Nice to meet you.

Maezawa from the president’s office will answer as well. The compensation called the club’s standard transportation allowance, which was guaranteed to be paid (¥5,000–¥10,000), has changed after various twists and turns. The club now “requests” that it be paid in advance, but there is no penalty for not doing so. So, when you receive the transportation allowance for the first meeting depends on the man. The club no longer knows when it will be paid. If you haven’t received it by the time you part ways, you’re expected to make sure to ask for it yourself. > I saw someone say that you should receive it at the beginning because some people pretend to forget and don’t pay it at the end. Are there really people like that? I can’t say whether they were pretending, but there were people who forgot, which is why the rule was changed to payment in advance. However, since recently, payment afterward has also been permitted, so we don’t know how things will turn out. Based on past experience, the number of people who forget to pay may increase. Women might end up thinking: “When am I going to receive it?” “I still haven’t gotten it, but I can’t bring it up myself.” “We parted ways, but I never received it after all.” Since this was something the male members wanted, all we can do is hope they don’t forget to pay. > Also, when things develop into an adult relationship (intimate), where do you negotiate the terms? During the meal? Basically, men may invite you to a hotel without discussing any terms, so it’s possible that you won’t receive any money after having sex. If you feel you can’t trust the man, I think you should trust your instincts and discuss the terms as early as possible. There have been cases where women trusted the man and ended up not receiving their allowance. Since these are consensual private relationships, the club can’t do anything. That’s simply how dating clubs work, so please protect yourself. > I feel that discussing this at the dinner table might be awkward, but negotiating at a hotel also seems like it would be uncomfortable if we couldn’t reach an agreement. I think it’s best to bring it up when he invites you. If he brings it up during the meal, you can discuss it then. You may feel self-conscious about people around you, but if the man brought it up there, he probably considers it an appropriate setting. Some men may take you to a hotel without discussing anything. In that case, you should negotiate as soon as you enter the room—before taking off your clothes. If he says he can’t agree to your terms, you should leave the room immediately, as it could be dangerous. When discussing the terms, try to stay near the door so you can leave the room quickly if necessary.

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. If you find it difficult to discuss the terms of the arrangement verbally, why not write them down in a note and hand it to him?

I’m Hikōki, a male member. At adult-entertainment establishments, kissing is a no-go, while at dating clubs, kissing is fine. If kissing is off-limits, you might be better off going to an adult-entertainment establishment. Dating clubs involve a kind of simulated romance, so a no-kissing rule may be hard to accept—unless the person has particularly bad breath or poor hygiene. Even when arranging things online, it might be better to mention the no-kissing rule before discussing the allowance. At adult-entertainment establishments, the no-kissing rule works because the women avoid kissing—partly to preserve at least some pride, and because they understandably don’t want to kiss men who are intimate with an unspecified number of other women. So when I hear “no kissing,” I wonder if she works in that kind of industry. Also, when I hear that she uses a condom during oral, I can’t help wondering if she used to work in adult entertainment.

I’m Kazu, a male member. Male members should have been told during their pre-membership interview that they’re expected to hand over the transportation allowance at the very beginning of the date. I usually give it to her once we’re seated in a café or restaurant, after the staff have brought us the menus and walked away. If the meal or drinks arrive and she still shows no sign of giving you the transportation allowance, you could gently ask, “I was told by the staff that I would receive the transportation allowance at the beginning of the date,” without making it sound sarcastic. Since the male member knows you’ve only just joined, adding “That’s what I was told during the interview” would make it sound even more natural. If you still don’t get a satisfactory answer and feel like he’s trying to brush you off, that’s a major red flag. Of course, both male and female members have their own ways of thinking and doing things, but given the nature of these relationships, I think you should be careful with anyone who is lax about keeping promises. I can’t imagine a good relationship developing with a male member who can’t even honor the agreement regarding the transportation allowance. So, if I were in your position, I’d treat the two hours as a write-off, finish the date, and decline anything further before leaving. If he still doesn’t give you the transportation allowance before you go, you should report to the club that “he didn’t give me the transportation allowance.” I imagine male members who receive multiple reports like that would be removed from the club after the facts were confirmed. You haven’t done anything wrong, so there’s no need to hold back. As for negotiating what happens afterward, I think that’s usually done toward the end of the meal. It may feel rather blunt, but these are fairly candid encounters to begin with, so I think it’s okay—in fact, preferable—to discuss candid matters openly. I wouldn’t recommend negotiating at a hotel, since it would be even more awkward if things fell through, and it would put you at greater risk.