Lately, I’ve been getting a lot of offers from men who describe themselves as “kind.”
This content is machine-translated.
But the thing is, those men are usually not kind at all. They’re self-centered, and I don’t feel even the bare minimum of consideration from them.
There are two types of kind people, aren’t there?
The kind of person I’m looking for is someone who knows how to be considerate of their partner.
But I feel that many of the men who call themselves kind are insensitive and self-centered.
I wrote in my comments that I’m attracted to kind people. Could that be the problem?
At this point, I don’t even need them to be kind—I just want to meet people who have basic manners and consideration.
I’m Meg, a female member who considers herself kind.
I didn’t know people actually described themselves that way~
It probably looks a little different from someone else’s perspective, right?
I’ll be more mindful of that too.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Rin, a female member.
That sounds like quite an ordeal.
Personally, I don’t think there’s anyone more small-minded than a man who says, “I’m a nice guy!” about himself. Kindness is something the people around you feel for themselves, so a man’s own assessment of it isn’t very reliable.
Those unattractive men probably wanted to latch on and make themselves appealing because they found you attractive.
Personally, I think writing “kind” as one of your preferred traits makes you especially easy for the wrong people to take advantage of.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Saito, a column writer♪
Whether someone is kind or hardworking is for others to judge—not something you decide about yourself.
If you receive an offer, why not ask the staff what kind of man he is? That should clear things up.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Flagmaker, a column writer.
I’m often the opposite, actually. I’ll immediately spread gossip about people, and even with customers, the moment I hang up I’ll say, “What a fucking old geezer! Drop dead!” I’ll casually lie to people I don’t care about, lie to my family too… and so on.
I personally think I’m a “mean, awful person,” but people often describe me as “nice,” “kind,” or “serious.”
The other day, one of my customer’s grandmothers told me, “I know what you mean. You’re such a proper, well-mannered person.”
I almost said, “You must be blind,” haha.
Honestly, self-proclaimed “nice people” are rarely any good.
Still, there’s always a certain number of strange people around, and we have no choice but to get along with them in society.
> Papuwa-san
> In situations like that, it’s funny in your head, isn’t it? lol
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well.
> I wrote in the comments that I’m attracted to kind men. Is that the problem?
Somehow, I feel that might be part of the problem.
Men want to get closer to you too, so I imagine some of them are trying to appeal to you by saying, “I’m your type.” If you’ve written that you like kind men, it can come across as:
“I’m kind—so why don’t we move on to an adult relationship (intimate) after dinner?”
> I don’t need them to be kind anymore. I just want to meet people with basic manners and consideration.
If you write that instead, for example, they’ll probably say they have good manners and are considerate. So maybe you should avoid writing about your preferences altogether, or say something like, “I’m looking for someone who won’t make me uncomfortable.”
Even so, you must be incredibly popular.
Even if your profile says you like kind men, I don’t think most people would go that far to sell themselves. You must be a woman they really want to ask out if they’re trying that hard.
Still, the idea that they’re not kind at all…
The men themselves probably think they’re being kind, though. It’s a difficult thing, isn’t it?
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Basil, a male member.
“Kind” is extremely subjective. Even if you treat people the same way, some may call you kind, while others may say the opposite.
As you’ve noticed, why not be specific about what you’re looking for? That said, “thoughtful” isn’t all that different from “kind,” in my opinion.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Seattle, a male member.
I actually found myself checking whether I’d written “kind” in my profile.
Well, my membership expires this summer, so I’m planning to leave anyway.
P.S.
Mac, you’re exactly the kind of person you describe in your own analysis.
“Papuwa, the refined one”—that made me laugh. Though maybe it’s rude to laugh??
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Papercraft, a male member.
“I’m supposedly kind.”
“I’m supposedly smart.”
“I’m supposedly handsome.”
I’ve never seen anyone say these things about themselves.
Those are things other people say about you, aren’t they?
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
