I’m a Type B female member, and I always look forward to your posts.
I’m currently seeing a man about twelve years older than me.
It’s not romantic feelings, but sometimes I suddenly feel like seeing him in my everyday life, or remember the conversations we had during our intimate moments.
When we meet, he asks me, “Are there any days you’re free this week?”
Even if I were to ask him first, I’d feel bad if he happened to be busy, and I worry that if I seem too eager to see him, I might put him in an awkward position...
I’m happy whenever I see his daily messages, but how much of my feelings should I show on my own?
Also, from a man’s perspective, how much would be considered too emotionally demanding?
I’m BB7, a male member.
Some men dislike it when you show your emotions and resist, while others are happy when you do.
Rather than overthinking everything, why not just do what feels right in each moment?
Emotions are fleeting; they don’t last forever...
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Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well.
> I feel happy when I see that he messages me every day.
If he messages you every day, I think he probably likes you, so it should be fine to naturally show that you have feelings for him too.
However, some men may feel uncomfortable if they take it as a serious confession, so you may need to communicate your feelings carefully.
That said, if you tell him you want to see him, he may assume that you’re running short on money. I think it would be better to maintain the same approach as now and wait for him to bring it up.
> From a man’s perspective, how much is too much?
As long as it’s understood that money is involved, I don’t think anything is necessarily “too much.”
As long as he thinks, “She says she likes me, but that’s because I’m giving her money, right?” I don’t think he’ll find it too heavy.
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I’m a male member who goes by “Paper Airplane.”
When I ask, “Are you free to meet sometime this week?” I don’t specify the days, but I’m sending it with the intention of meeting on any day she’s available.
In reality, I usually only meet someone once or two or three times.
With someone I really like, I may even go see her if we can match up our schedules for just an hour.
By the second or third meeting, it often turns into dinner only, without even discussing the allowance. Girls who bring up an allowance of 20,000 yen for dinner right away usually don’t end up meeting me repeatedly or continuing things.
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I’m Rin, a female member.
To the person who asked the question:
I know exactly what you mean!
I really, really do!!!
I try hard to hold myself back and not make it too obvious over LINE, so I do my best to make sure he can tell when we meet in person.
When I get a message asking me out, I reply practically the instant I see it, haha.
As for the words I like to hear during an adult relationship, I tell him that I want him to say more. (Sometimes I can’t get the words out, but he gets the message.)
The men’s answers have been incredibly educational for me too… and they really make my heart flutter.
“Chuki” feels a little too childish for my age, so I’ll look for a similar sticker.
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This is Joe, a column writer.
I’m not entirely sure what kind of relationship you have with this person, but at the very least, it’s wonderful that you’ve met someone special and are growing fond of them.
The question is how to express those feelings. LINE and similar apps are the usual choice, but Joe feels that apps of this sort are really just for simple communication. A letter or postcard would make me happy, though that’s not very practical（笑）.
What matters is that you think about this person, feel your heart flutter, and perhaps find yourself uncertain at times. Do you really need to convey all that through such an easy, offhand method as LINE?
I’m probably in the minority, but Joe considers the wording of LINE messages—including this one—to be, basically, nothing more than idle chatter.
This may seem rather sudden, but I’d like to share one of my favorite waka poems:
“Having promised to view the moon together,
I wonder if the person back in my hometown
is also soaking their sleeves with tears tonight.”
—Saigyō
Since it’s a poem from a man’s perspective, it may not quite fit your feelings. But when I read that you sometimes remember the conversations you shared during your intimate moments, my imagination-loving side reacted intensely.
I hope your wonderfully sensual relationship continues for a long time.
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I’m Gaku, a male member.
Since an age gap of about 12 years wouldn’t be unusual even for marriage in the real world, I think it’s perfectly fine to communicate like you’re dating.
I don’t know what kind of relationship the man is looking for, but this may be a time when you can enjoy a simulated romance, so I’d suggest discussing it with him and seeing what works for both of you.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
Since you haven’t explained the allowance, I’m not really sure how to answer.
That said, whether it’s pay-per-meeting or a monthly arrangement, I think the man will ultimately decide how often you meet. So it’s fine to say “I want to see you” or “I really want to see you” without worrying that it’ll make you seem money-minded.
Is the questioner’s real concern not that they’ll seem “too needy,” but that if they openly and frequently say they want to meet, the man might take advantage of that and reduce the allowance?
In the end, women are the ones receiving an allowance through a dating club, and it’s pretty rare to have an arrangement that’s 100% on your terms.
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I’m Basil, a male member.
I prefer it when women reach out to me first.
It feels good to be liked, and knowing their situation makes it easier to coordinate our schedules.
Regardless of what the messages are about, once it gets to around one or two times a week, that’s enough. If it becomes too frequent, replying starts to feel like a chore, and I gradually begin to find it bothersome.
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