I’m a male member, and I always enjoy reading this site.

I’m a male member in Seattle. Women have a huge advantage in the dating world, so I imagine many feel that replying means they’ve somehow lost. Statistically, nothing good comes from dealing with women who take a long time to respond. You’re better off canceling and moving on to the next person. They often end up leaving the site a few days later anyway. Maybe they were never very motivated to begin with, perhaps because they were seeing someone else. It can’t be helped. Male members who write creepy profiles need to reflect on their behavior.

I’m Fuu, a column writer. In my experience, girls who respond quickly tend to be proactive about papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) too, and there’s a good chance they’re also enthusiastic about H. On the other hand, girls who cancel on the day have usually also been slow to respond, now that I think about it. They’re young, and everyone has different attitudes and ways of thinking, so I don’t think slow replies will ever disappear completely. In my case, GOLD is my main platform, but I actually get really excited when someone responds very quickly to an offer. I head to the meeting with certain parts of me swelling with anticipation ^_^ Twenty minutes is incredibly fast, so I think there’s a good chance she’s a great girl. Sounds exciting!

Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here. >Why does this happen? There’s really no helping it sometimes. I’ll tell you the truth. Either you don’t have a profile, or you’ve written something strange in it. That’s not the only possible reason, but these days, most people set their profiles so that the person they’re contacting can view them. When someone hasn’t done that, women feel uneasy too. And when they feel uneasy, they’re less inclined to reply. Naturally, their replies may also be delayed. Also, women may hesitate when someone writes things like wanting an adult relationship (intimate) from the very first day, or other incomprehensible things. Some people even write that and then make an offer for B, which makes no sense. That said, it’s also quite common for the profile not to be the issue at all—for example, their phone got waterlogged and they had to get a new LINE account, so the message never reached them. There can be all sorts of reasons, so in this case, I think it would be best to tell her something like, “Please let me know if you hear from him,” and have offers made to other women as well. Even if someone is registered, various things can happen.

Mamiya from Universe Club Tokyo here. My condolences to the male member. Sorry, that came out wrong. The fact that the date was confirmed just 20 minutes after the offer was made is practically a miracle in itself. Normally, arrangements are finalized within half a day to two days, and about 20% of women are extremely slow to respond. Then there are cases where they suddenly stop replying altogether. Why something so simple can’t go smoothly is a daily headache for us—the women’s response times!!! I’m also the type who doesn’t always carry my phone in my personal life, so my friends get mad at me. I can understand how they feel. That said, there’s really no reason not to reply, so if waiting is too stressful, I think it’s better for your own peace of mind to move on to another candidate rather than overthink it. I hope you find someone whose views on communication and response times are a good match for yours.

I’m Kazu, a male member. I once had a woman get back to me two and a half days later, saying she could make time a few hours after that (lol). If the staff have told you, “She still hasn’t replied,” then it’s probably just taking her a while to get back to you. It seems some women are highly motivated to participate in the club, while others aren’t—and those with low motivation tend to reply slowly. As for the woman who contacted me a few hours after that two-and-a-half-day delay, she’s also difficult to reach after a date. It’s normal for her to leave my messages unread for over a week, so I assume her motivation is low. I agree with Aizawa from the staff as well. Even if you manage to get a date with a woman who has low motivation, she’ll still be unmotivated afterward, so it usually doesn’t lead anywhere. Unless she’s your absolute dream woman—the perfect match you’d regret missing out on—you’re probably better off forgetting her quickly and avoiding wasting your time and effort. Some women probably let a huge number of unread LINE messages pile up. Unread messages stress me out, so I just read them right away.

Universe Club Tokyo Sub-Chief Aizawa here with an answer as well. I’m truly sorry to say this, but it does happen from time to time. Once we receive an offer, we contact the woman by LINE or email and wait for her response. Some reply right away, while others may take longer because of work or other commitments. That’s why the agreement also states that she should respond as soon as possible, and no later than within half a day. However, there are occasions when we receive no reply—perhaps her phone is broken, she hasn’t been able to settle on a date, or she simply overlooked the message. In such cases, our staff will try contacting her another way the following day, such as sending an SMS or calling. If there is still no response, we would generally conclude that she isn’t very motivated. Even if you go on a date with someone like that, it’s unlikely to lead to another meeting, so we would appreciate it if you would consider someone else.

I’m a male member, Paper Airplane. There are certainly cases where you find yourself anxiously waiting for a reply. The person who replied in the shortest time—within just a few dozen minutes, as mentioned in the question—was the only one who ended up standing me up on the day itself, without even the staff being able to reach her. Thanks to that experience, I’ve learned to wait for replies with more peace of mind. Of the women I’ve made offers to, there were three whose ratings dropped because they took a long time to respond. Two of them had already received lower ratings while I was waiting. One was completely hopeless—she seemed to treat the club casually and not take it seriously. Despite that, she still messages me on LINE around New Year’s and every month asking, “When can we meet? Can we meet this month?” I have no desire to see her again. I suppose no one ever tells her anything about the things they dislike or her attitude. The other two are still seeing me. One had only just joined but was away visiting family, so it was difficult to arrange a schedule. The other had a gentle, laid-back personality, and men tended to either be very compatible with her or not get along with her at all. Neither was the type who would get along with every man. They both had their quirks, and compared with other women, they were more guarded and cautious, which also tended to make them slower to make decisions. These traits show up in their everyday comments and actions—sometimes as wariness, sometimes as natural absent-mindedness. Whether you see that as a quirk, something within your acceptable range, or even something cute depends on how well you come to understand each other. I think that’s also part of compatibility. Once they start to open up, the woman can feel more at ease, and the relationship can progress in the true sense of dating through a relationship club. If you can become someone irreplaceable to her, it seems that she naturally becomes less focused on making offers and frees herself from the pressure of constantly searching for “a good person.” On the other hand, women with four- or five-star ratings have no obvious shortcomings, from replying promptly to how they behave after the relationship begins. Which type is better really depends on what you’re looking for.