This is about a woman I’ve been seeing for around six months.
At first, we met about two or three times a month. However, it’s now been over a month since we last saw each other.
When I contact her, she says she likes me and wants to see me, but she’s too busy for that right now. However, I haven’t even suggested any specific dates or times.
How should I interpret this?
I’m Flag Maker, a columnist.
At times like that, I may wonder if she’s prioritizing another papa, but if I like her, I deliberately take her words at face value. I don’t pry—I just pretend to believe everything she says 100%.
If I’m not that interested in her, I see it as “lucky me,” since I don’t have to be the one to fade out.
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
As expected, everyone’s answers are spot-on.
I feel the same way.
Well, how should I put it…
It’s good, but I guess it’s not allowed, huh?（笑)
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I’m Rin, a female member.
I feel a little hesitant answering since I’m probably one of the club’s underperformers, but if she truly wanted to end things, I don’t think she would write, “I like you, but…”
That said, she may simply be keeping you as an option. Women who receive offers from several men will probably compare them and weigh their options.
Try asking her, “I’ll work around your schedule.” If even then she can’t make time, it might be better to turn your attention to someone else.
Mr. Mac,
Even in everyday life, when someone confesses their feelings or asks you out, people sometimes say something similar: “I don’t dislike you, but there’s someone else who seems even better…”—when they’re keeping you as an option. If it happened to me, I’d be truly heartbroken and would probably keep waiting, even with tears in my eyes…
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I’m Gaku, a male member.
I think the messages mean exactly what they say:
“I like you and want to see you, but I’m too busy, so it’s not possible.”
“Understood. Please contact me when you have time.”
If she wants to see you, she’ll get in touch when she can. If she doesn’t, she won’t.
Maybe she found another generous (well-paying) papa (a male supporter), is tired of meeting repeatedly for that allowance, got a boyfriend, or has some other reason. But I don’t think there’s much point in asking.
This is probably a good time to start looking for a new connection.
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I’m Basil, a male member.
This happens pretty often. She probably has someone else she prefers and is only keeping you as a backup, so seeing you isn’t a priority. It’s possible she’s genuinely busy, but if that were the case, she’d probably give you a specific reason.
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I’m Kamihikoki, a male member.
Women’s feelings can be complicated, but if the roles were reversed:
At first, you might meet four, five, or six times a month, but when you want to gradually reduce that to two or three times a month, and eventually once or twice a month, one excuse people use is:
“I’ve gotten busy.”
Sometimes they go one or two months without meeting for that reason…
And once you realize you can go one or two months without seeing someone, you gradually stop feeling like meeting them at all…
P.S. Men may keep communicating even when there’s a zero percent chance, but for women, there might still be some possibility… unless they receive a new offer, that is.
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Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well.
If she wrote, “I like you and want to see you, but…,” I feel there’s still hope.
However, if she says, “I’m too busy, so it’s impossible,” then I think you’ve become less of a priority.
That may mean she’s busy with work, busy seeing her boyfriend, or busy spending time with friends.
If things continue as they are, you may eventually part ways, but there isn’t really anything you can do from here.
For now, I think it’s best to let things take their natural course.
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I’m a male member named Seattle.
She’s probably prioritizing men who offer a higher allowance than you do.
Either reconsider your terms or give up and look for someone else.
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