Tips
Jun 21, 2020 19:51
7 answers
🏅 手コキ評論家
入会して8年。いまだ彷徨中です
Age: 60s
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m “After-the-Fact Joe,” the column writer (I’ve changed my name).
A round of applause for Mac and Flag Maker.
This question box isn’t just for seeking answers; I think it also serves as a place to vent one’s doubts and, in some cases, blow off steam. That said, what do you make of a grown man asking, “I don’t know how to say goodbye…”?
Joe’s honest opinion is: “Just because it’s anonymous and free—and setting aside the fact that you’re not some young girl—doesn’t mean you can ask absolutely anything.”
What especially caught my attention was the part about “not wanting to be rude.” As Mac said, there’s no such thing as a perfectly polite way to do it. If anything, as Flag Maker suggested, being thoroughly rude might be better for both the other person and yourself.
Sorry for sounding so condescending. I hope you understand what Joe is trying to say.
Other
I’m BB7, a male member.
Looking at it the other way around, when women stop reaching out to me too, I figure they probably have all kinds of men they’re dealing with, and this is just one of those situations（笑）
🏅 ４０歳でリアル異世界転生したオッサン l 元金融マン → 現ＡＩ界隈
出張ホストの実技試験合格してるので、対女性への無難な前戯とかマナーに一定の知見あり。
Age: 40s
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Flagmaker, a column writer.
I think it’s hard to turn someone down without being rude.
Personally, I usually just give a pretty blunt refusal.
I’ll say things like, “The amount isn’t worth it,” “I don’t think we’re a great match,” or “That’s outside my budget.”
That said, “I found another great girl” feels even ruder, so I can’t bring myself to say that.
🏅 倶楽部女性のご主人様に潤いを！
Mパパ、永遠の交際継続中！
B1タイプ〜A寄りパパです！
会う度大人は嫌と感じる方………ご相談ください。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Hikoki, a male member.
If work gets busy and your schedules just don’t line up, it’s perfectly fine to say, “I’d like to meet, but it’s been difficult to find the time.”
If you’re only meeting two or three times a month, I think you should be cautious about committing to just one person.
I’ve really come to understand the advice I often saw from more experienced members: “If you make more offers, you may meet someone even better and more compatible.”
The more people you meet, the greater the chance of building an even better relationship.
迷わない70代
Male
Send a reverse offer to this responder
パパ活歴11年目、回答者歴8年目の関西在住者。パパ活終活中（笑）
Age: 70 or older
👨 Male
Former Universe member
I’m a lost 60-something.
I also went through a period when I had made offers to too many women and wasn’t sure what to do. lol
But there’s no guarantee that, over time, the women will naturally drift away and you’ll end up continuing long-term with the one you like best.
Even if you can only meet a few times a month, things can continue as long as you’ve earned her trust. I recently went on a date with someone I hadn’t seen in four months—we had dinner and went shopping. I’m also still in touch via LINE with someone I haven’t seen in about six months, and we’ve talked about meeting again sometime soon.
You might be better off maintaining good relationships with three women. That way, even if things end with one of them, it won’t hurt quite as much.汗
🏅 あなたの味方
お役に立てれば幸いです。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe staff
Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here, answering as well.
I think it would have been better to make the offers more strategically, but what’s done is done.
At this point, I think it might be best not to turn anyone down. How about rotating among the three women, meeting twice a month?
If you go on two dates a month, the interval between dates with each woman would be:
- Seeing two women: once a month with each
- Seeing three women: once every month and a half with each
As you continue seeing them this way, you may eventually discover which of the three is the best match for you.
Age: 60s
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Basil, a male member.
You may also get cut off by your favorite girl.
If you don’t mind being someone’s second choice or lower, why not avoid turning her down outright, keep things ambiguous, and leave open the possibility of reconnecting later?
The women who are second choice or lower will probably catch on eventually. If they’re the ones who end things, then so be it.
They might even prefer being kept on the back burner to having things end completely.