I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
I assume the first meeting is usually at a café, restaurant, hotel lobby, or somewhere similar, so arriving a little early hasn’t been a problem for me. That said, I agree that it’s best to get in touch around the agreed meeting time.
Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well.
> Is five minutes before the meeting still considered late?
No, it isn’t.
The meeting time is five minutes later, so if a man says you’re late even though the agreed time hasn’t passed yet, that’s a problem on the man’s side.
I’m not sure why the instruction was changed to “five minutes before,” but perhaps there were cases where the meeting was set for 00 minutes past the hour and someone called at 05 minutes past, or where they called right on time but couldn’t find each other, so they didn’t actually meet up until ten minutes later.
Maybe there were also women who arrived early and planned to wait until the agreed time before calling, only to be approached by men deliberately targeting women in that situation, saying, “Hey, it’s me,” and then mistakenly following them.
I assume something like that may have happened.
So they probably started telling women to call “five minutes before,” thinking that ten minutes early was too soon, but five minutes early would be reasonable.
> When men attend their first meeting, aren’t they told that “the woman will call about five minutes beforehand”?
I don’t know why they don’t explain it, but as I mentioned in my previous answer, after they began telling women to call “five minutes before” (about two years ago, I think), I assume men who joined after that were informed when they signed up.
Looking at the men’s answers, many seem to prefer receiving the call right at the scheduled time.
In that case, they could ask the branch office to tell the woman:
“She called five minutes early, but that doesn’t work for me, so please have her call right at the scheduled time. At the very least, I’d like that to apply to the woman I’m meeting.”
I think they would accommodate the men who make that request, at minimum. And if enough people say they don’t like calls five minutes early, things may go back to the way they were before.
I’m a man in my 60s, and I’m at a loss.
> At the first meeting, aren’t male members told that “the woman will call about five minutes beforehand”?
As I mentioned before, it doesn’t seem like they explain this to members who have been with the club for several years. Or perhaps the policy differs depending on the branch.
If the woman is going to call from the meeting place five minutes early, then I believe I should arrive five minutes early and be there to take the call.
Where did this supposed etiquette of calling before the agreed-upon time come from?
Frankly, I wish they would stop.
I’m Marika, a female member.
It’s perfectly fine to call when you arrive at the meeting time, right? If being five minutes early is still considered late, then what’s the point of setting a meeting time? They might as well set it for ten minutes earlier.
Anyway, that’s just my personal opinion.
I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
There may have been an explanation, but all I remember is being told something like, “I’ve never heard that before…”
Most people show up right on time, so even five minutes early might be considered slightly early.
Men are eager to meet and may feel like five minutes early is still cutting it close. Arriving seven or eight minutes early might even make them a little happy.
P.S. The first time, she called me ten minutes early, so I started arriving early since I drive my own car. But you’re right—arriving exactly on time isn’t necessarily bad either.
It’s kind of like how customers who ring the bell one minute early at men’s esthetic salons are considered annoying…
