I’m a female member. Is there no deadline for male members to reply to messages?
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Here’s the background: When I received an offer from a man, I sent him four possible dates. However, even after five days—and then a week—I still hadn’t received a reply, so a staff member told me to put everything on hold. (Two of the dates I suggested were about a month away.)
Because everything was put on hold, I ended up missing out on offers from other people several times. The man in question showed no sign of making plans, and it was very frustrating.
If the dates don’t work for him, he could simply decline, and I wish the staff would respond more flexibly—for example, by starting over temporarily.
Female members are expected to reply to the club within half a day (if I remember correctly), but is there no similar rule for male members? Or is there no plan to introduce one?
Aizawa, Sub-Chief at Universe Club Tokyo, here.
“On hold” is a somewhat ambiguous way of putting it…
I’m sorry for the inconvenience.
There isn’t a specific deadline for replying, but we do follow up from time to time and contact you to ask when you think you’ll be able to make a decision, so we can set a response deadline.
In this case, though, I assume we probably didn’t receive a reply from you. That may be why we said something along the lines of, “If you hear back while it’s on hold, we can reschedule!”
For example, if you receive an offer from someone else, you could let us know, “Those are dates I’ve also offered to [Mr./Ms. XX], but I’m available on this date.” In some cases, our staff may be able to coordinate things and finalize the arrangement.
We’re sorry for the trouble, but we’d appreciate it if you could try this in similar situations.
Thank you for your understanding.
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Mamiya from Universe Club Tokyo here.
It’s true that receiving an offer is very valuable for women, so we ask them to respond within half a day. Since men are the ones making the offer, there may be an imbalance of power that gives them a little more flexibility when it comes to scheduling.
That said, we certainly didn’t intend to keep you waiting that long—you understandably can’t make plans this way. We sincerely apologize.
When the club said, “It’s been put on hold,” I believe that was ultimately the club’s decision because the man never responded. It also suggests that if he does reply, they would still like to coordinate the schedule.
I’m sure you were tempted to simply say, “Then let’s cancel,” but we won’t ask you to keep waiting indefinitely.
You’re free to release the time you had set aside.
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I’m a male member, Paper Airplane.
That’s frustrating. At the very least, you’d want a response within two or three days as to whether it might be possible.
Also, from the man’s perspective, if you only have four possible dates available and two of them are more than a month away, he may worry that even if you go on a first date, it’ll be difficult to arrange the next one. So offering dates up to around 10 days to two weeks out might be better.
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I’m Maezawa from the President’s Office, and I’ll answer this as well.
I probably didn’t use the word “on hold” very well. What I meant was that the offer itself had been put on hold, so you were free to make other plans for the dates we had discussed.
Sorry for the confusing wording.
If we wanted you to keep your schedule open, I believe we would have said something like, “Please keep those dates open and wait for our reply.”
By the way, there’s no set deadline for the men to respond, but our staff also don’t like leaving things hanging, so we check in periodically to ask how things are going.
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