【Shocking news!】A man I’ve been seeing for about three months asked me to lower my allowance.

Mamiya from Universe Tokyo here. That’s shocking news!! I’m truly sorry to hear that. That said, based on your attitude in the question, I honestly feel that a reduction may be justified—or perhaps even more than justified. Do you really think you get to choose between the 80,000 and 50,000 yen right in front of you? The person paying is, of course, the one who decides whether the allowance is worth paying and how much it should be. Why not take a moment to consider whether there was anything lacking on your part? Try to sincerely accept that perhaps you weren’t providing something worth the amount being paid. Also, negotiating a lower amount is entirely possible. Just as you compare him with other papas, he is naturally comparing you with others as well. Rather than fixating on the 80,000 yen in front of you and losing out on your overall yearly income, I think it would be wiser to choose someone you can maintain a steady, long-term relationship with—even if the allowance is lower.

I’m Meg, a female member. That must have been quite a shock… If there were other people involved too, I can see why you’d end up comparing them. It would make you want to say goodbye as well. But even when you’ve been seeing someone for a long time, there are days when they say, “Sorry, I can only give you less than usual today”… Personally, though, I’m someone who wants to see a person regardless of the allowance amount. Perhaps what you really can’t accept is the character of someone who suddenly starts offering less, too.

Maezawa from the CEO’s office here as well. > I don’t understand why someone would lower the allowance just because we’ve gotten closer... There’s a very male-specific way of thinking behind this. Men often see the allowance they pay as compensation for the decline in their appeal due to age and other factors. In other words, they believe that if they were the same age, they’d be confident they could outdo the average man and have a normal relationship with you. If they were the same age, you’d see them as a romantic prospect, so they assume you’d date them based purely on whether you genuinely liked them, without any allowance involved. But in reality, age catches up with everyone equally. There’s nothing anyone can do about that. Still, as they’ve gotten older, they’ve gained money as a weapon, so they see the allowance as making up for the appeal they’ve lost with age. Until now, they may have thought they needed to make up for that with 6, but since you’ve become closer, they start thinking that maybe they could still see you for 5. Naturally, 4, 3, 2, and so on are waiting further down the line. (笑) If things go badly, they may even mistake you for a romantic partner and start asking to see you for free. In other words, they’re trying to turn what started as papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) into a romantic relationship. > Even including an adult relationship (intimate), I get 8 on a pay-per-meeting basis from other people, so I can’t accept getting only 5 from this one person. That’s impressive. You must be very attractive. If that’s the case, there are people willing to pay you 8, so I think it’s perfectly fine to cut off the man offering 5. That said, he’s still making a tentative request, more or less asking, “What if...?” So why not make a request of your own? You could say something like: “I’ve been receiving an allowance of 6 from you because you’re special to me. In reality, other people offer me 8, but I’ve prioritized seeing you over them, so I haven’t been able to meet them very often. Since we’re talking about the allowance now, would you be able to make it 8, the same as the others?” If he says something like, “Then let’s continue with 6,” you can keep him as an option. Or you could take this opportunity to split the difference and say, “If it’s not 7, I won’t see you anymore.” That part is entirely up to you. But needless to say, it’s better to keep as many options open as possible. Even the papa supporters offering you 8 may leave if they find someone they like better. If you don’t have enough time, then of course you should cut people off, but even so, it’s better to maintain connections with as many men as possible. You don’t have to stay involved with people you dislike, but I think it’s best to treat the people you’ve been seeing so far with care. At the same time, some negotiation is necessary, so you can play your hand here while being prepared for the possibility that you may end things—or that he may end things with you. After all, he was the one who started this.

I’m Date◎Yume, a male member. I can really understand how this man feels. Normally, even if a man ends a relationship, he can simply look for another woman, so from his perspective, there’s no real problem. If anything, I imagine he’s eager to make a new offer, since there are so many wonderful women at the club. I think he has carefully considered the situation and is negotiating a reduction in the allowance. From the woman’s perspective, if she’s confident that she’ll soon receive another offer and can enter into an arrangement on the same terms, including the man’s personality and everything else, then I think she should turn him down. So, which will you choose? I think that’s all it comes down to. This is where you need to think carefully. You can either let him go or give him another chance.

I’m Tetsu, a male member. Hmm… if I were in the female member’s position, I’d simply cut ties. Is there really any other option? If he’s asking to lower the allowance, that means he’s lowered the value he places on you.

Seattle here, a male member. I’ll never understand men who try to lower the allowance. If you don’t think she’s worth it, just cut ties.

I’m Flag Maker, a columnist. Hang on a second. Give me a moment to process this. …Other women get 8 per pay-per-meeting. I’m already putting up with him despite getting only 6, and now he wants to reduce it even further?! What the hell is this guy talking about? The fact that I’m accepting 6 per meeting is because I’m being kind! And he has the nerve to trample on even that and say, “We’ve gotten closer, so let’s lower the allowance”?! You’ve got to be kidding me!! This is definitely “shocking news”! …That really is shocking news, lol. What a horrible, stingy man. If it were me, I’d message him, “You’re not worth that much,” then block him immediately, lol. I can’t really comment since we’re not competing in the same division, but it’s true that there are women who fight the way you do once they reach the top division and above. I briefly made it to the top division too, and I faced someone like that—but in the end, I lost by being forced out, lol. I’ve dropped down the rankings now, so I have to start over at training school. Incidentally, once you make it all the way to yokozuna, you can’t drop in rank. Retirement is the only option. Just be careful not to get injured.

I’m Kazu, a male member who pays 50,000 yen including transportation, regardless of who the other person is. If you can’t accept it, then break up—that’s the only option, in my opinion. This is by no means shocking or newsworthy. Be aware that opening with something this clickbait-like tends to invite rather lukewarm answers. Next question, please.

I’m Kamihikōki, the male member my wife just nicknamed “Meatball.” Even if you’ve met three or four times, you may still want to see each other more. Even after seeing each other for two or three months, you may still want to continue. But since the man is paying an allowance, there probably aren’t many cases where he feels that way. He may well want to continue seeing you, but originally, it seems there was a mismatch between the two of you—an 8 and a 5… If, to him, other women are a 5 in the same way that other papas are an 8 to you, he may not feel like meeting someone who’s a 6. He may feel bad for the woman who’s a 5, and at the same time find her cute. In this case, the positions of men and women are reversed. If you told him, “I’m really an 8,” I have a feeling he’d simply part ways with you and end things. (From a man’s perspective, women who say their amount is up to 5 may actually seem cuter… regardless of what level they’re at.)