Thankfully, she said she’d like to enter into a one-year arrangement and that we should discuss our expectations next time, so I should think about it beforehand. However, I’ve only ever done pay-per-meeting arrangements, so I have no idea what would be appropriate.
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I imagine we’d probably meet about twice a month for a short time, since we’re both busy (with an adult relationship possible as well)…
Could you tell me what amount you would consider reasonable in this situation? Thank you.
I’m a male member, Paper Airplane.
If it were me, and I liked her that much, I’d hand her a bundle of cash—an amount I wouldn’t mind losing—and say, “Hold on to this for a year.” Then I’d continue seeing her as usual without discussing it any further.
I wouldn’t make a yearly or monthly contract.
So far, I’ve never once had the money I entrusted returned to me. (I was satisfied enough to feel it was worth more than the money.)
But if this was something the woman brought up herself, my past experiences have made me too wary to hand over the money in advance…
I’ve come to regret that I need to see bringing up money upfront as a sign that it’s time to end things.
In the past, whenever a woman brought up money first:
If I paid, things ended within a few months…
If I didn’t, she kept contacting me until I finally gave up.
I’ve started assuming that if she brings up money, she sees me as a man she doesn’t really care about and would be fine with things ending at any time.
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I’m a male member in Seattle.
I’ve had a monthly arrangement before, but nothing good came of it.
They kept saying they weren’t feeling well or were busy, and the days we could meet gradually became fewer and fewer. These days, I only do pay-per-meeting arrangements.
With an annual payment, I don’t see a good future unless it’s with someone I can truly trust.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
Is this woman someone you can trust?
From the way it’s written, it sounds like you haven’t known each other for very long. If you have even the slightest doubts, it’s probably safest to turn her down. That kind of bad feeling is almost always right.
I think it would be safest to start with a monthly arrangement for about six months and take that time to assess her properly.
As for the amount, probably somewhere around 120,000 to 240,000 yen.
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Maezawa from the President’s Office here.
It sounds pretty much like a monthly arrangement.
I assume you’re wondering how much would be appropriate, but basically, I think you should ask what amount she wants and then decide whether you’d genuinely be comfortable paying it.
If you say something like, “Usually, it’s around this much,” and that amount is lower than what she was hoping for, she may feel like she was haggled down—even if it seems like you’ve reached an agreement for the time being. That feeling can linger, and you may end up parting ways before the year is over.
So basically, you should either agree to the amount she names or add a little more and make a good impression.
I assume this would normally be an open-ended arrangement, so I’m a little curious why it became a one-year contract.
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