I’m a male member. Thank you as always for your thoughtful answers!
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My question this time is about personal information.
Do male members generally tell women their real names, workplaces, and so on honestly?
I can’t help feeling that it’s risky, so I only share the general area where I work and the rough area where I live.
Do female members usually get honest answers from men they’ve become close to?
Also, if a man doesn’t share that information despite being in a long-term relationship, would you become suspicious or distrustful?
Thank you in advance for your answers.
I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
I think everyone approaches relationships differently, but in our case, we both know exactly what’s going on（笑）
You never know how things might turn out between a man and a woman, so I do think we need to be extremely careful…
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
It depends on the woman I’m dealing with. There’s no clear-cut rule about when I bring it up or what prompts me to say it.
Though I’m a salaried office worker, so even if I told them, they probably wouldn’t be interested anyway, haha.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
I don’t share my real name, and my LINE account isn’t under my real name either, but if you Google the account, it’s easy to figure out what I do for work.
On a first date, I’ll drive her home or drop her off near her place, and when she’s from a rural area, there have even been cases where she came inside my place that very first day.
Even when I ask a woman’s real name, I quickly forget her surname. Just her first name is enough.
P.S. Rina,
> I judge whether someone is trustworthy not only by how they treat me, but also by how they treat the staff at the club, their manners and demeanor, the way they speak, and how they communicate with me.
I see—that’s the sort of thing you pay attention to.
Maybe that’s why a lot of women casually tell me their real names right from the first day. But if they don’t put their name on LINE, I only vaguely remember it from then on. It feels awkward to ask again, so I can’t call them by name, and I can’t type their name in our LINE messages either. I don’t use their name on the second date, and by around the third or fourth date, I finally get to ask, “You were ◯◯, right?”
It really helps if they type just their first name on LINE.
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I’m Basil, a male member.
I’m careful to avoid being identified, so this is something I pay attention to. Nothing good can come from this activity being discovered.
I never disclose my workplace—absolutely not, not even to the club. As for my real name, it may naturally come up as we continue seeing each other, but I don’t actively share it.
On the other hand, I’ll give a general indication of the area around my nearest station as somewhere I avoid, and I may mention my line of work if it comes up in conversation. Both are fairly ordinary and wouldn’t be enough to identify me personally.
Once, I happened to find out that someone I was seeing worked in a building very close by, which made me panic a little. Fortunately, we never ran into each other at work or during our commutes.
A profiler might be able to identify me to some extent from the things I casually reveal here, but I’m taking the optimistic view that no one would go out of their way to do that.
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Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office will answer as well.
Lately, there have been quite a few questions that feel more like interrogations.
Is this “Person A”?
If Mack’s wild instinct is telling him so, then maybe it really is Person A?
That said, I’d like you to explain what led you to ask that question and what exactly you’re having trouble with.
P.S. So it wasn’t Person A after all. (Haha) Still, your powers of insight are incredible.
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I’m Seattle, a male member.
I’m self-employed, so I’m pretty upfront about everything. Even if I got arrested, maybe no one would be affected. Though obviously, I don’t want to get arrested.
Business owners probably need to be more careful.
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I’m Rin, a female member.
It may be presumptuous of me, as one of the least senior female members, to answer, but…
Almost everyone I’ve met has told me their real name. Most of them use their full names on LINE, and I’ve also received business cards.
Honestly, I don’t really mind whether someone gives me a business card or not. I decide whether I can trust someone based not only on how they treat me, but also on how they treat restaurant staff, their manners, the way they speak, and how they communicate.
As for me, I never reveal my last name because searching it brings up detailed information about my family and even my children. I feel terrible about that, but when someone comes near my workplace, I’ll go out to see them even if only for ten minutes. And if they message me in the middle of the night, I reply right away. That’s how I express my feelings in my own way.
Revealing one’s identity doesn’t necessarily mean someone is sincere.
And keeping it private doesn’t necessarily mean someone is dishonest.
There have also been times when someone told me everything about themselves openly, but I turned them down because they happened to be the father of one of my son’s school seniors. Things like that can happen.
I think it’s up to each person to decide which approach is right or wrong for them.
P.S.
Romane, my pupils were fully dilated.
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