I’m the person who asked earlier about having a fight after my stock trading was discovered.
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Thank you, everyone. Taking your advice into account, I showed him the account after selling everything and bringing the balance down to zero. He then sent me an email saying:
“I’m glad. You just happened to make money this time. I never said I’d break up with you because you trade stocks. I’m saying this because I’m worried about you. If you didn’t matter to me, I wouldn’t say anything.”
The company president himself still has a large amount invested, but it seems he’s losing money overall. What shocked me most was that he lied to me. Your advice helped me understand that.
Some of you suggested that I find a papa (a male supporter) who trades stocks, but I actually often talk about stocks with another papa (a male supporter).
He takes my strategies into consideration, and we make day-trading predictions together, so we get along well. I’d like to value that relationship with him too.
As for the company president, yesterday I was thinking, “Maybe I should break up with him because trading stocks makes more money than his allowance.” But judging from our exchange today, it doesn’t seem like he actually wants to break up with me, so I’ll try again to make our relationship last. Basically, I really do like him…
So I’d like to ask for your advice again: Why would a papa (a male supporter) who was hurt by being lied to, as in this case, not break up with a woman right away?
We’ve been seeing each other for over a year and a half, and I feel that our relationship has gone beyond something where either of us can simply cut things off or be cut off. Still, I don’t want to step on another landmine.
I wonder if it’s because of his feelings for me, but I don’t want to take that for granted. I’d like to keep this relationship going for a long time.
I’m sorry to trouble you, and thank you in advance.
Mamiyа from Universe Tokyo here.
The president may be a kind-hearted person who cares about you so much—perhaps because of the terrible experience he went through—that he was willing to tell you things you didn’t want to hear.
I believe there are relationships in this world that are more valuable than money. You may be making your decision out of consideration for him right now, but there may come a time when you have to pay the price in another way.
Also, rebuilding trust from scratch is extremely difficult. I get the feeling that this person would support you even if things didn’t work out.
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I’m Tetsu, a male member.
So you’ve decided to continue seeing him.
As for why he hasn’t ended things with you… in a nutshell, it’s because he finds you attractive as you are now.
Whether that attraction comes from your straightforward nature—you quit trading stocks as soon as he told you to—or from your looks or sexual compatibility is something only he can truly know.
Rather than thinking negatively and worrying about becoming a person to avoid, I think it’s best to continue seeing him just as you have been. The fact that things have lasted this long means he’s satisfied with what makes you attractive to him now.
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I’m Saito, a columnist♪
Sorry for joining the conversation halfway through.
Based on what I’ve read, I do feel that the situation involving stocks is rather risky. Your papa may feel the same way.
With stocks, even a 9–1 record can quickly turn into a loss, and avoiding losses is many times more important than winning.
There’s something strange about making a topic out of a track record where you supposedly win all the time.
Of course, I sometimes talk about successful trades too, but it’s more of a “well, that’s nice” sort of thing. It’s certainly not something to get carried away about and tell other people.
Even among the people around me, myself included, no one talks about having secured gains to that extent. It’s a little embarrassing.
The fact that such a topic came up may mean that he had already developed some negative feelings toward you.
As for why they haven’t broken up, that’s between the two of them, so I can’t say. I think it’s a matter of degree, and she may be a woman he genuinely values.
Actually, I’m very intrigued by this papa. He seems like a truly wonderful person. (Just my own speculation.)
These days, even actresses who’ve fallen on hard times because of COVID can be with someone for ¥200,000. If it were me, I’d skip the troublesome back-and-forth and move on to him.
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I’m Column Writer Flag Maker.
> Why do you think a papa (a male supporter) who feels hurt after being lied to, like this time, doesn’t immediately end things with the woman?
Because he likes you! LOL
He likes you... That’s why being lied to hurts and makes him angry!
Maybe that’s just the kind of person he is.
In a way, he seems like a papa who’d be pretty easy to manipulate.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office here.
> Why do you think a papa (a male supporter) who was hurt by being lied to, like in this case, doesn’t immediately end things with the woman?
I think it’s because she apologized properly, showed proof that she had sold everything, and demonstrated her sincerity.
That said, I still have my doubts. Her level of trustworthiness has dropped a notch. If she gets caught again—or even if she starts acting suspiciously, or gives me reason to doubt her—I think it’s best to assume it’s over.
So you need to be extremely careful to make sure you’re never found out.
In my case, I can forgive her because I still want to keep seeing her as long as she doesn’t lie. But if her appeal in other areas starts to fade, even an apology won’t save things. So your everyday dates are important too.
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I’m Rin, a female member.
I’m glad things worked out for you.
You probably still want to continue, even if you have to keep it hidden. Just be careful not to step on a landmine.
I believe men generally want to feel like they have the upper hand in some way. They want to be relied on, needed, and valued… and they want their partner to be sweet and lovable. That’s the impression I get.
I think it’s important to make a man feel respected and important.
If, even in everyday life, you pay attention to what he wants and naturally make him feel valued—no matter how big or small the matter—you’ll probably both be able to enjoy your time together even more.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I agree with Mac. I don’t think a mature business owner has such delicate nerves that simply being lied to would seriously hurt him. I think he was only annoyed because, despite losing money himself, he had to listen to someone talk about making money in the stock market. So until that man makes a huge profit from stocks, talking about stocks will probably irritate him. Try telling him about a massive loss instead, and I bet he’ll become smug and cheerful, saying, “See? I told you so,” whenever stocks come up.
Now, here’s my personal opinion on why he doesn’t end things right away.
The fact that the relationship has continued for some time means you’re providing something the company president wants. It could be conversation, a comfortable time together, sex, or some combination of those. From his perspective, the balance between what you provide and the allowance is working. Breaking up with someone like you, where things are reasonably well-balanced, and searching for a replacement would be quite a hassle. Personally, I imagine he’d have to meet around 20 women through a club before finding even one with whom things felt reasonably balanced.
Also, especially when it comes to sex, you can’t know whether you’re truly compatible without being intimate several times. Things are often awkward at first. In other words, it’s not enough to go on one date each with 20 women—you’d have to date each of them several times to really know. Someone may initially seem promising, but after a few months together, things might change. Finding a partner you’re satisfied with is very difficult. Cutting someone loose just because they annoyed you a little is something an impulsive young person would do.
Of course, we’re all human, so after a year and a half, affection and attachment naturally develop.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
I don’t chase after those who leave.
She can change her mind whenever she wants, and unless there’s a reason on my end, there’s no need for me to walk away.
When things continue for a year or two, you naturally grow attached. Even if she doesn’t show up for a meetup someday, that’s okay—I’m always prepared to give her a parting payment if it comes to that. But the more involved I become, seeing all the different ways she expresses joy—including her hysterical side—the richer her expressions and gestures of happiness, anger, sadness, and joy seem. I find myself drawn to charms that men simply don’t have.
When I’m filled with such a deep sense of fulfillment, I can’t exactly be the one to let go so easily…
I have lively, back-and-forth conversations with my daughter several times a day, but with my son, I’m lucky if we exchange one message—or one and a half—once every few weeks, and even then there’s no expression on his face… I can’t remember ever having more than two exchanges.
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I’m Joe, a male member.
I didn’t answer your previous question, but I found the whole series of events fascinating, especially as I reflected on my own dating experiences. If I may, I’d like to respond based on my modest experience.
Joe’s motto is, “I don’t turn away those who come, and I don’t chase those who leave.” It sounds incredibly cool, but of course, that’s not really the case. The reality is quite different: “I can’t turn someone away even when I want to, and I can’t chase them even when I want to.” In situations like that, the deciding factor—broadly speaking—is affection. Even when money is the foundation of the relationship, I can continue seeing someone if I can feel their affection.
Let me explain it a little more clearly. If someone accepts and appreciates not only Joe’s wallet—which is by no means thick—but also Joe’s personality, we can grow close.
I understand that you’re very fond of the man you’re seeing. My guess is that he forgave you precisely because he could feel your affection for him as well.
I hope your relationship continues to be peaceful and fulfilling.
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