A follow-up question about the length of dates for dinner-only arrangements.

I’m Saito, a column writer ♪ With the woman I met recently, we had tea for an hour, and I gave her 50,000 yen. I wanted to end things quickly, so I gave her a little extra. There are people like that, too. P.S. Completely unrelated, but for the first time, I had someone open the envelope and count the money right in front of me. lol Maybe checking the amount in front of the other person is standard, but it didn’t feel very pleasant… I found myself wondering if she’d been deceived by someone before. Apparently that wasn’t the reason, but she ended up being rated poorly, which made me feel a little sad.

I’m a male member, Basil. Whenever I communicate with the branch office or make an offer, the following note is always included: > ※ At the interview, we tell women that the first date is expected to last around four hours. Personally, I think four hours is too long for a first date without an adult relationship (intimate). I have no objection to two hours for dinner plus another two hours of optional, mutually consensual private time. However, the wording could easily lead men who see it to mistakenly believe that they are required to spend four hours together. Wouldn’t it be better to change the wording? As with paying transportation expenses in advance, it also feels like the head office’s intentions may not be reaching the staff handling things on the ground.

I’m Rin, a female member. I’m a B, but we had such a good time and got so caught up in conversation that it lasted four or five hours. If it had been painful, it might have become an unpleasant memory, but I also enjoyed the meals with men I ultimately didn’t pursue, so I’m glad. The men who ended things early said things like, “I like you and would like to see you this way. The allowance would be this much. Please, I really hope you’ll agree. But since you’re a B, I’ll wait for your answer.” I guess it really does depend on the person. If you’re a B and only want two hours for the first meeting, you should probably say so upfront—but the gentleman may be disappointed.

I’m Meg, a female member. For girls who are trying to “get money out of men” or “make money,” wouldn’t being tied up for four hours for ¥5,000 be the kind of arrangement they’d decide not to pursue again? > “Give an additional amount as a discretionary token of appreciation.” That approach should be fine. That said, I think you also need to be considerate so she doesn’t feel like she was simply kept there for those four hours.

I’m Aizawa, sub-chief at Universe Club Tokyo, and I’ll answer as well. As Maezawa has mostly explained, there’s also a chance you may go for another drink at a bar, so when accepting an offer, we ask you to keep four hours available. Of course, if you don’t hit it off over dinner, you can part ways after just the two-hour meal. However, it’s not acceptable to only leave two hours free from the outset.

Maezawa from the club’s office will answer as well. > In case B, the initial understanding is that there will be no adult relationship (intimate). But if, after the meal, the man wants to have tea, go to a bar, or do something else unrelated to an adult relationship, is the woman not allowed to refuse? As I mentioned in my previous answer, tea, going to a bar, and similar activities after the meal are considered “free dating,” unlike the club-arranged meal. Since it’s free dating, it’s entirely up to both of you whether to invite the other person and whether to accept the invitation. For example, if the woman says she would like 5,000 yen per hour to accompany the man to a bar after dinner, but he doesn’t want to pay an allowance, she can simply go home at that point because your expectations didn’t match. So even if the man wants to continue spending time together, the woman is free to decline. That’s what “free dating” means. > In that case, should I understand that any thank-you payment is included in the 5,000–10,000 yen transportation fee given at the beginning? Since it’s free dating, it isn’t included. That said, I think many women would still be willing to spend additional time together without receiving a separate allowance. Ultimately, it’s about two people getting to know each other. If she feels she’d like to know you a little better, there are women who would be happy to have a drink with you without expecting an allowance. > In the past, I spent four hours with a woman over dinner alone, and we had such a good time that I voluntarily gave her an additional thank-you payment. I hope you’ll continue meeting women with that same attitude. The rules are simply minimum guidelines that have been put in place. What matters most is how you feel about the other person. P.S. Regarding whether checking the amount in front of the other person is a rule: I didn’t specifically say “in front of her,” but I did say “at the time,” so essentially, yes. We’ve also been telling women that it’s a good idea to say something like, “The club instructed me to make sure to check it at the time.” This can be a difficult situation, though. Apparently, there have been cases where a woman later claimed that an envelope was empty. Then the man says he put the money in, while the woman says it wasn’t there, leaving the club unable to determine who was at fault. That’s why we firmly instruct women to check the contents of the envelope “without fail” and “at the time.” The rule is also for men to be told that women have received this instruction, but perhaps the staff sometimes forgets to mention it when men join. I understand that men may not like having the money checked in front of them, but since the club instructs women to do this, I hope you can accept that it’s simply unavoidable.

I’m Paper Airplane, a male member. For me, I decide as soon as we meet how long I want us to spend together—whether it’s an hour, two hours, or four to five hours—and how much money I’ll give her, including any extra. With Type B, it’s also important to show a woman you like how you feel by giving her an allowance within what you can afford. Wanting to spend more time together means you like her, and if you’re compatible, her type may not matter as much anyway.