What’s the deal with people who join a dating club despite not having the money—or not being willing to spend it?

I’m Meg, a female member. > “The going rates on apps seem lower, so I feel like it would cost less.” I only learned this after I started using Twitter: the going rates on apps are considerably lower than at clubs. So I understand why people suggest using an app instead, but perhaps it’s because the chances of meeting a person to avoid are high—or rather, far too high. There are probably many highly accomplished people registered here. Someone in a prominent position can’t exactly have several first meetings in random cafés every day, can they? In that case, even if the registration fee is high, it seems more worthwhile to pay for peace of mind and safety. This sounds similar to Date◎Yume’s opinion, sorry. In conclusion: You’re young, so if you’re not comfortable with those terms, you can simply decline.

I’m Saito, the column writer ♪ The point is that not all 7,000 female members think the way you do. This may surprise you, but there are actually quite a few women who are fine with meeting for free. (They tend to be either highly educated or former beauty pageant contestants.) Whether that’s good or bad is beside the point—there are all kinds of women, just as there are all kinds of men. Try putting yourself in that man’s shoes. If he really likes her, he could put up with it a little, meet once every two months, save up the allowance, and pay ¥50,000. He’d still have ¥10,000 left over, wouldn’t he? It’s not really a matter of finances.

I’m Date◎Yume, a male member. > What on earth are people doing by joining a dating club when they either don’t have money or aren’t willing to spend it? Why do they join? Why? I feel like that comment is directed at me… > Looking through the question box, it seems quite a few people try to keep the allowance low. Why do people like that join a dating club? It may not have anything to do with the amount of the allowance. Personally, I think they join because they place importance on the reliability, peace of mind, and safety of the women registered with the club. After joining, rather than finding that there are lots of beautiful women, I think it’s more accurate to say that there are some beautiful women among them. > At a dating club, you have to pay a membership fee and a date-setting fee, so it costs quite a bit before you even meet someone, right? Yet they say they don’t have money and ask for a low-cost arrangement. It’s strange. Maybe it’s not that they don’t have money, but that they set an overall budget for dating and seek the ideal match within that budget. They probably decide roughly how much they want to spend on dating, then try to meet as many people as possible within that limit. In my case, my overall dating budget is small, and I’m fine with just one person, so I don’t contact many women. I think that as someone’s overall available funds increase, so does the amount they can spend on dating. So, in the end, it may be better to receive offers from men with more money available. Also, if he offered you “3,” then I assume that male member rated you as a 3. If you’re not satisfied, you can simply turn him down. Or you can work on earning a higher evaluation. Quite a few male members of dating clubs have substantial funds available for dating. The more money they have available, the more lenient they may be in evaluating women（笑）. Good luck.

I’m Basil, a male member. It’s never as low as 30,000 yen, but looking back on how I feel when I offer a low amount: A. She’s not as appealing to me as the girl I’m currently seeing, so offering the same amount feels excessive or unfair. B. A stingy attempt to at least recoup the setting fee, meal expenses, or a nonrefundable hotel fee. C. There’s no particular reason, but as Maezawa says, since it’s a negotiation, I start low out of habit. D. I was busy during the day and forgot to withdraw cash, and since I’m staying at the hotel, I don’t want the hassle of leaving the room to get money. (This doesn’t apply to the current case, though.) In every case, it’s basically when she isn’t my type. I think your own appeal may also be a factor in why you can’t get the amount you’re asking for.

I’m Flagmaker, a column writer. I’m a timid person who can’t help being overly considerate and trying to look cool, so I signed up because I thought a dating club might suit me. That said, if I’m being honest, part of me envies men like this who can shamelessly ask for what they want and push for their own desires. It’s strange, but I find myself admiring people with no scruples. He probably has a past success story where that approach worked for him. We tend to repeat the process behind experiences that worked. If you don’t like it, I think it’s perfectly fine to tell him clearly that you’re not comfortable with it.

Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here—I’ll answer this as well. > And yet, they say they don’t have much money and ask you to date them for less. It’s strange. If I had to look for a reason, I’d say that men have grown accustomed to living in a society where everything is negotiated. They negotiate most things. Since that’s how they’ve lived, they negotiate no matter the situation. I imagine they do the same at a dating club. And some women end up going along with it. I think that’s probably what’s happening. > Why do people like that register with a dating club in the first place? I think they sign up without realizing that dating clubs are places for financially comfortable adults to have a good time, and operate as though they were just another dating app. Universe does bear some responsibility here for not being able to tell men, “You can’t do this for such a low amount,” or, “It’s only natural for this woman to cost around this much.” That said, there isn’t anything we can do about it immediately, so I’m afraid the only option is to simply not deal with people like that. There are financially comfortable men at Universe as well. Please look forward to receiving an offer from one of them.

I’m Paper Airplane, a male member. Compared with people in mainstream society, the sex industry, and the men’s esthetics scene, club members are probably somewhat above average—around the top 60–70% or so. (For men, perhaps the top 60–70% among wealthy people?) If you’re barely making the cutoff around the lower 60–70% range, then I suppose that applies to both men and women. Honestly, I can’t understand why someone would join a club without listening to what women want or making any effort to meet their expectations—regardless of whether the allowance is high or low, or whether the man is wealthy.