Let me piggyback on the question about allowances.

Universe Tokyo’s Mamiya here. There may be different risks depending on whether someone is single or married, but I get the impression that married men who are active in the dating scene tend to be more careful about managing those risks. Some single men may be free to date around, but that can also leave them exposed to other risks. Please also make married men who have families, work responsibly, and don’t cause trouble for the people they date even happier.

Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here as well. > Is it okay to tell the man I’m seeing this? I don’t think you should. It may seem reasonable at first, but suppose you end up having to pay him ¥2 million, and it gets exposed on the tenth occasion. The math simply doesn’t add up. Even though the numbers don’t work out, you might think, “I was paying extra in case I got caught, so it’s fine.” But despite the woman being the one in trouble after it comes to light, I feel the man may no longer feel genuinely sorry for her. Some men may also find the reason unconvincing, regardless of whether it gets exposed. With that in mind, even if he says, “That’s expensive,” I don’t think you need to explain why. In the first place, there doesn’t seem to be any specific, explainable reason for setting the amount for single men at 30,000–50,000 yen. That also raises the question of how you would explain the difference between someone who pays 30,000 yen and someone who pays 50,000 yen—and whether there’s really a solid reason for it. So even if he says it’s expensive, I think it’s best to keep doing as you have been: don’t explain, and simply tell him what you want.

I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member. > If your relationship is discovered by your family, it may be unavoidable for your own protection. Is it okay to tell the man you’re seeing this? I think it’s fine to tell him. That said, I feel the response to this would vary depending on each person’s family situation. In my case, even if my wife found out, I’d probably just get called an idiot and that would be the end of it（笑）. I’m almost 100% sure of that. I also keep my family life and my activities through the dating club completely separate. Legally speaking, it’s simply an act of infidelity. And if someone asks, “How did it become infidelity in the first place?” it all becomes confusing, and it’s not something you can be criminally charged for. You certainly wouldn’t be sued over it, either...

I’m Meg, a female member. Hmm, I don’t know… Since you yourself said, > “It feels pretty confrontational and kind of rude,” you already realize it, don’t you? Even if you’re thinking those things, saying them out loud seems like it would only have downsides. If I were a man, I’d be turned off. I always want Meg to be told she’s cute, so I keep the calculating side of myself hidden… Wait… Maybe I really have been getting kind of sneaky lately…

I’m Paper Airplane, a male member who has had a “do not accept” request filed against him in the past. I’ve also experienced not only having a rejection request filed, but having an affair exposed and witnessing an intense battle between the women involved. Whenever possible, I’d rather avoid battles between women. From that perspective, I think the questioner’s feelings are perfectly understandable. In that situation, I don’t think the questioner should tell the man. From a married man’s point of view, he isn’t technically cheating on his wife with a club companion. If anything, paying someone can give him peace of mind that he’s avoiding an affair and proving that it isn’t something serious. How many wives are really going to get angry over a woman who was paid to spend time with their husband…? For a wife who’s been married to him for many years, it might be more like, “Spend your money and go wherever you want to take care of that business. It saves me the trouble…” Of course, from the man’s perspective, he might wish his wife would at least say, “Just don’t have a real affair.” But in reality, perhaps it’s more like, “I don’t care if you cheat—just go do whatever you want outside the house.” In the past, one of my long-term girlfriends said she wanted to see our new home, so I had her come over for a housewarming party pretending to be a relative of a male friend. She met my wife. I was sweating bullets, but my girlfriend said, “Your wife has big breasts” (she was completely flat-chested herself), and my wife deleted the woman’s contact from my phone, saying, “Don’t contact her again.” It was extremely nerve-racking, and even now I’m very careful to keep my relationship with that long-term girlfriend from my wife. I really want to avoid having it discovered. If she found out, it would count as an affair, and I’d have to worry about her divorcing me or confronting the other woman. If the woman were merely a club companion, though, my wife would probably just be exasperated: “You spent that much money…?” She might not consider it cheating, but she’d probably say, “How much useless money have you wasted?” I feel that an affair partner and a club companion are different things. However, if the feelings became serious on both sides, then it would become an affair.

I’m Kazu, a male member. I think it sounds fine. Personally, I find it reasonable. That said, the male respondents here seem to be the type who are satisfied with a logical explanation, but there are certainly people out there who don’t like that kind of reasoning. So if you take the positive reactions here at face value, you may occasionally find yourself thinking, “Huh?” Just keep that in mind.

I’m Tetsu, a male member. Since this is a freely agreed-upon relationship, I don’t see a problem with it. If the man doesn’t accept your proposal, you can simply decline to continue seeing him. If he feels uncomfortable with your proposal, he can choose to end the relationship.

I’m a male member, Seattle. As you said, I don’t think there’s any problem with it at all.