A question for the female members.

Universe Tokyo’s Mamiya here with an answer. There’s a certain hunting instinct involved in trying to win over someone with Dating Type A. You know, like the boy who teases the girl he likes in class! The way she acts a little annoyed may be irresistible to someone with stalker tendencies. Also, if you’re firmly set on being Dating Type A yourself, make sure you don’t show any signs of wavering.

I’m Rin, a female member. Even just reading his messages, doesn’t he come across as a seriously clingy, creepy old guy? “Just touching~” Yeah, right. If even a small part of your gut is screaming red flag, you should walk away. Of course, I’m sure there are gentlemen who genuinely say they’d be happy just holding hands. But this is my response to this particular man.

I’m Seattle, a male member who has only two adult relationships and eats dinner every day with lots of A-type partners. I wasn’t asked, but I’ll share my thoughts anyway as a male member: whether a trip without an adult relationship can work probably depends on the person. Thinking back, 25 years ago, I went on an overnight trip to Kinosaki with the woman I later married on our third date, without doing anything. I had somehow gotten an affordable travel voucher and didn’t want it to go to waste, so I invited my soon-to-be ex-wife, whom I’d met just a week earlier. I’m still amazed she actually came. Well, we only shared a bed, but she came to trust me, and a year and a half later we happily got married. We divorced 15 years after that, though. I’ve also taken a two-night trip with someone I met through Universe as an A-type partner. However, it was after we’d had dinner together more than ten times and more than six months had passed. We ate delicious food and had a wonderful time. There was also a stay at the MiraCosta at Tokyo Disney, where things went only as far as petting; a hot-spring trip with a virgin where I kept things, as promised, just short of an adult relationship; and trips where I didn’t touch her at all. I’ve had various experiences. In your case, since an overseas trip would be lengthy and it would be harder to leave, exercising restraint is the wise choice. For a domestic trip, though, I think it may be worth considering. If he seems like the type to try to let things gradually slide into something more, make the terms of the arrangement clear in advance, and refuse unless he offers additional compensation you’re comfortable with.

I’m Hikōki, a male member. Speaking as a man, I—and some men I know—could go without touching her at all, even after hundreds of meetings or an overnight stay. But that only works if you’re genuinely satisfied and don’t have the mindset of worrying about being disliked. With a club, though, there’s an allowance involved, and even if she dislikes you, you can simply move on to the next woman… so you might assume she’s prepared for that too. Thinking about it that way… It does seem possible, and it makes me want to try it… Staying overnight and still doing nothing?? With a club, I honestly can’t imagine it any other way… That said, even at a club, if she’s Type A, I wouldn’t say something like that by the third meeting.

I’m Kazu, a male member who wasn’t invited to answer. The reason I’m chiming in is that, in my twenties, I had three separate experiences with women where we traveled abroad together and shared a room despite not having an intimate relationship, only to return home after having fun without doing anything—and then get yelled at. Even though I was a sex-crazed guy in my twenties, looking back, I was afraid of being rejected, so I couldn’t make a move on the woman sleeping in the bed next to mine. I convinced myself that sharing a room meant it was practically the same as sleeping together, and that was enough to satisfy me. Looking back, I was such a warped person. I’m sorry to those women. These days, though, I’m registered with a dating club and spend my days and nights looking for people to make offers to. If I succeed in bringing someone back to my room, I always try to have sex. There’s a reason I’m answering. I figured there probably aren’t any female members here who are dating without an adult relationship (intimacy). It would feel lonely if no one answered, right? So I was reminded of the mistakes I made in the past and decided to speak up. This may not be the answer you were hoping to hear, but I’ll answer as if I were in your position. I absolutely wouldn’t accept. As I wrote at the beginning, even with women around my age whom I met naturally—not through a dating club—and with whom the relationship was much more innocent, I still took “staying overnight” to mean “having sex” 100% of the time. (The sample size was three during overseas trips and two during stays at nearby hot-spring inns.) There’s no way a male dating-club member who’s paying an allowance wouldn’t assume that staying overnight means sex is on the table. P.S. A new hot-spring-inn story has come up, and yes, I also have two experiences where women got angry because I didn’t slip into the futon next to theirs at the inn. In one case, the woman even brought her female friend along and I was ganged up on. I guess women get angry when you don’t make a move at the time you’re supposed to. Everyone expressed it differently, though. P.P.S. Oh, and I recently made an offer to an A-type woman, but our date is still some time away. So for now, I have no experience dating an A-type woman. Of course, I won’t have sex without consent, and I have no intention of suggesting “just touching,” either. I think repeatedly asking an A-type woman for anything beyond tea or a meal would make her uncomfortable, so I plan to say just once at the beginning, “I won’t bring it up myself, but if you ever feel comfortable taking things further, please let me know.”

Maezawa from the CEO’s office here. The man knows that you’re a Type A—meaning no intimacy—but he’s still trying to win you over. He probably thinks that if he keeps meeting you, you’ll eventually open up and the relationship might become intimate. That’s why he likely suggested getting closer over dinner first, and then moving on to just touching as the next step. By the way, if he said it would only be touching, then I think that’s all he intended to do that day. Since he’s taking his time getting close to you, I doubt he would have pushed for anything more on that occasion. However, once things progress that far, he’ll probably start suggesting going further the next time you meet. If it’s an overseas business trip, you’ll likely be sharing a room, so I think he’ll pressure you. If you’re not confident you can handle that situation, it may be better not to go. If you are confident you can avoid it, you should confirm before you leave that you absolutely won’t have an intimate relationship, and ask whether he’s still okay with that. In other words, make your boundaries clear in advance. Even so, he’ll probably make a move that day (lol), so you’ll need to be skilled at deflecting him.