Could you share your thoughts on first-meeting transportation allowances and income distribution?

I’m a male member in Seattle. If the rule is to pay transportation costs upfront, I don’t have time to adjust the amount based on how satisfied I am. It’s a hassle, so I just pay a flat ¥10,000. My annual income is around ¥30 million.

I’m Joe with the after-the-fact add-on. Joe means “¥10,000, no questions asked.” If anything, I might even add another bill. No, it’s not because I’m generous—it’s because I’m vain. I’d really like to say, “We can talk this out!” but history shows that doing so gets you killed. I’m not Mac, but I’d like to put the transportation-expense issue to rest. There seem to be more important things to worry about—like why, despite both being an F cup, the coefficient of friction differs when you’re caught between them. Come to think of it, a few years ago I ran into my former physics teacher, Mr. W, at a taiyaki shop in Azabu-Juban. A passionate Yakult fan, he was enthusiastically explaining, between bites of taiyaki, that “Tetsuto Yamada’s hits violate the laws of physics.” Sensei! Congratulations on finally taking first place after edging out the Giants today!

I’m Its Me, a male member. Is there any reason why most men pay ¥10,000 other than “men are vain creatures”? (lol) Everyone has different ideas about the value of money, just as everyone has different views on meeting members of the opposite sex. I don’t think there’s any correlation between the amount someone pays and their annual income. A lot of genuinely wealthy people understand the value of money, so they won’t spend even a single yen on something they consider pointless. That’s probably why they became wealthy in the first place. On the other hand, they spend generously on things they truly value. Regardless of their income, some people end up spending more than they need to because they want to show off. Since they place value on “looking good,” I don’t think that’s wasteful spending—it’s simply the right way for them to use their money. If you want to avoid women who judge the value of an arrangement solely by saying, “That’s so little!” and meet women who care more about the date itself and the allowance than the exact transportation fee, I think it’s perfectly reasonable to decide for yourself to offer a flat ¥5,000 for transportation. “I might never see you again after today,” so I’ll give you ¥10,000. “You went out of your way to dress up, spend your time and pay for transportation to meet a man you don’t even like. ¥10,000 doesn’t even cover your costs,” so I’ll give you ¥10,000. “I’m not confident in myself as a man, so at least let me show off a little with the transportation money,” so I’ll give you ¥10,000. I think all of those are valid reasons. Personally, I might be more interested in the percentage of women who think, “Men who offer ¥5,000 are disappointing!” than in the relationship between first-meeting transportation fees and income distribution. But even if the results were expressed numerically, I don’t think they would necessarily reflect reality. If I were a woman, I’d answer, “Men who offer ¥5,000 are disappointing!” even if I didn’t actually feel that way. If the majority answered, “I’m grateful even for ¥5,000,” the going rate for transportation money would drop, after all. (lol) And once “I’m grateful even for ¥5,000” became the majority view and the going rate fell to ¥5,000, who would actually be happier? papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is fun because the “dream” matters more than the “reality.” If a survey makes the “reality” visible, I feel that, personally, I’d lose more than I’d gain from the happiness of the going rate dropping from ¥10,000 to ¥5,000.

I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member. Since the transportation allowance isn’t based on the actual fare, I think it really comes down to “what women expect” and “how generous the man wants to be.” If it were simply the actual travel cost, ¥5,000 would be plenty. I feel that the transportation allowance is very much used as an incentive（笑）. I don’t want to be seen as stingy either（笑）. I imagine most people feel the same way. Maybe it would make sense to cover the actual travel costs for women coming from far away, and set a flat ¥5,000 for everyone else. That would make it feel more like a genuine transportation allowance.

Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well. > I’d like to hear your thoughts on why most men pay 10,000 yen. I think the reason most men pay 10,000 yen is that they have a decent income and enough financial breathing room, so they don’t see any point in being stingy over 5,000 yen. I also think they simply want to be kind to the women. It takes women time to get ready to go out—doing their makeup, styling their hair, and deciding what to wear. Some may even spend around three hours preparing. After going to all that trouble to come, they probably feel that offering only 5,000 yen would be unfair. Giving her 10,000 yen won’t make them unable to get by, so they give it out of kindness. That’s probably why some men even give 20,000 or 30,000 yen for dinner only (no intimacy). Since they’re meeting someone they chose from among many women, they likely also want to make their partner happy. Seeing someone they like enjoy herself probably makes them happy too. > If we include men who aren’t club members— I think you should take a broader look at society. Outside dating clubs, a “dinner only” category is starting to take shape. Most men don’t go along with it, but apparently there are some exceptionally attractive women who earn around 5,000 yen an hour for dinner only. Club rules ask members to set aside four hours for a date. (It should be two hours if it’s dinner only, but somehow the rules seem to have become distorted over time...) 4 hours × 5,000 yen = 20,000 yen So apparently there are women with such striking looks that they can receive 20,000 yen. > I also find it inconsistent that people from far away receive actual travel expenses separately. A payment described as transportation expenses is still an allowance—after all, you’re calling it an allowance—so there’s nothing inconsistent about giving travel expenses separately. Naturally, if the date runs past the last train, you should also cover the cost of a taxi. > Regarding the initial transportation payment and income distribution— Most men report their income lower than it really is. Some even deliberately understate it for tax purposes. Besides, if most men are paying 10,000 yen, what distribution is there to discuss? I don’t think there’s really any meaningful distribution at all.

I’m Marika, a female member. There’s no correlation there—not even with the allowance. How about simply making it a flat ¥10,000, no questions asked? If everyone is that concerned about the transportation fee, the club should just set it at ¥5,000. I think allowing a range is what keeps the issue going. In the end, it only matters at the first meeting, and once the relationship continues, it’s an insignificant difference that no longer matters. This may sound harsh, but ¥5,000 for one meal isn’t really worth it, so wouldn’t that reduce cases where someone is practically an A but claims to be a B—what people call a “type scam”—just to get the transportation fee?

I’m Rin, a female member. There may be a correlation between a male member’s income and what he spends, but when a strong factor is at play—such as a man genuinely liking a woman, enjoying a meal with her, and wanting to continue seeing her—I don’t think the relationship is that simple. Would you really go out of your way to do something that might make the person you want to be liked by think, even for a moment, “Huh?” or “That’s so little”? The same goes the other way. If a woman wants to build on things with a wonderful man, I think it’s only natural for her to do her very best as well.

I’m Basil, a male member. When I joined, I was told, “Most men give 1, so you should consider that the standard amount.” Since I don’t see much point in quibbling over a one-time difference of 0.5, I’ve continued giving 1 every time, without exception. Only about 10% of women checked the contents of the small envelope containing the transportation money, but I also don’t want to come across as stingy at first impression. Regardless of their annual income, anyone at the level of joining a club surely isn’t going to haggle over amounts in thousand-yen increments, like 0.6.

I’m Paper Airplane, a male member. I’m not entirely sure what you’re asking, but since ¥10,000 for transportation is pretty low, you’d end up paying ¥10,000 anyway, right? P.S. Are you referring to annual income or something? I don’t think I explained my income or occupation at all. I didn’t even give her my business card. For transportation expenses, when it was a Type C arrangement, I would initially hand over an envelope containing ¥5,000. With Type A or Type B, I didn’t specifically present it as transportation money. If we didn’t go to a hotel that day, I would give her an amount equivalent to transportation as a courtesy payment before she left—more if I really liked her. These days, with online meetings, there’s no need to worry about transportation costs, which makes things easier.

I’m in my 60s and feeling lost. Correlation…??? I just don’t like the number of bills ending up uneven…