I’m a Type B female member. What should I keep in mind to make my partner happy during sex?
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I’m not very experienced with adult relationships (intimate), and I’m worried about whether I’m satisfying him. I really like him, so I don’t dislike having an adult relationship (intimate) with him. However, I don’t really understand sensations like feeling good or reaching orgasm, and my embarrassment tends to overwhelm me, so I worry that we’re actually spending satisfying time together for him.
I want our intimate time to be something that gives him confidence and leaves him feeling refreshed and energized. I also feel that he probably really wants me to enjoy myself as well.
That’s why I’d like to enjoy myself more and open up emotionally, too.
So, what kinds of things should I say, do, or keep in mind before, during, and after intimacy? I’d appreciate any advice or tips based on what you make a point of doing.
Thank you in advance.
This is Mamiya from Universe Tokyo answering.
Please stay humble and never assume you’ve got it all figured out.
If you genuinely care about them, I think your curiosity will naturally lead you to explore.
It might be worth trying things while watching their reactions.
Everyone experiences things a little differently, so be careful not to focus too much on technique alone.
Even if they tell you they felt good, don’t get complacent—keep exploring.
Before long, they may feel that they never want to let you go.
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I’m Fuu, a column writer.
That’s a wonderful way to think about it. I’m jealous of your papa (a male supporter).
Meeting someone like you is something I’m striving for.
If you told your papa a little about what you wrote here, wouldn’t he be completely smitten?
“I love you so much, but I’m worried I’m satisfying you enough in bed…”
Wow, I’d love to hear that.
He’d probably tell you, “You’re fine just the way you are,” or, “If you’re enjoying it, I’d be happy if you made a little more noise.”
And then the adult relationship (intimate) afterward would really heat up, wouldn’t it? I’m sure the two of you would grow even closer.
I’m so jealous!
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I’m BB7, a male member.
If what you wrote genuinely reflects how you feel, simply putting those feelings into words and telling him would be enough to make any man happy.
I think your outlook is wonderful. Even a bottom-tier member like me would feel like giving you a generous allowance（笑）
I’m so over the money monsters and the “gimme, gimme” types.
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I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s office, and I’ll answer this too.
> I don’t really understand sensations like feeling good or having an orgasm.
Hmm?
I think there are quite a few women who don’t really understand what it means to orgasm, but not understanding what feels good?
That could be a problem.
I think many men enjoy seeing a woman feel good—making sounds, or reacting with a little shiver.
It’s common if you’ve only recently had your first experience. But if that’s not the case, it means you’re missing an important part that would normally come naturally, so you may need to work twice as hard in other areas.
Of course, there are probably some highly skilled people who can help someone develop that sensitivity, but I don’t think you’re likely to meet one through ordinary papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
So for now, it may be best to give up on that aspect and focus on doing your best in other areas. By “other areas,” I don’t necessarily mean you have to moan or pretend to feel good, though that might be necessary.
A clean-up blowjob might earn you some extra points.
It also depends on the man, but some men enjoy talking and touching each other in bed. Others may like taking a bath together.
Rather than focusing too much on sex, I think it’s also good to value physical affection. There are probably men who are looking for that kind of connection.
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I’m Meg, a female member.
What a sweet girl! *tears*
The gentleman who made you an offer clearly has a good eye.
If you’re not sure, I think it’s perfectly fine to ask what would make the other person happy (*^^*)
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I’m Joe—someone who spends two-thirds of his life thinking about erotic things, yet is terrible at sex and lacking in confidence.
I could really feel the questioner’s feelings coming through, and as the poet Mitsuo Aida once said, Joe feels that “you’re fine just as you are.” If I had to offer just one piece of advice, though, it might be important not to be excessively shy. Shyness can be an essential part of eroticism, but I suspect many men lose interest when it goes too far—according to my usual? Joe research.
So why not try finding a way to be just a little bolder? My recommendation is to wear some sexy lingerie. If you live in central Tokyo, take a look at the lingerie section on the sixth floor of Matsuya Ginza. In particular, Aubade is Joe’s top pick. It’s a little pricey, but it might not be a bad idea to go with your beloved man and ask him to buy you some. Plenty of customers come with male companions, so the staff are used to it. When you try something on, you can even ask the staff to let the man see you in it. It could also be good practice for becoming just a little bolder. Please feel free to use this as a reference, without pushing yourself.
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I’m Rin, a female member.
I understand feeling embarrassed and letting that come first. But you do really like him, right?
Even at my age, I still feel quite shy, so like Marika, I sometimes relied on alcohol too. I told my partner, “I’m really embarrassed and nervous, but I do like it a lot…” and he ordered me a drink first.
Once my inhibitions eased, my more sensual side started to show, and I became more responsive.
Other than that, I’d say: even if you’re embarrassed, respond honestly; stay close to your partner’s skin; kiss him yourself several times; and after you’re finished, stay close and don’t pull away…
You gradually get used to it, and the two of you develop your own rhythm.
You’re still very young, so it should be fun letting your partner show you the ropes.
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I’m Marika, a female member.
If the person asking were in their late 30s, I might say something different, but if you’re in your mid-20s or younger and a B-type, I think you’re fine just the way you are.
If you honestly tell the man, “I’m not really sure what I’m doing. I like you and want you to enjoy yourself, so could you show me?” I bet the older gentlemen would be completely smitten.
The key to enjoying yourself is to relax. It depends on the person, but since I’m a lightweight, even a tiny bit of alcohol makes me feel much more sensual. It might be a good idea to find whatever helps you relax.
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I’m Seattle, a male member.
I think the key is not holding back your voice. Don’t stay silent—clearly tell him out loud what you liked and what you didn’t. Even if you feel embarrassed, forget about that and just let yourself go.
Also, the best remedy is to clearly express how much you adore him.
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I’m Tetsu, a male member.
Looks like the questions about sex keep coming. I’m looking forward to hearing everyone’s different opinions (lol).
Speaking from the male perspective, it’s an illusion to think that every man wants to make a woman feel good during sex. We hear about sexual offenses in the news almost every day, and most of the perpetrators are men. The reality is that there are quite a few men who only care about satisfying their own desires. Unfortunately, there are men like that among the male members of the club as well.
You’re not a professional, so you don’t need to feel that you have to satisfy a man every time. That said, your thoughtfulness and desire to please him are very important, so I think you’re fine as you are. (If you’re aiming to become a professional at pleasing men, you should change careers and work in the adult entertainment industry.)
When it comes to club activities, I think the only real way to measure a man’s satisfaction is whether the relationship continues. If it continues, that’s proof that he’s getting a certain level of satisfaction from it.
As I wrote in my answer to the previous question, communication is important when it comes to sex. I hope you meet a man who communicates with you as your relationship develops and builds a comfortable relationship that you can enjoy too.
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I’m Hikōki, a male member.
You sound young, so as long as you have the desire, I think you’ll be fine. You probably don’t need to overthink anything.
It may still take you some years to fully develop, but I’m sure your male partner will be satisfied.
Also, you should clearly say when something makes you uncomfortable or hurts (though it might possibly ruin the mood…).
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