If someone didn’t mention any tattoos or scars in their profile—or wrote “Tattoos/scars: none”—but you noticed during a date that they had a tattoo or self-harm scars, how would you react or handle it?

Maezawa from Shacho-shitsu here, answering as well. There’s a section on the application form asking whether someone has tattoos, and I believe we also ask about it during the interview. As for self-harm scars, I think we ask something along the lines of, “Do you have any scars on your body?” So I believe applicants are expected to disclose them at that point. However, we don’t have them undress for an examination. If the person doesn’t disclose it themselves, it won’t be listed on their profile, and the staff won’t know about it either. As for self-harm scars… I understand why some men may be hesitant, since being in a relationship with someone who has them can be challenging. But if they meet in person and really like her, I think it’s also okay to be open-minded about that and have enough emotional leeway to embrace the challenges. Ultimately, it comes down to personal preference, so I think it’s fine for everyone to decide for themselves.

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. Just ignore self-harm scars, and compliment tattoos by saying, “They’re cute.” That’s about all I can think of ^^;

I’m Kazu, a male member. Tattoos don’t bother me at all, so I probably wouldn’t even notice whether one was mentioned in her profile. As a result, I likely wouldn’t give any feedback about it either. If it were an interesting tattoo or in an especially daring location, I might bring it up in conversation. As for self-harm scars, I know some girls end up doing it as teenagers because their friends were doing it and they just got caught up in the atmosphere, but it still makes me a little uncomfortable. So if it were mentioned in her profile, I probably wouldn’t ask her out unless she seemed exceptionally appealing. I’m sure I’d notice if it wasn’t mentioned in her profile. In that case, I probably wouldn’t say anything to her about it. I would likely leave feedback, though. However, if I were extremely satisfied with the date, I might feel bad about leaving negative feedback for someone I liked and end up forgetting to submit feedback altogether. As an aside: Regarding girls who did it because their friends were doing it and they just got caught up in the atmosphere, when I used to run a nightlife business, there were a few employees who said exactly that. I find the idea of self-harm as a fashion statement difficult to understand, but I suppose there are all kinds of people in the world. Of course, there were also girls who did it because they were genuinely struggling. I do think that “my friend is doing it, so I will too” can also be a sign of emotional instability, though.

I’m Paper Airplane, a male club member. For some reason, I also end up dating club women who have self-harm scars. Some have them on one arm, some on both, and sometimes the scars have visibly increased by the time we meet. I don’t say anything myself, but the women usually explain their situation. They were all pure-hearted and, if anything, kind by nature. I’m still seeing some of them. I’d never thought of self-harm scars as being included among “scars.” I do wish tattoos would be listed in advance on their profiles. Of course, it depends on the size, and I don’t mind a little misrepresentation if it’s within reason. But when everything—the tattoos, occupation, smoking, and where they live—is false, it’s tough, because their behavior tends to be like that too.

I’m Aizawa, Sub-Chief at Universe Club Tokyo, and I’d like to answer with a request. Please let the Club know through the questionnaire or another channel. When asked during the interview whether they have any, some people answer, “No,” so I’d like to keep this on record as useful information. Tattoos have become more fashionable recently, and I imagine some people get them after their interview. However, if self-harm scars have increased since the interview, it makes me more concerned that they may still be struggling, and many people are sensitive to this issue. I’d appreciate it if you could let us know. Everyone reacts differently, but if it were me, I probably wouldn’t say anything out loud, though my face might say, “Wow…”