I’m a woman. I was asked if he could film me nude in exchange for increasing the allowance for intimacy after dinner, so I declined.

Column writer Saito here♪ Why do they lash out when they don’t get their way...? It happens quite often, doesn’t it?

I’m BB7, a male member. When guys like this are around, even an ordinary, boring guy like me gets highly praised as “such a gentleman!” So I’m not complaining.

I’m Joe. Nana, once my beloved, was a fan of hard-boiled novels. One of her favorite authors was Hammett, who is said to have established the genre. Influenced by her, I read nearly every Hammett work available in Japanese. Naturally—or so you might say—we ended up deciding, “Since we’re both Hammett fans, let’s make a private recording.” It’s a precious memory for us. What I’m trying to say is that intimate matters only work when both people consent. So simply saying, “If you want to do that, read Hammett first!” should solve the problem. Of course, it won’t affect your feedback in any way. Rest assured. I hope peace of mind finds the questioner, who has been troubled by this without being able to discuss it with anyone.

I’m Basil, a male member. It’s probably less about being particular about the photo shoot and more about him getting angry because she wouldn’t give in to his demands. I’d simply let it go—and putting aside the appeal of seeing someone in person, I’m not interested in photo shoots in the first place. People might start assuming that other male members are just like the questioner, so vulgar behavior from men with such childish mentalities is nothing but a nuisance.

I’m Marika, a female member. After going on dates with 25–30 people, surely he’s the only one who would say something that ridiculous and then get angry about it, right? There can’t be many people like that. Of course you were right to turn him down. Please make sure to give the club proper feedback so that female members who, unlike you, have little experience—or who encounter someone like him on their very first offer—don’t end up being harmed.

Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well. Clearly saying that you don’t like something is an entirely normal thing for an adult to do. If he was going to offer more money, part of me thinks you could have said, “I’d consider it for 100 million yen,” but he would probably just start saying that you have a warped sense of money, so I think the best response is not to engage with him. That said, I do recommend sending feedback about what happened. (Though it would be better to write only the facts in a calm, matter-of-fact way.) I’m sorry there was a man who behaved so ungentlemanly. Unfortunately, many men seem to think they should be given special treatment and prioritized simply because they are paying. Some even go so far as to say, “I’m the one paying, yet you’re treating the male members lightly.” But if you think about it normally, this isn’t treating him lightly—it’s an entirely reasonable reaction. His sense of reality is probably distorted, so he interprets “you’re not flattering me” as “you’re treating me lightly.” Still, I wish men like that would go elsewhere to pursue papa-katsu. There are plenty of clubs where they’ll fawn over them. I’m sure he thinks that the club wouldn’t make money without him, or that it would fall apart if he left. But from the club’s perspective, it would actually be better without someone like that. The bad reputation he creates is more concerning. There are also many men who are genuinely appreciated and admired by the women they meet. It wouldn’t be fair if those men were all lumped together with the unpleasant ones and people came away thinking that clubs are full of men like this. > Are there many men who ask to take photos? Not many, but apparently there are a few. That said, I think most men are gentlemanly enough to back off when the woman says she’s uncomfortable. I don’t think there are many others who would start lecturing someone just because they were turned down. If a man behaved that way, complaints would probably come in from multiple women, so the club would notice quickly. If the allowance increase were around 300,000 or 500,000 yen, the woman might accept it and no complaint might be filed, but— > Are many women willing to go along with it? Women who agree probably don’t report it to the club, so I can’t say whether they’re common or not. Still, if a man offered 300,000 yen to take photos, I imagine some women might accept. However, there’s always the risk that the video could later be uploaded online and remain there for the rest of your life. So even if the allowance is increased a little, I basically think it’s better not to agree. > I’m worried that because I refused to be photographed, he’ll assume I’m not serious about papa-katsu and leave me bad feedback. In this situation, it’s obvious that no one at the club would sympathize with the man if he complained about the photography request. So he may instead leave negative feedback about some other trivial issue, just to pick holes in everything you did. If that happens, send your feedback to the club before he does. Even if the man tells a different story, the club may suspect that he only wrote it out of spite because you refused to be photographed. So I recommend that you send your feedback promptly as well. However, if you write something like, “Please ban this man,” you may be labeled a complainer. I recommend sticking strictly to the facts.

I’m Date◎Yume, a male member. I’ve never asked for even an ordinary photo. I don’t think it would happen, but the consequences would be serious if one were ever leaked. She’s still young and has her whole future ahead of her. I’m always extremely careful not to cause her any trouble.

I’m in my 60s and feeling a bit lost. This is different from what I described in my answer to Mac’s question—hiring a professional photographer... My impression is that he seems like a rather creepy man, and I wouldn’t want anything to do with him.

I’m Hikōki, a married male member. Because I’m married, I’d be too scared to take photos or videos. I do envy people who can, but I’ve never wanted to do it myself. The fact that you were able to firmly refuse actually makes me think you’re well-suited to the club. As for feedback from a man who talks at you like that, I don’t think you need to worry about it.