Male members, do you make your profiles public?

This is Mamiya from Universe Tokyo. I don’t really think there’s been an increase in the number of male members who make their profiles public. It just so happened that this woman’s first match was with a man who had a public profile, which probably made her feel more at ease. Even now, I believe most male members still don’t want to make their profiles public. There are also many female members who don’t properly check whether a man has a public profile. When the profile feature was first introduced, I remember receiving quite a few complaints from men saying that their profiles hadn’t been properly conveyed after a date. What kind of woman refuses someone before even receiving an offer? I think it’s just as well that you didn’t meet her.

I’m Saito, a column writer♪ It’s public, you know. I even get offers from women.

I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member. I’ve set my profile so that only women I’ve made offers to can view it. In my case, I’ve had women turn me down after seeing my profile. Maybe they saw that I’d gone into detail about myself and listed something like my terms for the arrangement, and decided I was “too much trouble and a cheapskate!”

Maezawa from the President’s Office here. When you combine men who make their profiles visible to all women with those who show them only to women they’ve made an offer to, about 70% of men currently have public profiles. Also, if a woman says she feels uneasy when there’s no profile, our staff will let the man know. He’ll usually hurry to create one and make it visible only to the woman he offered, then share it with her. In most cases, that’s enough to arrange a meeting. However, if you firmly refused to provide a profile, some women may hesitate to meet someone like that. Even after meeting, you may come across as inflexible in many situations, and there’s also a possibility that you would stubbornly push for an allowance below what she was asking for. In that sense, I don’t understand why you didn’t choose to make your profile visible only to the woman you offered. Even if you compromised on that point, I don’t think it would have any real impact on your life. Arrangements involve people, not objects. You also need to be considerate of the other person. Rather than being so rigid, I think it would be better to make your profile visible only to the woman you offered, with the attitude of, “So what if she sees my profile? We’d end up talking about these things anyway if we started seeing each other.” Your attitude may have made the other person more wary, so showing your profile now might not help. Going forward, though, I think you should be able to respond promptly when needed. You need enough flexibility and consideration to quickly judge whether something the other person asks of you is actually possible.

I’m Rin, a female member. Even if a member’s profile isn’t publicly visible, when making an offer, the staff will provide details such as her age, overall vibe, hobbies, and comments. Of course, it’s different if photos are posted on the profile, but as I remember it, there wasn’t a significant difference in the information available from the profile and the staff’s comments. If there was anything I wanted to know, I asked the staff. They answered if they could, and if something couldn’t be disclosed, they simply told me so. Personally, I didn’t find it particularly concerning, but younger people or those who’ve had unpleasant experiences may feel differently.

I’m Kazu, a male member. I make my profile—including my photos—visible only to women I send offers to. I figure women feel more at ease if they can learn something about the person who contacted them. Some women read my profile carefully, which means I don’t have to do all the talking just to break the ice during the date. If I focus too much on asking about the woman herself, she may feel like she’s being interrogated and become guarded. So my profile also serves as an opening for her to ask me about myself to a reasonable extent. I’d say about half the time, I get the feeling that she has read my profile before the date. With online dates, though, it doesn’t seem like they have. When I first started, I would ask women whether they had looked at my profile when I sent them an offer, and whether offers from other men included profiles. I wanted their feedback so I could improve my own profile. Of the few women I asked, all of them said they had looked at my profile. However, there have also been cases since then where I felt they hadn’t read it, so it doesn’t seem like everyone does. As for offers from men who have written profiles, I remember hearing that, depending on the woman, the percentage varied, but roughly speaking, somewhere between one-third and half of the men had profiles.

I’m a male member, paper airplane. That’s unusual. Not by age, but through your profile… I don’t want to make anything public, so my profile has remained unchanged since I joined. I’m not concerned about whether it’s visible or not. Even if it is, I haven’t written anything in it, so it makes no difference.