Nice to meet you.

Universe Tokyo’s Mamiya here. In regional areas, you’re more likely to run into people you know in familiar places, so there’s a greater risk of being recognized. What about Tokyo? Even on the train you take every day, I think the chances of running into someone you know are fairly low. You can reduce the risk depending on how much you’re willing to spend—for example, taking taxis everywhere and choosing members-only restaurants or private rooms for meals. You could also research areas that neither you nor your partner usually visit and go on dates there.

I’m Fuu, a columnist. You’re worried about being recognized at a glance, right? Once your identity has been revealed, it’s too late. I know it’s difficult, but as Noriichi suggested, why not be honest with your partner and say: “We can be as affectionate as we want in private, so I’d rather keep things low-key in public.” If someone told me, “We can be affectionate in the room—you can do whatever you like,” I wouldn’t take it badly either ^_^ For new offers, perhaps you could put your workplace and general living area under “no-go areas for dates” on your profile. Quite a few women on these sites list places where they don’t want to go on dates. It might also help to mention from the start that you’re concerned about being seen by people you know. Think of a convincing reason, such as saying it would be a problem if you ran into someone from work. We’ve all had enough of COVID, but being able to wear a mask normally—even in summer—is still helpful for this kind of activity. I hope you’re able to explain things and convince your partner.

I’m a BB7 male member. If I hadn’t joined a club, I probably wouldn’t have looked at things this way. But now, whenever I see a couple with a significant age gap walking together, I automatically assume they’re doing papa-katsu. When an obviously mismatched couple with a large age gap gets overly affectionate in public, they may be fine with it themselves, but it’s not a pleasant sight for those watching—it can look downright ugly. I think they should stop.

I’m Flagmaker, a column writer. I’m actually pretty open about going on dates within my usual area. Luckily, I’ve never been spotted so far. Even if someone did see us, I could introduce her to my coworkers as “my wife.” And if one of my wife’s friends happened to see us, I could explain to my wife that she was “someone from work.” That said, we never act lovey-dovey in public. We don’t touch each other at all. It’s not like I want anyone to see us in the first place.

I’m Gaku, a male member. I usually meet women while I’m on business trips, somewhere far from where I live, but I’ve actually run into someone I know before. I was walking with her near the station just before midnight when I suddenly heard: “Gaku! Long time no see!” It really freaked me out, but he’s a company president who’s totally open about that kind of thing, so he just said: “Nice girl you’ve got with you.” And that was the end of it. Ever since then, though, I’ve been a little more careful even when I’m traveling for work. When I meet someone in the prefecture where I live, I’m extremely cautious. I usually arrange to meet at a hotel. Alternatively, if it’s a place commonly used by older men accompanying hostesses to work, nobody pays any attention.

I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member. I’m definitely the cautious type. Even so, I ran into someone I knew in a completely unexpected place on the outskirts of town—probably around the end of last year. They looked at me and said, “What are you doing here…?” So I replied, “These things happen. What can you do? I’m a good-looking guy.” Lately, wearing masks has made things a little less stressful. But I can’t tell whether she wants to show everyone that she’s a bit of a beauty, or whether she just wants to give me a hard time. She keeps making excuses about how her mask gets stuffy and trying to take it off. Even when I tell her, “What are we going to do if someone sees us?” she says, “I don’t mind being seen if I’m with you, Date-san!” She says things that make no sense, and I end up telling her, “Put your mask on! Put your mask on!”

Today, I’m Paper Airplane, a male member who was unusually praised by his wife with, “Well, at least you’re good for something,” after taking the kids out. > Acquaintances connected to your spouse or children What worries me more than people I know is my children’s mothers and my wife’s friends. I may not recognize them, but they would probably recognize me, so I’m always uneasy. (Especially since, wherever I go, people often remember me after seeing me just once because of my appearance…) I get pretty nervous when I’m traveling with a woman and we happen to pass near one of my wife’s friends’ homes. For dates, I usually pick her up by car—at her home or nearby, after work, or wherever she happens to be—and drive her home afterward. If we’re meeting and parting at the destination, we sometimes meet up at a restaurant or karaoke room we’ve both been to many times. The most common patterns are stopping by a convenience store to buy boxed meals and prepared foods, then going to a hotel to compare them; heading straight to a hotel; or grabbing a quick meal at a conveyor-belt sushi restaurant or Japanese diner before going to a hotel. Occasionally, I’ll have her sample takeout from my own restaurant. When we have time and want to enjoy the date itself, I take her to places like tucked-away neighborhood restaurants. (Yesterday, for example, she said the food was delicious and wanted to come again, so we ate and drank our fill for a little over 4,000 yen in total. On the way home, we also discovered a hidden Western-style restaurant nearby and decided to try it next time.) Rather than going to flashy, conspicuous places, I try to explore restaurants beforehand—usually by going alone first—to see whether they’re independent places, whether I know any of the staff, and whether they have a relaxed atmosphere and good food. Since they’re usually independently owned, the staff don’t change much, and I feel relatively comfortable going there. When walking around town, we don’t hold hands. We walk very close together, close enough that our hands naturally brush or our shoulders touch. (During the COVID period, there were times when no one was around in either direction, and then we sometimes ended up holding hands naturally after our hands touched. As soon as I saw someone, I would let go.) With my longtime girlfriends, who are close to me in age, we act fairly openly—probably looking more or less like a married couple to people around us. One of them usually comes to my house and stays for half a day before going home, so we only walk around outside together once every few years. My younger girlfriend from outside the club usually wears casual clothes, and I’ve even seen her in pajamas or without makeup. Since people have actually mistaken us for parent and child, I behave with the assumption that that’s probably how we look.

I’m Kazu, a male member. I’m concerned about being seen too, so I usually arrange to meet at a private restaurant in a hotel, then go straight up to the room by elevator. For women who are especially worried about being recognized, I check in beforehand and order room service so we can eat in the room. If we decide to go out somewhere together, I’d probably choose a place well away from where we live and spend our daily lives.

I’m Rin, a female member. When your preferences for the relationship don’t align, it becomes more stressful than enjoyable, doesn’t it? In my case, not only would my face be recognized, but searching my surname would bring up a whole list of results—my husband, my son, and me. So if I do pursue a relationship, I give them an alias. I also made sure not to receive offers from people in the same line of work. Once, during a first dinner, I realized that the man was the father of one of my son’s senior classmates. I turned him down without telling him a single thing that was true about me. Even in public, I kept my distance from men who wanted to put their arms around me or hold hands. First, I establish an emotional distance, then a physical distance, and then I adjust how I respond to their messages… The man I’m currently seeing lives a little far away. He understands that, because of my position, the parents at my children’s schools already know what I look like, even if I don’t know them personally. He picks me up by car at a nearby station, and we relax at a hotel. Other times, we take a day trip to a hot-spring inn with a private open-air bath and simply unwind. In everyday life, he’s the kind of person who comes at you with a fastball of very direct expressions every day, but he’s also extremely clever, so we never walk around outside holding hands. At members-only lounges and gyms, or in front of trusted business associates and their successors, we act close—almost like an ordinary married couple. I don’t think this is a world worth stepping into while deliberately inviting unnecessary risks. So I only pursue relationships with people who share the understanding that we should both protect our families and our standing in society. I’ve tried to share what I could based on my limited experience. Was there anything that might be helpful? I hope you’re able to enjoy yourself without stress while avoiding unnecessary risks.

Maezawa from the CEO’s office here. > The man I’m currently seeing is very affectionate and keeps clinging to me even in public. I’ve always disliked doing that in front of other people, so I’m trying to find a way to prevent it. That’s simply his personality, so I think it would be difficult to stop him. He’s probably the type who wants to be physically affectionate from the moment you meet. It’s also possible that he joined Universe specifically to find someone who’s comfortable with that kind of relationship. Since I assume you dislike being seen by others, you could explain that to him and suggest meeting directly in a room, having room service instead of going out for dinner, or arranging dates in that kind of setting. However, there’s also a chance the man may not like that. You might be better off looking for a man who doesn’t get overly affectionate in public.