The other day, I asked for advice after sincerely opening up about my dark outlook on life for the first time, only to be told, “That kind of thinking is exactly the type I hate most.”

Thank you all for your helpful opinions. I’m glad I asked for advice, because I couldn’t stop crying from the embarrassment of exposing my darker side and the frustration of not being understood. There were a few points where I didn’t explain myself very well, so I’d like to add some clarification. > Rin, > It depends on how much you told him and how you said it, but > he may have felt that you met him with an “I don’t care what happens anymore” attitude. > “Are you the only one who thinks we’re close, have a good time together, and give each other energy? > Were you really approaching this so carelessly?”—perhaps something like that. Thank you. I think that’s very possible. Since meeting him, I’ve always tried to express my gratitude whenever he did something for me, and I thought I was showing him an almost excessive amount of affection: replying to his LINE messages immediately, always meeting him when he wanted to see me, and showing him through my actions that I cared about him. But every so often, memories of being bullied in the past come flooding back, and I end up feeling utterly hopeless. Also, around the end of last year, when he was struggling because of the emotional abuse he was receiving from his wife and saying things like, “As long as I’m married, I don’t deserve to be loved by you,” I supported him through that dark period. So this time, I thought it might be okay for me to talk about my own darker feelings too. So I ended up telling him something along the lines of: “I failed to achieve the job I’d always dreamed of, and I’m still haunted by memories of bullying and workplace harassment. There’s nothing left for me to do. I have no hope. Before joining the dating club, I once attempted to take my own life, but I couldn’t die in the end. Ever since then, I’ve been living with the feeling that I’m simply spending the rest of my life. I enjoy my work, but life is far too long to end it with work alone.” Reading it over again, it really is unbearably heavy, isn’t it? (laughs) As Rin pointed out, he may have thought, “Then what value do I have as the man you’re seeing? Even though I support you this much!? You always look like you’re having fun when we travel or go on dates!” Actually, shortly before that, we were talking about a friend who couldn’t find a partner because she was too demanding. I said, “I don’t understand why someone would be unable to find a partner just because they’re looking for their ideal person. If you want to date someone, you should think about it from a marketing perspective and adjust your standards if they’re too high.” Then he said, “So you’re dating me as a compromise too?” He also told me, “If you talk like that, people will think you’re cold,” “There’s nothing wrong with having ideals in love or in life,” and “There are all kinds of people in the world, so you’re not necessarily right.” I understand what he was trying to say, but my entire life has been one of repeatedly being betrayed despite holding on to my ideals. I can’t honestly think, “I was wrong! From now on, I’ll pursue my ideals and try my best again!” (To be completely honest, the only thing I can believe in right now is the steadily increasing balance in my bank account—not the sugary words of a married man. But I can’t say that, and I don’t think I should.) I understand that expecting empathy in this kind of relationship is wrong. But when he was struggling, I empathized with him, comforted him by telling him how difficult it must have been, and was thanked for it. So I thought it was give-and-take and ended up doing the same thing to him. Come to think of it, if you tell an entrepreneur who has started a business and is pursuing his dreams, “I have no hope or dreams in life,” it’s only natural that he would get furious. I deeply regret it. From now on, I’ll stop bringing up strange or depressing topics. But what should I say to him so that we can continue seeing each other successfully? Or should I tell him, “The real me is a gloomy former bullying victim, so I’m no longer the woman you idealized. I’m sorry,” and end things? He says he has no intention of breaking up, and our date this weekend is still on as planned. If possible, I’d like us to get along again too. I’m sorry to ask yet again, but could all you experienced people offer me your opinions once more?