Good evening. I want to change the part of myself that makes it difficult to say when I dislike something or can’t do something in this activity.
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I end up agreeing because I’m afraid I’ll be disliked if I say no to certain activities or the allowance… I’m sorry for being scared on my own, but I’m genuinely afraid.
How can I overcome this fear? I would really appreciate any advice.
I’m Rin, a female member.
Try turning your fear into letting yourself lean on him
It’s not easy, but I see it as a form of self-protection.
I had a feeling from the atmosphere that he might be that way, and it turned out he really did have an M side. To be honest, I thought, “Oh no.” But when I told him that everything was new to me and that I was scared, he asked me about things one by one and gradually guided me through them. He really is kind.
Even though I’m this age, he treats me gently, so perhaps you could try telling your partner how you feel little by little while letting yourself rely on him.
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Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well.
Why not reach out to one of the male members among the people answering questions here?
I have a feeling that some of them may be understanding of your situation and willing to see you. If you do that, I think you’ll gradually become more comfortable talking about it.
Men probably won’t make an offer if they feel it would be too much trouble, so if someone does reach out, it may be a sign of hope.
In that case, please contact me, Maezawa, through the form below:
https://universe-club.jp/help/contact/
I’ll pass your message along to the man you’re interested in.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
One of my favorite things is coming up with the worst possible story on my own.
In this case:
I’m doing it reluctantly
→ They think I’m enjoying it.
I’m scared for no reason
→ They think I’m a happy little masochist.
I’m agonizing over what to do
→ They haven’t noticed any of that in the slightest.
【Conclusion】
There’s no point in putting yourself through something you hate or being scared all by yourself.
【Advice】
Whether it’s work or your personal life, I believe it’s important to clearly express your intentions. On the other hand, if you can’t do that, people around you will take advantage of you, and you’ll end up losing out. Unfortunately, I think that’s just the kind of world we live in.
Fear isn’t something you can easily get rid of.
What you need is the courage to take that first step.
I’m not sure giving this kind of advice in an escort club Q&A is appropriate, though lol
> Basil
It wasn’t cold or dismissive lol
By “giving this kind of advice,” I meant “giving such a passionate piece of advice in a Q&A”!
“Courage to take that first step” is a phrase used by Tetsuya Naito, the current IWGP double champion, and those words have helped me through some tough times too.
So yes, it was a passionate piece of advice lol
Don’t just decide that I was being cold lol
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I’m Meg, a female member.
I completely understand that you don’t want to be disliked.
But I don’t think you need to rush into changing your personality. There may be people who will accept you just as you are.
> I can’t immediately say no when there’s something I can’t do.
If you look at it another way, this means you have a willingness to challenge yourself. With anything, you won’t know until you try. It also means you still have room to grow.
When talking to your partner:
1. If it seems like it could involve something frightening, you can politely decline by saying something like, “That feels scary to me right now, but I’d like to become someone who can meet your expectations.”
2. Regarding the allowance, honestly tell them, “I’m sad because it’s different from the amount I was expecting.”
3. If there’s something you don’t like, think about why you dislike it, and then explain that reason clearly so they can understand and accept it.
If they still don’t understand even after you explain your reasons, I think it may be okay to part ways with them.
Do you really enjoy being in a relationship that makes you feel frightened?
It might be worth reconsidering that once more.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
I guess all you can do is meet someone you’re compatible with—someone you can talk about those things with…
Someone you can feel safe with…
Otherwise, it seems pretty difficult…
P.S. Maezawa-san,
I’m willing to accept a sensitive girl who might not be a good fit elsewhere.
That said, I do have certain requirements regarding age and appearance…
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I’m Basil, a male member.
If you realize you’re the one scaring yourself, then you simply have to say that you don’t like it. Even if you ask others how to handle it, you’re the one who has to take action.
P.S.
The men’s answers tend to be rather blunt, as represented by Flag Maker’s comment: “I’m not sure this kind of advice belongs in an escort club Q&A, haha.”
The women, on the other hand, are more empathetic, perhaps because it’s something closer to home for them.
This isn’t limited to this particular question—these kinds of posts are interesting, or rather educational, because they clearly reveal the contrast between men’s and women’s perspectives, not to mention the differences in life experience.
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