Have any of you ever shed tears while participating in a dating club?
As an example, I’d like to share my own experience as well. (I’m a female member.)
I gave up my second virginity through a dating club, and unconsciously—perhaps because of a sense of loss—a single tear rolled down my cheek. Even after it was over, I sat there dazed for a while.
The second time was when a male member held me tightly. It was the first time in my life that anyone had ever hugged me so strongly. I was so happy that I started crying. But the fact that he was married was just too painful, and when I got home, I felt sad and cried again.
Through the dating club, I truly had some experiences that were both sweet and bittersweet. They were painful at the time, but now I’m very grateful for them.
I’d love to hear your stories as well.
Thank you in advance.
Mamiya from Universe Tokyo here.
I’m not sure whether being a “second virgin” is really something important, but crying on a date is certainly a mysterious, unforgettable experience.
I still don’t have an answer for why I cried during intimacy, either.
The first time, I had been rejecting the other person’s feelings for a long time, but perhaps the moment finally came when I could accept them. I realized during the experience just how deeply they cared about me, and the tears started to flow.
The second time was with the same person.
More recently, there’s someone I call my “therapist,” and I cried during two out of our five encounters—which is a surprisingly high rate. Perhaps the way they move and the way I express my voice happen to resemble the rhythm of crying.
I also suspect that connecting with this person may have healed or resonated with some emotion from my past.
I wasn’t sad, and it wasn’t exactly that I was moved, either. But it was a very mysterious feeling, somewhat close to both. I imagine there are still many experiences like this that haven’t been fully understood.
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I’m Tetsu, a male member.
I’ve had a woman cry once, too. She suddenly burst into tears the moment we finished being intimate. When I asked what was wrong, she said that while she was feeling good, various painful memories from her past had flashed through her mind like a montage, and she couldn’t hold back her emotions.
When someone tells you something like that, all you can really do is hug her. It’s probably something men can’t experience. At least, I never have (lol).
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I’m Rin, a female member.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more prone to tears—I cry watching sports or the news, and I always tear up at my children’s events.
Just like you, I love being held in a tight hug.
I try not to let my busyness, worries, or poor health show, and I go about my days cheerfully with a smile. So when we meet and he quietly hugs me or strokes my head, I feel truly relieved, and sometimes I even start to cry.
When I’m feeling overwhelmed, being held tightly while he whispers, “It’s okay,” really helps me relax.
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I’m Maezawa from the President’s Office, and I’ll answer this one too.
What does “second virgin” mean???
Come to think of it, around New Year’s I sometimes wonder, “So, how many times will I still be a virgin this year?” And during other seasons, “How many times will I be a virgin this month?”
But there are also women who like being held tightly.
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I’m a lost man in my 60s.
Those of you who have been reading this Q&A site for a long time may feel like I’m bringing this up again, but… (^◇^;)
It was our second date. She was a Type B girl, and she had come to stay overnight, prepared to enter into an adult relationship. We were alone together in a hotel room…
I could sense how serious she was about me, so, standing before the bed, I said, “We’ll have to part ways at the end of next month. I want you to promise me that we’ll say goodbye. Otherwise, I can’t bring myself to be intimate with you…”
I may have shed a few tears along with her…
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I’m Joe.
When my mother passed away ten years ago, I felt like I’d shed all the tears I had in me for a lifetime. So I can fake-cry, but no tears actually come out.
For one thing, whenever I see someone crying—man or woman—Joe can’t help wanting to laugh, which is pretty inappropriate. On the inside, I’m cracking up.
That said, this spring, when I walked from Ebisu to Shinagawa, the cityscape looked blurry. Maybe I was actually crying. At the very least, it didn’t feel like fake crying.
Though, to be clear, that’s just how it felt.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Wow, that was quite a day. Mac’s answer will reveal what happened. This is exactly why club activities are so much fun. Mac, thank you for the excitement.
As for me, I’ve had plenty of things to reflect on during my club activities, but so far, I haven’t shed any tears.
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I’m Marika, a female member.
When I was in my twenties, I also cried a lot while dating a married man in his forties.
That kind of kindness from men is almost a sin.
People may tell you not to get serious, but if it were that easy to stop just because someone said so, no one would struggle with it.
Now that I’m in my forties, I’ve never shed a tear at the club. I have made a papa cry, though.
I don’t love him enough to cry over him, but I care about him and treat him with affection in return for the love he shows me.
This question reminded me of how I felt when I was still young and pure, and it made me a little wistful.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
I once ended up sobbing my eyes out after meeting someone through a papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)-type arrangement.
I wrote about it in detail in this column: https://universe-club.jp/column/watasigaonna
She’s now married and pregnant—an expectant mother.
We’re going on a date soon to enjoy some delicious soba.
I have no intention of making a move on her anymore. Even if she were to say something, I’d probably be like, “Only if we can confirm it’s safe,” haha.
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