A man I met offered to cover all the debt I’m carrying. I was shocked because I thought he meant I would actually receive that amount, and I felt bad accepting so much.
This content is machine-translated.
But apparently, from his perspective, it was more like paying my allowance in advance. He suggested that when we meet in the future, the debt could be considered settled through an adult relationship (intimate), or that if I don’t want to continue an adult relationship, I could repay him little by little...
What do you think about this?? Wouldn’t that just mean that instead of owing money to my current lender, I’d owe it to him, without anything really changing at the root of the problem...?
Am I the one seeing this the wrong way??
I’m Its Me, a male member.
I believe loans generally have clearly defined amounts, interest rates, and repayment deadlines.
From your post, it doesn’t seem like the male supporter has clearly stated the terms for taking over your debt.
For example: how long the adult relationship (intimate) would continue, how many times a month, and after how many meetings the debt would be considered settled. Or, if there were no adult relationship, the repayment amount, interest rate, and deadline.
It seems risky, since there’s a real possibility he could later say something like, “You’re my slave forever,” or, if you tried to end the adult relationship, “These are the repayment amount and deadline.”
If you borrow from a legitimate financial institution, the law will at least protect you to some extent by defining the terms and what happens if you’re unable to repay.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m a female member named Rin.
That seems unreasonable, and honestly, a little naive.
There may be someone who takes a liking to you and is willing to pay off your debt for you. If so, that would be incredible.
The problem is that you seem to think you can simply say, “Thank you!” and leave it at that. This is a dating club, so shouldn’t you be thinking about what you can give back to the gentleman and what positive value you can bring him? The fact that you seem focused only on receiving, without considering that, is probably the issue.
If you’re asking him to cover the entire amount, you should start by clearly discussing what kind of relationship he wants, the duration, frequency, allowance, and other terms of the arrangement.
If you’re unwilling to do that, you should look for another way to repay your debt.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Basil, a male member.
I once received a similar proposal from a woman, but it felt too risky, so I ended things immediately.
Perhaps the man intuitively felt that you were trustworthy. It’s not necessarily a bad offer.
It depends on what kind of person he is and the terms involved, such as how many times you’d need to make it up to him and what the allowance would be. Though if he’s dangerous, it could end up costing you more in the long run.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Flag Maker, a columnist.
Rather than being strange, I think the questioner simply didn’t realize that “the world isn’t that easy.”
If they had, when the subject of paying off debts came up, they would have thought:
“Scary, scary, scary! There’s got to be something behind this… Oh, so that’s what it was all about in the end?!”
LOL.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
> Am I the one who’s being unreasonable here??
I think it’s unreasonable.
> I was shocked because I thought I might actually receive that amount.
Normally, you’d either decline or not assume you’d be given it.
It’s strange to bring up having a huge amount of debt in the first place…
The fact that he could tell you about it means…
He’s a man with absolutely no romantic intentions—just looking for money, right?
Men tend to feel emotionally invested when a woman confides something difficult in them.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
It’s Joe.
If you ask whether it’s weird or not, then yes, it’s weird—but the man’s behavior is weird too. In short, they’re both at fault. From there, it’s up to you to decide.
That said, you might want to ask him to stop covering your debts and negotiate an allowance instead. You’re probably both looking at the situation differently, so that approach may lead to fewer problems.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m BB7, a male member.
Doesn’t that man consider the risk that, after paying off her debt in one lump sum, she might stop responding and become impossible to meet?
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here.
If you feel that this is strange or unacceptable, I think it’s perfectly fine to turn him down. If you feel that you’re okay with it, then you can accept his proposal.
Ultimately, it comes down to how you view the situation. From the way you phrased your question, it sounds like you’re not really comfortable with it, so I think it may be best to simply decline.
On the other hand, it’s not just that your debt would be paid off—you’d also no longer have to repay the money. If you wouldn’t mind becoming romantically involved with this man, you could think of it as having your debt cleared and gaining a temporary boyfriend.
Everyone sees things differently. I think it’s fine to look for an arrangement that you can accept without regretting it later.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
