I’ve been active for almost two years. Lately, I feel like I’m bored—or maybe I just don’t have much of a sex drive or motivation anymore.
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Even when I look at women on the dating club, I don’t get as excited as I used to.
The other day, I also lost my erection during intimacy with a woman from the dating club.
I still look at the women on my profile page and think, “She’s attractive,” but I don’t feel like I want to sleep with them as much as I used to.
Maybe my first intimate experience with a woman I met through the dating club was the most exciting it could get, in every sense of the word.
I’m finally starting to understand what those ads mean when they say, “Regain your confidence as a man.” lol
I’m not really sure what’s going on with me, but have any other male members had a similar experience?
Is this what people call ED? I can still get aroused when I watch videos.
I’m in my late thirties.
I’d appreciate any advice from those with more experience.
I’m BB7, a male member.
It’s only natural to get bored and for your sex drive to decline.
If you can still get aroused watching videos, you’re probably okay for now.
Maybe you’ve become disconnected from real human sensations and physical experiences. Are you in IT, by any chance? It’s common among people who use their minds constantly but not their bodies.
You’re like a zoo animal living in a cage.
Try golf, fishing, hiking, camping, surfing, or even going alone to a deserted island and surviving.
Anything is fine—just spend a few days in nature and reconnect with your primal side.
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I’m Tetsu, a male member.
I was surprised by how similar our circumstances and ages are.
Compared with when I first joined, I also feel like I’ve lost motivation in various ways. Even so, I still make offers to women.
In my case, I think the reason is that what I’m looking for has changed. At first, an adult relationship (intimate) was my top priority, but recently, spending enjoyable time with a woman has become my number-one priority. Simply put, intimacy is no longer an absolute requirement. Sometimes things end without it. But if the woman had a good time, I’m satisfied.
Men can be very sensitive when it comes to sex. It’s quite common for one unsuccessful experience to lead to ED. There are many possible causes. In your case, it might possibly be AV. If the pleasure you get from watching AV becomes greater than what you get from sex, it can result in ED-like symptoms. Without realizing this, you try to have sex and it doesn’t work out. That can then develop into genuine ED.
As a possible way to address it, why not try refraining from watching AV for a while and then having sex? I don’t think you’ve reached the stage of full-blown ED yet.
As for your club activities, this may be a good opportunity to take another look at what you’re seeking from the women at the club.
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Mamiya from Universe Tokyo here.
People in their 40s seem to have been born in a less affluent era, so I associate them with being hardworking.
Watching TV makes you feel as though you’ve been to that place.
Watching a movie makes you feel like a hero.
But browsing websites can make you lose that sense of excitement.
Have you had a string of disappointing experiences on dates?
I also feel that living in an age where videos alone can get you excited isn’t necessarily a good thing—it may be part of society’s strategy.
Before you reach the end of your life as a man, don’t let yourself reach the end of your humanity first! I feel like more and more people are quietly showing signs of COVID-related depression.
I recommend disconnecting from the internet and taking on the real world once again.
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I’m Flag Maker, a papa-katsu columnist.
Ahh… I know exactly how you feel. I really do. I’m in exactly the same boat, and I’m in my late thirties.
My next column is actually about that very topic.
That said, it’s not good to let your offers come to a complete stop.
“The only thing that should come to a complete stop is a golf ball.”
As long as you’re a member, keep sending out new offers.
And if you get bored, that’s okay. I’ve gotten tired of paying an allowance for adult relationships too.
Right now, I’m exploring whether there might be other ways to enjoy papa-katsu besides the usual kind.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office here, too.
> I lost my erection while being intimate with a woman from a dating club.
From a man’s perspective, that’s what you’d call not being quite compatible.
Once you find someone who’s a good match for you, that won’t happen anymore. (笑)
You’ve still got a long way to go.
> Lately, I feel like I’m bored—or maybe I’ve lost my sex drive, or just don’t feel motivated.
When that happens, make an offer to an A-type woman and take her out for dinner.
Then think about how you would go about winning her over over the course of a year.
The rule is: “You’re not allowed to ask her out yourself.”
You have to wait for her to invite you.
That’s a rule for the truly advanced.
If you manage to go to a hotel with her within a year, you might get to see a whole new world...
If more than a year passes, there’s very little chance things will develop after that.
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I’m Kazu, another male member in his forties.
I’m in my forties too—probably at the “turning point” for my dick. I also lose interest over the smallest things, so it’s reassuring to know guys my age feel the same way.
That feeling of “I guess I’m not exactly bored, but I’m not feeling sexual, or motivated to do anything” probably affects your dick’s mood too.
I joined Universe because I was looking for new opportunities for excitement. As Mac also mentioned in his answer, haven’t you turned playing through Universe into a routine over the past two years? If you break out of that routine, I think you’ll be able to discover a whole new level of excitement.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
A club is like paying for a fixed game in sports, or fishing at a stocked pond.
The question is how much appeal that kind of effortless comfort will have for you in your forties…
Given your age, the next ten years are likely to be the period when you can shine brightest in your career and in every other aspect of life.
It’s also the time when you can take on new challenges with plenty of experience and energy—the greatest opportunity of your life—and build something meaningful to leave behind.
In life, in work, and with women, I feel that experiencing genuine encounters and natural connections is ultimately more valuable.
I also think it wouldn’t be too late to return to the club after ten years or more.
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