I registered with Universe Club about a month ago. The other day, I met the first man who made me an offer, and things progressed to an adult relationship.

I’m Meg, one of the female members. I’m so sorry you had to deal with such a person to avoid… I guess there really are all kinds of people on Universe. The men answering here are looking more and more like ideal supporters to me. There’s a lot we can learn from our mistakes. Try to put this behind you and start fresh next time.

I’m columnist Flag Maker. He’s truly vile. Gross. That must have been awful. I really feel sorry for you… You should report that incident to the dating club. That said, this is just my personal opinion, but I think men in general fall into these categories: 1. 20% are decent people. 2. 60% are strange, but capable of acting respectable. 3. 20% are strange and downright sleazy. Basically, dating clubs consist of people from categories 2 and 3, with virtually none from category 1. Which means you’re guaranteed to encounter a “weird old guy.” And while you might hope for someone like Ken Shimura from category 2, there’s also a high chance you’ll end up with someone like Matazō Mimata from category 3. To some extent, there’s no way around that. But as discouraging as it may be, this isn’t limited to dating clubs—it’s the same in ordinary society too. In any case, protecting yourself is what matters most. First and foremost, you have to protect yourself.

I’m Joe, a columnist. I agree with Gaku. You should properly explain the circumstances to Universe. They may not be able to do anything about the low allowance, but what happened with “raw” sex is practically criminal, so I believe you have a responsibility to report it—not just to have the club deal with him, but to prevent the same thing from happening again. Also, if the man’s messages are excessively persistent, why not consult the club about that as well? If you’re still feeling uneasy about future dates after seeing how the club responds, you may want to consider taking a break or withdrawing altogether. Take a deep breath, then try to move forward with resolve.

I’m Rin, a female member. That must have been terrifying. Even as the oldest member here, my heart hurts just imagining it. Women are physically weaker, so I think it can be frightening enough to freeze up even when trying to refuse. That said, please make protecting yourself your top priority, while referring to the detailed examples and advice Maezawa-san kindly provided. In any case, report it to the club first. Make sure to explain exactly what happened, and block that man on LINE. If he sent anything resembling a threat, take screenshots and report those to the club as well. You’ve been through something very frightening, and I imagine you’re feeling discouraged. It might help to ask the staff what impression they have of the next person you’re considering.

I’m Basil, a male member. Based on your question, it sounds like you unfortunately ran into an exceptionally awful man. He’s an extreme outlier, so please don’t let this put you off accepting future offers. That said, there are a few things you should work on too. I know it may be difficult to bring up, but make the terms clear early on. If they don’t work for you, say goodbye—and at worst, be assertive enough to leave the room. Since you found the courage to sign up, please hang in there just a little longer. Also, be sure to tell the club through their survey or otherwise. When there’s one strange guy around, other men get lumped in with him too, which is a real nuisance.

Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well. > Do you usually confirm the allowance and make sure he’ll use a condom before going to the hotel? Normally, I think you would only confirm the amount beforehand, but you should confirm it again after entering the room. Men will probably strongly dislike this, but you should still receive the allowance first thing after entering the room. If he doesn’t pay you, you can simply leave. If he refuses to use a condom, you should take action immediately, such as: - Sit up right away - Push him away - Say, “I’m leaving,” as soon as you realize he won’t use one - Say, “Don’t touch me,” and start getting dressed If he is stronger than you and you’re unable to resist physically, you should clearly say things like: - “I’ll report this as rape.” - “I’m leaving.” - “I refuse.” If you only say, “Please put one on,” he may misunderstand and convince himself that it’s okay. But I don’t think any man would misunderstand “I’m leaving.” And if you tell him you’ll report him for rape and he still tries to continue, then it really is rape. > This man also contacts me constantly every day. He keeps messaging me even when I don’t reply, and he’s becoming possessive. If you’re using LINE, you can block him so his messages won’t reach you anymore. You can also prevent him from calling you by blocking his number. First, I think you should tell the club that you’re having trouble because this man keeps contacting you. It would also be a good idea to send screenshots showing how frequently he contacts you. > I already have offers from other men arranged, but I’m extremely scared. Explain the situation to the staff and ask whether the man you’re scheduled to meet is safe. If they have received any bad feedback about him, they should tell you, and you’ll be able to make preparations. If there’s no negative feedback, he’s probably fine, but you should still stay alert and judge whether he seems like a decent person during the meal. If you can’t make up your mind, it’s perfectly fine to end the meeting after dinner only (no intimacy). If he accepts that without any fuss, he’s probably a kind man, so you may feel comfortable meeting him again. On the other hand, if he says things like, “Why?” or “That’s strange when your dating type is marked as ○,” then he’s being pushy, and I think you should avoid meeting him again. If you feel like you won’t be able to leave, you can say, “The club told me it was okay to leave, so I’m going to head home now.” Afterward, whether on the train or once you get home, you should send the club an explanation such as: “I had a difficult time because he wouldn’t let me leave easily. From our conversation during the meal, he seemed very pushy, so I couldn’t proceed after dinner.” If you provide a reason like that, the staff will understand that refusing him was unavoidable, and you won’t end up being seen as the one at fault.

I’m Gaku, a male member. It sounds like you’ve been through some frightening experiences. I’m concerned about you. Why not contact Universe first and explain what happened?

I’m a male member, Paper Airplane. It’s true that the club has many good men and lovely women. However, based on your question, it’s possible that these men are targeting women they think receive few offers and acting that way toward them. Popular women usually receive several offers—sometimes close to ten—within their first week or two of joining. I doubt those men would even try such behavior with women like that, and they probably wouldn’t get any attention from them anyway. It may sound harsh, but there’s no denying that the club—and both the men and women in it—has a competitive side. Not everyone is like that, of course, but I think it’s best to maintain a cool, firm attitude so people don’t take advantage of you. I’m sure that if you receive an offer from an ordinary, decent man, both issues will go smoothly without any problems.