Men who ask to meet on the same day seem inconsiderate to me.
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It feels selfish, like they don’t take the other person’s schedule into account...
If they really cared about the other person, they’d coordinate their schedules at least a week in advance, right?
I was once offered a same-day meeting well in advance, but that man turned out to be disappointing too.
How do you view men who ask to meet on the same day?
I’m Saito, the columnist♪
That’s exactly how I see it.
He’s making up for another woman’s last-minute cancellation because of her period.
(While claiming that a business dinner had been canceled.)
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I’m BB7, a male member.
Some women have told me they get excited when they’re invited out on the same day, so I think it really depends on the person.
If someone says, “I suddenly wanted to see you,” you might think, “How annoying,” or “That makes me happy!”—it varies depending on who it is, doesn’t it?
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Universe Tokyo, Mamiya here.
I can certainly understand how difficult it is to make plans.
Even with new offers, there are always last-minute requests coming in every day, so there are definitely people who operate that way. I don’t think they necessarily mean any harm.
Wanting to see someone on the spur of the moment might be a form of affection, too. If you can look at it that way, you may find a wider range of men you can date. But if managing your own schedule is your top priority, there’s no need to force yourself into an arrangement that doesn’t work for you.
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I’m Tetsu, a male member.
This may be hard to hear, but I’ve done it several times myself. Everyone thinks differently, so is it really fair to simply label someone as inconsiderate? Some women receive no offers at all and are genuinely happy when one comes in, even on the day of.
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I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s office, and I’ll answer this one too.
As for offers:
Same-day or day-before offers can be a real hassle, and most people already have plans, so they usually don’t work out. I ask people to avoid making them whenever possible.
That said, if a man expects you to cancel other plans just to see him, I do feel that’s rather self-centered.
If the exchange is more like:
“Can you meet today?”
“I already have plans.”
“Got it, maybe next time!”
then I don’t think it has much to do with consideration.
If you simply tell him from the start, “Meeting the same day is absolutely impossible for me,” he probably won’t ask to meet that day.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
That’s true—when I make plans normally, I usually schedule things about a month in advance. Even when I’m making an exception, I’ll generally plan at least a week ahead.
Because that’s how I am, I try not to ask someone about meeting today or tomorrow unless we have the kind of relationship where I don’t think she’ll find it unpleasant.
That said, one of the women I’m seeing often asks me about meeting today or tomorrow. I really like her, so I make time to see her because I don’t want to miss the opportunity. I don’t feel that she’s being inconsiderate.
So, I think people who ask about meeting today or tomorrow simply manage their schedules that way. It may just be a difference in lifestyle.
However, if you tell him that you find it inconsiderate and he keeps doing it, then perhaps he really is someone who lacks consideration.
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I’m Column Writer Flag Maker.
To put it bluntly, I think it’s simply, “I just want to hook up that day.”
Sure, it could also be because they suddenly have some free time, but ultimately, they reach out because they want to hook up, right? lol
That’s how I am, anyway.
I just don’t try to dress it up or make myself look cool.
I don’t know what the questioner’s situation is, though. Just guessing. Maybe.
Could it be that the sudden message feels rude because the reason why they want to see you isn’t clear?
For example:
- I suddenly have some precious free time.
- I really started wanting to see you.
- Or, to be honest, I really want to have s*x with you lol
- So I felt bad contacting you on such short notice, but I worked up the courage to message you.
- I won’t pressure you, but are you free?
- If we can’t meet… I’ll just have to hold myself back lol
What do you think?
Regardless of the reason, is it still creepy? lol
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