I’m a Type B female member. What goes through the minds of people who insult you and still think they can date you?

Universe Tokyo, Mamiya here. If being put down gets under your skin, maybe it’s because they hit a nerve—or because it’s something you’re already sensitive about. If someone says, “Your mom’s got a belly button that sticks out!” you might just laugh it off. But if you really did have an outie and felt insecure about it, it might sting. It might also be worth taking a look at whether you judge men based on their income, title, height, age, hometown, and so on. I agree that the terms of the arrangement are important, but you can’t change the other person. If you change your perspective sooner rather than later, you won’t have to waste your vitamin C!! The person standing in front of you is your own reflection. Once you wipe away the fog, that person will probably disappear too...

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. There are several different mindsets behind putting other people down, but they’re often along these lines: - Wanting to establish superiority and show that they’re above others. - Believing that the person in the lower position is naturally expected to be considerate (because they themselves are used to sucking up to people above them). In short: - “You’re beneath me, so you should cater to me.” Unfortunately, there are quite a lot of people who think this way. ^^ There’s no real way to deal with them, so it’s best to keep your distance.

I’m BB7, a male member. > Do men really put you down over things like your height, birth year, or especially your blood type? I’m not sure what exactly he said to make you feel belittled, but it’s possible he didn’t intend it that way. For example, if someone says, “AB types are weird, aren’t they?” Some people might take “weird” to mean unique—in a good way—while others might interpret it as “not normal” and feel insulted. The meaning of words can change depending on how the listener takes them. If you already have a complex about something, you may be more likely to feel put down. That said, if he’s the kind of man whose words or behavior would make all 100 out of 100 people think, “This guy is insulting me,” then he’s probably just a pathetic man living by those values. You often see this type among small-town delinquents: they can’t give compliments, so even when they like someone, they resort to putting them down or making fun of them—the classic emotionally immature type. They believe they’re always right, pick apart other people’s flaws, and want to maintain their sense of superiority. Men who complain, “I can’t date her—she lied about her type!” may well be this kind of person.

I’m Rin, a female member. I’m still amazed that some people judge others based on something like their blood type. It’s environmental factors that have the greatest influence on who a person becomes. Besides, blood types can even change sometimes… Either way, he sounds like a narrow-minded, uncool person. And yes, as someone mentioned in the answers, I’ve also had people criticize me for being a member of a dating club. “Why would someone like you…” → What do you know about me? “Why are you in a place like this?” → Why not? It’s a wonderful place. “Why don’t you quit?” → Because I want to meet people other than someone like you. This person told me, “This isn’t a place for someone like you, where people come looking for money like a middle schooler’s allowance. You should shine somewhere you can really thrive. You shouldn’t be in a place like this.” And yet, in the same breath, he spoke to me in a very patronizing way, asking me to accept his “love” and become “his,” while offering less than a middle schooler’s allowance. He also sent me a bullet-pointed list of demands, so I turned him down more firmly than usual. I’m normally not someone who gets angry, but even I found myself thinking, “Are you out of your mind?” The man in the question can be dismissed with, “Are you out of your mind?” too.

Maezawa from the CEO’s office here—I’ll answer this too. > Your birth year, and especially your blood type I think it’s actually harder to disparage someone based on their birth year. For example, there’s the year known as Hinoeuma. There’s a superstition that women born in a Hinoeuma year are hot-tempered and shorten their husbands’ lives. Because people tried not to have children that year (in reality, they specifically tried to avoid having girls), the actual birth rate dropped dramatically that year alone. That shows just how many people believed the superstition. Still, I don’t think bringing up that superstition necessarily means someone is insulting you. Having a strong temper could also be interpreted positively today—as being a woman who can make her mark. It’s possible he was simply talking about that sort of thing, while she took it as an insult, leaving him surprised. The same goes for blood types. Someone might say, “You’re type AB, so you must have this kind of personality,” for example. They may not intend to put you down at all. Blood types might just have happened to be an easy topic of conversation. If that’s the case, the man doesn’t mean to insult her, but she ends up feeling insulted. So when the topic comes up, I think it would be best to immediately say that you don’t like fortune-telling–type conversations about blood types or birth years. You could say something like, “I feel uncomfortable when people talk that way because it feels like they’re trying to fit me into a stereotype.” The man is also making the offer because he wants to get to know you better, so that would probably make things happier for both of you. That said, it is a little strange how many people bring up blood types and birth years. Normally, I wouldn’t think those topics came up that often. Maybe people are mentioning them in the comments?

I’m Kaz, a shy male member who isn’t good at giving compliments, so the most I can usually say is that I’m happy to see her. I once heard from a female member that her date had lectured her, asking why on earth she had signed up for a dating club, which was ridiculous enough—but I’d never heard of anyone taking it that far. And especially bringing up blood type… Is he all right in the head? The fact that this has been happening “quite often lately” means there have been several men like that, right? I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with them. Some people have a habit of trying to gain the upper hand over others in their own minds. If the things they used to put you down were your height, birth year, and blood type, perhaps you could look at it as meaning they couldn’t find anything else to criticize. I’ve never even paid attention to any of those things. The only time blood type ever came up was once when I was diligently skimming the scum off a hot pot, haha. Come to think of it, that female member also told me there seemed to be a pattern in the occupations of these strange men. She said she felt lucky that day because I wasn’t in either of those two professions. Why not analyze the profile patterns of these unpleasant male members and use that as a basis for deciding whether to accept their offers? Wait, can female members actually decline an offer? After posting this, I realized that saying I had “never even paid attention to height” wasn’t quite true. It happened twice. Once, a woman in a swimsuit looked quite curvy, so I checked her weight and height on her profile. Another time, a different woman wore high heels on our date, and I was privately surprised, thinking, “Oh, was she really this tall?” I stand corrected.

Today, my wife told me, “You’re insanely positive. You’re going to live to be 200.” I’m Paper Airplane, a male member. You’re paying money to meet the woman you’ve been hoping to meet, and then not complimenting her? Normally, you’d compliment her—and keep complimenting her. You’d put some thought into how to make sure she knows you’re genuinely happy and pleased to have met her, because it would be a waste if she thought you were just flattering her or being polite… That said, it’s also true that if you’re not genuinely happy, those kinds of words probably won’t come out naturally. Also, it’s possible the man didn’t intend to put you down. You might try gently telling him that you feel uncomfortable, with something like, “It feels like I’m being scolded…” > He repeatedly criticized things I have no control over, like my height, birth year, and especially my blood type. I’m not quite sure what you mean by him criticizing those things. Is it possible that he was trying to give you advice for your own benefit—perhaps after analyzing things or thinking about your future? When older men talk, depending on the way they speak, it can sometimes sound like they’re warning you or scolding you. Maybe that was part of it too…