This is Mac, one of the respondents.

I’m Flagmaker, a columnist. 【Kissing is a no-go; an adult relationship is okay】 That’s something I’d decide depending on her circumstances and how attractive I find her. On the other hand: 【Kissing is okay; an adult relationship is a no-go】 The other day, a woman who had left the club soon after joining because she couldn’t do adult relationships asked me for some financial help. “Hmm, I wonder where this is going,” I thought excitedly, and happily agreed. Then she replied, “What would you like in return?” Thinking, “Here we go,” I answered: “Se*x!!!” To which she replied: “Kissing is okay, though ♡” I burst out laughing. If I’d only just joined the club, I might have played the gentleman and accepted kissing alone. But I’d already been in the club for a year. I’d seen the women doing papa-katsu with my own eyes and heard their moans with my own ears. After witnessing how hard those papa-katsu women work, I simply couldn’t betray them by agreeing to this woman’s request. Also, there’s a woman who’ll kiss me privately without any allowance. She’s a really great person, and I couldn’t betray her either（笑） ※Later, I wondered if I should’ve asked for a kiss that would make up for the allowance. It would probably have turned into one “truly intense, passionate kiss.” Thinking about that made me regret it just a little—but she definitely would’ve hated it and ended things（笑）

I’m Rin, a female member. I love kissing, and whether I want to date someone is almost the same as whether I want to kiss them. I had my reasons for staying silent in the previous Q&A, but of course people are entitled to have all kinds of opinions, beliefs, preferences, kinks, and faint hopes. I think they’re all valid. However, when those views are presented as fixed, definitive statements, they can become critical or judgmental. There are many male and female members, so I feel we should avoid wording that—consciously or not—seems to single out or label a particular group. I’m sure everyone’s opinions are based on their own experiences, but none of us has experienced or understood everything in the universe. Our worlds are very small, so we should recognize that our views inevitably include some degree of personal bias. The person who asked this time wrote not only about kissing, but also that some people have no problem having unprotected sex and ejaculating inside. I was uncomfortable with the exchange about that as well, especially when the other person refused to budge and kept saying, “What’s wrong with that?” (Only the people involved know what actually happens in their relationship. The more you put those details into writing, the more ridiculous they can look to outsiders—and to someone who dislikes that kind of thing, even more unpleasant.) When there are many people involved, everyone will have different things that make them uncomfortable or disgusted. People’s likes and dislikes vary, too. Whether the two people compromise or avoid each other is something only they can decide. That said, if someone wants to take care of her throat because of the nature of her work, I do think she should mention it in her profile. She’s joining for the sake of that dream or career, so she should avoid defeating the purpose—and avoid disappointing men who are expecting something different. (Some people do consider kissing or oral sex important, whether others do or not.)

I’m Basil, a male member. I’ve also dated two professional singers in the past. Both were careful about humidity and ventilation, but they were perfectly comfortable with kissing and unprotected oral sex. I was given their real names and information about their activities, and I also looked them up online, so there was no lie about their credentials. I guess, just like with COVID, people have different levels of awareness when it comes to infectious diseases—maybe these women were too lax about the risks, or maybe the woman in the question is overreacting. I like the feeling of tongues intertwining, but I don’t particularly mind if someone doesn’t allow kissing. In fact, there were several women who didn’t, and I never pressed them for a reason.

I’m Kazu, a male member. It’s an honor to be able to answer a question from Mac, whom I respect. If I knew the reason, I’d understand and accept it. However, if someone simply told me “kissing is off-limits” without explaining why, I’d probably take it to mean, “I’m someone they don’t want to kiss.” If something is “almost common knowledge in the industry,” then it’s only natural that people outside the industry wouldn’t know it. What kind of quiz expects you to guess the answer without any clues? Given how the question was worded, I think the harsh responses were unavoidable. Now, to answer Mac’s question: “Kissing isn’t something I particularly want, so I don’t really care. If you explain the reason, even apologetically, I’ll find it understandable and won’t mind.” That said, oral is not merely important to me—it’s the only thing I need to feel satisfied. So if there are any restrictions on oral, I no longer have a reason to ask her out after dinner. Speaking generally, when people are prohibited from doing something, they tend to feel as though they’ve lost something or gotten a bad deal. So if a male member is still expected to want a relationship despite such restrictions, there needs to be some motivation—something that makes him feel he’s gaining enough to willingly accept those restrictions and continue seeing her.

I’ll answer too, from the president’s office. The various circumstances behind why it isn’t being displayed at this stage have nothing to do with you, the questioner. I feel this issue is fundamentally similar to the question of wanting to do it without protection. (Sorry for bringing this up again, even though it hasn’t come up lately.) Even if a man wants something, it’s a no-go if the woman doesn’t. And if the woman is okay with it, there’s no need for anyone else to say anything. So rather than arguing over who’s right or whether something is unhealthy—though of course it’s important to avoid getting sick—in the end, what matters is whether both people are comfortable with it. I think it’s perfectly fine for a woman to say, “I’m not comfortable with that.” A man should also be able to swallow his disappointment and think, “I wanted to, but it can’t be helped.” That’s part of being a gentleman. Of course, men may get upset and say, “You should have written that in the club’s profile from the start,” or “You should have asked about it during the interview,” which would certainly make things difficult. But many men probably come to these clubs precisely because they like that this isn’t a sex service. If you’re dating an ordinary woman, these kinds of situations can naturally come up. For example, even after getting married, someone might say, “I’m fine with having children, but I want to protect my throat, so kissing and oral are off-limits.” (I don’t know whether couples like that actually exist.) I think it’s fine for someone to have preferences about what they do and don’t want. At the same time, I can understand men thinking, “She must do those things with her boyfriend, so isn’t this a bit unfair?” But because there are all kinds of people, men may decide to look for a woman who suits them better. And if she’s someone they genuinely like despite her terms, putting up with them is also just part of being a man. That said, if I were to offer some advice, most men want a high level of physical intimacy. If you don’t meet their expectations to some extent, you may end up getting lots of offers but having no man continue seeing you. Many men like women who make an effort for them. If they feel that you’re willing to do this or that for them when you normally wouldn’t, they may start thinking, “I can’t leave this woman.” It’s important to say no to things you dislike, but it’s also important to act with the other person’s feelings in mind. While protecting yourself, I think it’s good to consider what would make the other person happy. > Do most people really place that much importance on kissing? I wouldn’t particularly mind going without it, though. lol I personally do place importance on it（笑） But if the other person doesn’t like it, then it can’t be helped—that’s my stance. (I’m just too weak to push the issue, lol.)

I’m a male member based in Seattle. Personally, I’m not interested in kissing or oral sex. I’m perfectly fine without either. That said, I’d appreciate it if women would mention this in their profiles beforehand. It’s better for both sides to avoid a mismatch from the start rather than finding out on the day and wasting each other’s time.

I’m Paper Airplane, a male member. Yes, if kissing became against the rules, I’d quit immediately… The reason people date through a club is to feel safe, so I think there are both male and female club members who want a comfortable relationship with someone who poses as little risk as possible. Of course, I use protection in club relationships. But before relying on condoms to reduce the risk, some people probably prefer to avoid getting involved with anyone who seems particularly high-risk in the first place… It’s not as though transmission is impossible, but some people would rather avoid those who have relationships with lots of partners as much as possible. For people who have relationships with many partners, naturally, it’s important to take steps to reduce those risks. On the other hand, if you want to be involved with only a small number of people, you may simply decide that you don’t want a relationship with someone who worries about those things in the first place. Basically, I believe sex should be with someone you’re in love with. That’s why Type C used to scare me. For men who also see Type A and Type B women, an adult relationship (intimate) may not require such a serious commitment, but I’d really rather not deal with a no-kissing rule. P.S. Mac and Flag Maker, Wait… One of my longtime girlfriends was actually no-kissing… There were benefits to that, too… If I tried to kiss her when she was only slightly aroused, she’d turn her face away. But once she was genuinely aroused, she seemed not to notice, and we even had deep kisses with our tongues intertwined. So in that sense, it was easy to tell… Also, there’s a woman I was even married to and lived with for several years who has never once let me touch her down there. We were married once, lived together for several years, and I still visit her every week. Even at 50 times a year for 20 years—that’s over 1,000 times—but she still won’t let me touch her down there. She’s the only woman I’ve never gone down on, touched, or even seen there… I only know that she gets remarkably wet when we have sex… Thinking about it, I’ve never really caressed her either… She just doesn’t let me, I guess… More than compatibility or anything like that, it’s simply sex where we love each other and become connected, right? Instead, she’ll keep touching me down there for some reason while we watch TV in the living room or lie in bed… Keep gently holding my earlobe for ages… Hold hands, stay pressed up against me… Wait—am I just doing everything the way the woman wants? It’s something only lovers can do… By the way, are there really any male club members who don’t use condoms? I can’t imagine there are, and finishing inside is completely out of the question. The thought of having sex without protection scares me too much—I’ve never even considered it. Maybe “no kissing” sounds so harsh because the word “no” feels like rejection… Perhaps it would sound different with another expression… > Mac A woman who made a reverse offer messaged me on LINE, “Paper Airplane, you’re truly such a kind person.” We’ve also made plans, so I’m in an exceptionally good mood… With reverse offers, there’s no worry about being found out, so you can write about things as they are. It’s also more relaxing and interesting. > I almost wish they’d ask during the interview whether kissing is off-limits, lol. I honestly feel the same way. I’d even like them to ask whether holding hands is off-limits, and list that instead of “no online dates.” I’d almost prefer them to indicate this kind of restriction…