I’m considering joining. I’m a woman.

Mamiya from Universe Tokyo will answer your question. As for the breakdown of the 50,000 yen for an adult relationship, there generally aren’t men doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) with the intention of only having dinner. I think everyone in the sugar-dating scene wishes people who expect to receive over 20,000 yen for dinner alone would go extinct. The initial transportation allowance should really be given to someone who has the potential to develop into something more. Getting 20,000 yen for transportation for a meal means she’s a SALON-level woman! For people using dating clubs, intimate dates are the main focus. Since dinner and an adult relationship (intimate) are treated as a package, they probably don’t think of the amounts separately.

I’m Meg, a female member. I’ve been keeping up with the latest papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) trends on social media. People say things haven’t changed much, but the decisive difference between ordinary apps and a dating club is that your identity is verified by a third party, right? You won’t find an app with this level of security and reassurance, will you? With apps, even if something dangerous happens, you may end up having no choice but to suffer in silence. I’ve never really thought about the breakdown of the fees, but I do think it’s important to prioritize safety. Please come in for an interview. (I’m not affiliated with the club, by the way.)

I’m Maezawa from the President’s Office, and I’ll answer this as well. > Until now, I’ve been doing papa-katsu for 2 for dinner only, so if the total is 5, wouldn’t that mean dinner 2 + an adult relationship effectively worth 3? For the first date arranged by Universe, the allowance for dinner (what we call transportation expenses) is set at between 0.5 and 1.0. So if the total is 5, that would be dinner 1 + adult relationship 4 in practice. (Though they might insist on breaking it down as 0.5 + 4.5.) From the second meeting onward, the two people are free to decide the terms themselves, so dinner 2 + adult relationship 3 = 5 seems perfectly reasonable. If you’re not satisfied with that, you could also say, “I don’t need dinner—please give me 5 for the adult relationship.” That part is entirely up to the two of you. I’m guessing you were active on dating apps. As you said, some people on apps set very detailed options, such as: Adult relationship: 30,000 yen Dinner: 10,000 yen/hour Blowjob: 5,000 yen Cunnilingus: 5,000 yen Dates other than dinner: 5,000 yen/hour Photos without showing the face: 20,000 yen Everything is added separately Any other expenses are paid by the man. Something like that, I suppose. There are some strange options that apparently aren’t included in the adult relationship, but perhaps “adult relationship” simply means penetration. If that’s the case, people may think the allowance on apps is low, when in reality it isn’t that different from an upscale dating club—which may be why questions like this come up. That’s why I’ve been saying that if allowances are kept too low, dating clubs will eventually disappear. But the male members seem to take the attitude of: “I don’t care whether dating clubs disappear or not. Allowances are up to the individuals, right? I said I wouldn’t get involved, so what’s the problem? Just let us do things our way.” There’s long been a tendency in Japan to think that cheaper is better. But is that really a good thing? Many of the male members are successful people, so I wouldn’t think they could fail to understand this. > Cunnilingus is usually something men do to please women, yet it’s treated as an option? lol If you put it that way, then even taking a woman out to dinner because you think she’ll enjoy it becomes an “option” if you want to have dinner together after the first meeting instead of just going to a hotel, right? If you don’t pay for it, she’ll probably think you’re stingy—the kind of guy who pays the allowance for intimacy but refuses to pay for dinner. lol Come to think of it, there also seem to be options like: Holding hands: 2,000 yen Kissing (no tongue): 3,000 yen Hugging: 2,000 yen I wonder how much further they’ll break everything down.

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. Exactly. When I was going on dinner dates with a Type B woman, we often went somewhere afterward, so I gave her 20,000 yen whenever we did. When our relationship became an adult relationship (intimate), I gave her 50,000 yen. But it did feel strange: dinner only was 20,000 yen, while dinner plus intimacy was 50,000 yen—meaning the intimacy was effectively worth just an extra 30,000 yen. In her case, I couldn’t tell whether 50,000 yen for an adult relationship was too little, or whether 20,000 yen for dinner only was relatively generous. But somehow, I got the feeling that the 20,000-yen dinner arrangement was more convenient for her. So if you can keep things at 20,000 yen for dinner only, I think it’s perfectly fine to continue with that arrangement rather than forcing an adult relationship.

I’m Tetsu, a male member. 1 + 4 = 5, and 2 + 3 = 5—that’s elementary school math. Maybe I’m just being stingy, but I wouldn’t pay 2 for dinner only. I don’t know how beautiful or talented you are, or what kind of experiences you’ve had, but the reality is pretty harsh. Even “dinner” can mean anything from a hotel dinner to a family restaurant (judging by the club’s website). Allowances vary from person to person, too. There’s no itemized breakdown—it’s simply how I feel. If I’m especially satisfied with the date that day, I may increase the amount (though I certainly wouldn’t reduce it).

I’m Paper Airplane, a male member. If you calculate it by the hour, then yes, it works out that way. But even though this is a dating club, it’s still about men and women... Sometimes we spend six to eight hours together for dinner only, but it’s no different from having a two-hour dinner. I pay less than what you’re asking for—even if she’s a difficult woman. An adult relationship (intimate) can occasionally last just one or two hours, or we might spend half a day together, but the allowance doesn’t change. If you don’t want to spend that much time together, you can simply leave earlier. If you keep calculating everything by the hour, you might accidentally let “customer” slip out one day. Personally, I’m the type who prefers sex with genuine feelings involved. So I’m uncomfortable with thinking of it as payment for sex; I’m someone who sees value in the woman herself and in her presence. That’s why I give the allowance for her, not for sex. Even for dinner only, I may occasionally give as much as—or more than—I would for an adult relationship. (Although “I got completely hooked” might be the more accurate way to put it...) Being intimate after paying an allowance makes me feel a certain humiliation and emptiness. So in a situation like yours, I wouldn’t mind giving more than 2 even for dinner only. However, I would find it difficult to accept the woman bringing up “2” first. That, in itself, feels quite off-putting. (It’s more that I want to be the one to offer it. And if the woman asks about “2” first, I can’t help thinking, “Is that your minimum?”)

I’m Kazu, a male member. In my case, it’s 5 in total. There’s no breakdown. So far, I haven’t had a situation where we did only one or the other, but even if it were adult relationship (intimate) only, I don’t think I’d change the allowance. Lately, the women I meet have been asking to eat because they’re hungry after work. For example, if someone told me she was on her period but still wanted to meet for dinner only (no intimacy), I might try to look good and leave the allowance unchanged if she were an important partner. (Although, when a woman I met through the club asked me the day after our first date to accompany her for a meal, I paid no allowance. Unless she’s someone who can tell genuinely entertaining stories, I don’t feel like paying to have dinner with her. I did give her a gift worth around 10,000 yen, though.) When we meet somewhere far away, I increase the allowance to cover the extra time and effort involved in traveling. Naturally, I also pay her actual transportation costs separately at the regular fare. If it gets late, I cover the taxi fare as well. People who calculate things the way the questioner does are probably simply people who weren’t a good fit with me. I also don’t think there are any too-good-to-be-true situations where the allowance suddenly increases just because you change venues. That said, since there must have been people who paid those women the allowances they’re quoting, I suppose the reality is that everyone offers whatever allowance they feel is appropriate. P.S. Discussions about allowances really get people worked up, don’t they? (lol) Adding this after reading Maezawa’s answer: C○nnilingus is usually something men do to please women, so is it really treated as an optional extra? (lol) If it were -0.5 instead, that would at least be amusing. For the record, I don’t do it with people I meet through adult entertainment or dating apps, but I usually do with women I meet through a dating club. Some women are even pleased and say that their previous boyfriend never did it. To me, that’s the clearest difference between adult entertainment and dating clubs.