About men who pressure you to say things like, “I don’t need any money!” or “I’d like to keep seeing you for free” during intimacy.
This content is machine-translated.
Compared with the men I see on a pay-per-meeting basis, this man created that kind of situation during our first intimate encounter, making me feel like I had to say it because I didn’t want to ruin the mood.
I did receive my allowance this time, but now I feel uneasy about seeing him again.
Have any other women experienced something like this? And what do male members and staff think?
(Is this actually more common than I think?)
I’m Joe, a columnist who prefers “after-the-fact” rather than finishing inside.
It’s fairly normal, I think, to get excited by saying or being made to say certain things. However, in dating-club arrangements, “free” is generally a forbidden word. So I can certainly understand why you feel uneasy. In any case, it may be an expression of your partner’s hidden desires. Hopefully, there won’t be any money-related problems as the arrangement continues. If they try to negotiate a lower allowance, I recommend giving them an immediate no.
I hope your relationship remains a peaceful one.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Meg, one of the female members.
Hmm, I wouldn’t like that either… being made to say something like that!
I’d probably feel the same way as you do.
You wouldn’t want to see him again after that, would you?
Though if he told me,
“Shout that it feels good!”
I’d happily shout it…
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Basil, a male member.
The other answers have already covered everything. Basically, I agree with Paper Airplane’s answer; ideally, with Maezawa’s point #4—but realistically, I think the approach in Mac’s postscript is the way to go.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m a female member named Rin.
Some people feel fulfilled when, during intimacy, they ask things like, “Do you like me?” or “Do you want to see me again?” and hear the answers, or repeatedly say, “You’re my woman.” In such cases, I take it to mean that they fully understand and accept that they met through a club and that an allowance is involved, and are therefore making the relationship more satisfying for both of them.
This time, since you used the expression “even for free,” perhaps you’re deeply fond of the person asking and feel sad that they only see you because there’s an allowance involved. However, looking at it from a more skeptical angle, they might possibly have ulterior motives. It may be difficult to say, but it might be better to receive the allowance upfront.
That said, if they’re genuinely sweet and desperately trying their best, it would be a shame, so it may also be a good idea to draw out their true feelings before meeting.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Maezawa from the Business Planning Office here as well.
There are several possible explanations.
① He may simply be asking you to say what you want as part of a role-play.
If that’s the case, it probably won’t cause you any actual harm.
② He may actually be secretly recording you, keeping the footage for his own enjoyment, or distributing it somewhere.
There may be something unnatural about the room, so look carefully. Why is the bag in that spot? Why is the clock positioned strangely? If objects are placed somewhere that doesn’t make sense, there could be a camera hidden there.
If you find one, don’t tell him—take the camera with you. It would be safest to retrieve it while he’s taking a shower and then leave the room.
(If you haven’t received your allowance yet, you’ll probably want to collect it first, though > <)
Once you have evidence, contact the club after ending things with the man. He’ll be expelled from the club.
③ He may be recording you saying those lines so that he won’t have to pay after the second meeting.
If the club questions him, he may intend to play the recording and claim, “I didn’t pay because she said she didn’t want an allowance. We agreed to that.”
In this case, I think it would be safest to receive your allowance as soon as you enter the room. Ask for it upfront, and if he hesitates, say, “I’m going home,” and leave.
④ He may be hoping to brainwash you gradually.
By making you say it every time, he may be trying to condition you until you eventually say on your own, “You’re so kind, so I don’t need an allowance.”
If you’re aware of what he’s doing, you probably won’t be easily brainwashed, though...
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Saito, a column writer♪
That’s a separate matter, though—in my case, I’ll continue making payments at future meetings as well.
I don’t think you need to worry about it.
If it had truly been free, I don’t think I would have paid from that point onward.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
I couldn’t help thinking it sounded kind of fun.
I suppose it depends on the allowance next time you meet, but if he pays a reasonable allowance, maybe you could say it even louder next time.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
He sounds like an adorably sweet guy.
It was just something he said in the heat of the moment, right?
He probably just wanted you to say what you wished for.
Unless you seriously said the same thing afterward over tea, I think he understands that you didn’t really mean it. You can also tell from the wording that you had no real intention of it.
So I don’t think you need to worry about not receiving your allowance.
If he had no intention of giving it to you, he wouldn’t have prompted you to say something like that in the first place.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
