My husband is a musician, and I joined Universe after his income dropped due to COVID-19.
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I’m in my 30s and don’t consider myself particularly attractive, but I received eight offers in about two months.
(I was type C, but after receiving six offers, I became exhausted by trying to manage both my office job and papa-katsu, so I changed to type B. I continued to receive offers afterward as well.)
Every man I met through Universe was kind and gentlemanly, and I’m grateful for the wonderful people I’ve met.
I still go on dates regularly.
I’m truly glad I found the courage to join Universe, as the men I met supported me through the financial hardship caused by COVID-19.
Since June, my husband has gradually started getting work again. Our income hasn’t fully recovered yet, but he’s doing his best.
So I’ve started wondering whether it’s about time to quit papa-katsu, and I recently consulted the staff about withdrawing.
I hesitated because if I withdrew and later found myself struggling financially again, I’d have to go through the hassle of an interview and re-registration from scratch. For now, they suggested putting my account on hold, so that’s what I’m doing.
Continuing on a limited basis would be an option, but I’m keeping the fact that I’m married a secret in the first place. Given my husband’s profession, I’m terrified that my identity might be exposed.
Do you think this is the right time to quit…?
I probably should have spoken to the staff directly, but this became quite a long message. Then I learned about this question box and decided to write here.
It’s something I can’t tell anyone in my personal life, so maybe I just wanted someone to listen.
Sorry for the poorly written message…
This is Column Writer Joe with a follow-up.
I imagine you’ve probably already made up your mind to take a break. The reason you’re still wavering, I suspect, is that you can’t see what the future holds.
Writing isn’t Joe’s main job, but I do plan and run classical concerts, so I believe I understand how many people in the music industry have been left struggling since COVID. The field I’m involved in is especially low-profile, so even people with impressive careers are in dire straits.
In that respect, it’s wonderful to hear that your husband’s work is gradually returning. At the same time, depending on how the situation develops when another wave is expected to begin in the fall, you may need to make new arrangements again. Still, when that time comes, you can deal with it then. For now, I think taking a break would be best—not necessarily meaning you have to continue the relationship, but while cherishing the connection you’ve built and, importantly, preventing your identity from being exposed.
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I’m Gaku, a male member.
For some reason, most of the women I choose turn out to be married without having disclosed it.
I personally don’t mind whether a woman is married or single, but it’s a problem when the times and days she’s available are drastically different from what’s listed on her profile.
Many men are also worried about being identified, and at Universe, both parties verify their identities, so I don’t think criminal acts can happen that easily.
If she feels guilty toward her husband or is struggling emotionally, she could simply leave the club—or take a break and think things over at her own pace.
Not long after I joined, I met someone who was also married but hadn’t disclosed it. It was a similar situation to yours, and eventually we could no longer meet.
Since I haven’t heard from her, I’m guessing things are probably going well for her.
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
It sounds like you’ve more or less achieved what you set out to do by joining the dating club. Considering that you’re married in the first place and are understandably worried about being identified because of your husband’s profession, this seems like a good time to take a break or withdraw.
You never know what life may bring, so I think it’s perfectly fine to remain on hiatus as a precaution.
Also, since you’re still going on dates, you can simply continue the relationship while feeling grateful to have met someone wonderful. That makes it an extension of your leisure activities, after all（笑）. Your finances should remain stable for the time being.
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I’m Basil, a male member.
If there’s no downside, why not put your membership on hold for now? Since you’re getting by with your wife working as an office lady and doing club activities anyway, her husband probably isn’t doing all that well. You’ll probably end up restarting before long.
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I’m “Paper Airplane,” a male member.
I guess it’s time for her to quit, isn’t it?
There’s a woman I’ve been advising about changing her type.
When she consulted the staff about making the change, they persuaded her that it wasn’t possible while she had an offer pending, so she’s currently unable to change it.
She said the staff’s explanation made her think she wouldn’t receive any offers unless she chose Type C. If she’d known that, she would have chosen Type B…
So I assume the staff recommend taking a break because they’re thinking of the female members’ best interests (as well as Univ’s and the male members’). But since she’s married and didn’t originally need this in the first place, I think she’ll probably quit altogether.
If she ever needs it again, couldn’t she just start over with an interview?
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Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well.
> I’m terrified of being identified. Is it probably time to quit…?
From the men’s side, your profile becomes invisible whether you suspend your membership or withdraw, so there’s no difference.
Other than that, I think it’s pretty much as explained.
I assume by being identified, you mean that even if you came back, you’d be worried about being recognized again, so you wouldn’t return.
As long as your profile isn’t visible, you won’t be identified whether you suspend or withdraw. So I think it would be best to suspend your membership for now, and if you later decide you probably won’t return, you can contact them about withdrawing six months, a year, or even two years from now.
You could withdraw, of course. But considering the risk that you might be rejected at the interview if you ever decide you want to come back, I think it’s safer to remain suspended until you’re absolutely certain you’ll never return.
That said, since you’re currently registered and have received offers from eight people, I don’t think you’d be rejected at your next interview.
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I’m Rin, a female member.
There was a gentleman who said he doesn’t accept married women, right?
Is it okay to lie about that? As long as he doesn’t get caught, I suppose?
Does his wife know and approve?
You, honestly—there are so many things wrong here.
Let’s have the resolve not to say things that don’t need to be said, or things that shouldn’t be said.
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