This is a sexual topic. I can’t orgasm through penetration with a partner.

I’m Rin, a female member. Is orgasming from penetration really that important? I feel like what satisfies each person can be different. To the person who asked: Don’t worry—you don’t need to spend a fortune on an elective treatment whose effectiveness hasn’t even been proven just because you’re concerned about that. Please use that money for something more worthwhile.

I’m Kazu, a male member who joined the conversation late. As others have mentioned, relatively few women orgasm from penetration, and even those who do apparently can’t necessarily do so with just anyone, so I don’t worry about it at all. Fixating on that would only put pressure on the woman, and it doesn’t seem like either of us would enjoy it. Instead, I get the sense of fulfillment I’m looking for by helping her climax or feel good in other ways. Besides, I don’t think a woman’s orgasm is as important to her as men tend to assume. On the other hand, women seem to assume that “men want to penetrate and ejaculate,” while I find it burdensome when a woman pressures me to penetrate or tries to make me climax. It’s frustrating that neither men nor women fully understand what the opposite sex wants. Personally, I think I’d value a woman who’s happy to explore all kinds of intimacy with me more than someone who can orgasm from penetration. I probably wouldn’t get bored with her as easily, and I’d want to treat her well.

Universe Tokyo’s Mamiya here. I was impressed by how strongly you want to experience an orgasm through penetration. That might actually be the reason. It’s not something you can achieve simply by trying harder and harder. That’s the path of an ascetic monk. Once men move past that ascetic mindset, they too start seeking sex that isn’t focused on reaching orgasm. There’s this general belief that orgasming through penetration is better than orgasming externally, isn’t there? Men may also have the desire to see a woman climax from their own body rather than from a vibrator. And then there are questions like, “What happens between two women? Does that even count as sex?” and so on. It’s all an illusion. Don’t obsess over finding the right answer. If you let go of your fixation, you may begin to see the light. (Laughs) Thinking that you must climax through sex is an arrogant idea! For now, I think the important thing is to relax without overthinking it. Rather than tensing up and trying to reach climax, simply enjoying sex wholeheartedly may resonate with your partner and lead to an even deeper sense of pleasure.

I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s office, and I’ll answer too. > I can’t climax from penetration, and it’s been bothering me for a long time. It seems many women worry about not being able to climax from penetration, but I don’t often hear of someone who has even gone so far as to get examined by a gynecologist. So I imagine this is something you’re taking very seriously. > I’m worried my papa will get bored with me and think I’m no fun because I can’t climax from penetration… I don’t think you need to worry about that. In the first place, I doubt men can really tell whether a woman has climaxed or not. Some men may say they can, though. Whether you climax from penetration or not doesn’t make that big a difference. If you’re worried, you might even consider faking it. If you say, “I came,” there’s no benefit to denying it afterward, so things will probably just continue as they are. > By the way, I can climax when masturbating with a rotary massager or vibrator. > I can feel something with TENGA’s vibrator made for sex, but I can’t climax. When you say TENGA’s vibrator, do you mean Iroha? I’m not quite sure why you distinguish it from ordinary vibrators, but TENGA’s vibrators have a sleek design, so perhaps they don’t make contact with the spots that feel best for you. The same may be true when it comes to a man’s anatomy. In another recent answer, Romane wrote: “Very rarely—maybe one in ten—there are cases where the fit between the凸 and凹 is unbelievably perfect. The glans of the凸 catches exactly on the most sensitive spot of the凹 and rubs against it just right. You’re like, ‘How is that even possible? No ordinary person could do that…’” So perhaps you simply haven’t yet met someone whose shape happens to line up with yours perfectly. Maybe it’s one in a thousand?

I’m a male member from Seattle. I figure only about half of women orgasm from penetration, so I keep things transactional, stimulate the clitoris during sex, and consider it good enough if she orgasms externally.

I’m Hikoki, a male member. Since most people will only ever meet one or two partners in their lifetime who can orgasm vaginally, I don’t think it’s something you need to worry about much. There was a previous question about compatibility, but when it comes to vaginal orgasms, the odds are even lower—probably well below single digits. I imagine there are more women who never experience one in their entire lives. It’s not something men need to be particularly concerned about either. It’s not like men are that interested in it. That said, if you can achieve vaginal orgasms together, there’s no better kind of compatibility. A “magic” vagina and sexual compatibility are separate things, even if the man experiences pleasure. But when it comes to vaginal orgasms— As mentioned in the previous question, where simply eating together can lead to arousal, you also need the kind of compatibility where you can feel each other from just three seconds of touching while fully clothed, or where simply embracing each other gets you both excited. Encounters like that are extremely rare in themselves. The areas where a woman feels pleasure inside the vagina are also important—in my case, at least. I’ve never had a woman who mainly feels pleasure in the front areas, such as the clitoris, vaginal entrance, or G-spot, experience a vaginal orgasm. With women like that, the focus is naturally on stimulation near the entrance, so it’s difficult to bring them to the point of almost having a vaginal orgasm. Since they orgasm from clitoral and front-area stimulation, a vaginal orgasm is difficult even when they’re enjoying themselves. But that doesn’t mean there’s any need to force them to change how they experience pleasure or what feels good to them. That’s just how it has been in my experience, and there may be other patterns. Having vaginal orgasms can be a wonderful sign of compatibility, but I don’t think it should be given too much weight. It simply means that, by chance, your compatibility was that strong. I don’t think it necessarily determines the quality of the relationship or how satisfied the two of you are.

I’m Tetsu, a male member. Is orgasming from penetration really that important? I don’t think you’ll be dumped just because you don’t orgasm that way. If you’re satisfied with your current sex life, I think it’s fine to leave things as they are. If you’re worried about your partner losing interest, you could also talk to your papa (a male supporter) about not orgasming from penetration. He’ll probably try even harder than before（笑).