to continue with intimacy without kissing or stop altogether. The man might even start doing something about it after being told. More men than you’d think are unaware of their own bad breath.
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