I’m a Type B woman in my 30s. I now have three supporters who continue to see me for dinner only, but one of them has started talking about his views on marriage and children. When giving me my allowance, he also says things like, “I’ll keep giving it to you properly until you tell me you no longer need it.”
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What I want is to maintain a relationship where we can keep having meals together with an allowance indefinitely. But while he’s so emotionally invested, would it actually be smarter to give him hope and keep getting money from him…?!
At the moment, I don’t ask him for anything beyond the allowance. We go out for dinner once a week, and occasionally exchange casual messages on LINE.
I’d like to keep things going loosely for a long time, but sometimes I wonder whether, if he’s going to cut me off eventually, it would be better to take as much as I can now.
Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well.
> My hope is to maintain a relationship where we can have meals together and I continue receiving an allowance indefinitely.
If that’s what you want, then you’re clearly Relationship Type A, right?
So if you’re listed as Relationship Type B, does that mean you’re being deceived about your relationship type…?
I wonder whether any male members have complained. Then again, it’s possible she’s been skillfully putting them off by saying “next time” over and over.
If things are working out for you, that’s fine, but please change your relationship type at the club to A immediately.
I can’t believe a woman would openly admit to relationship-type fraud herself…
> I want to maintain a relaxed, long-term relationship, but sometimes I feel that if I’m going to be cut off eventually, it might be better to take the money now.
I’m not sure I fully understand what you mean, but you’re having meals together and receiving an allowance each time, correct?
If you’re already receiving an allowance, what do you mean by saying it would be “better to take it now”?
If you mean whether you should move into an adult relationship (intimate), then if you feel this is someone you’d be comfortable having one with, I think you should value what you have now.
You never know what the future holds.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
That man is simply a self-absorbed person who enjoys saying things like that.
So you don’t need to worry about it.
If those exchanges start making you uncomfortable or become too much to handle, you can just end things with him.
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I’m Rin, a female member.
Sorry, but I can’t quite understand what you mean.
Wait, questioner… you’re A, aren’t you?
If you want to continue, then continue.
And if you’ve found someone who’s okay with keeping things casual over dinner with B, then isn’t that fine?
That said, if you make a B offer while raising someone’s expectations, some people may get upset and say, “Aren’t you different from the type you described?”
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I’m a male member, “Paper Airplane,” and I’m not willing to pay for sex.
There are men like me, so the man she’s seeing may not find it strange to simply continue their dinner-only arrangement.
When it’s dinner only, men can give plenty of lip service.
If he’s married or has a girlfriend he cares about, it’s easier to make excuses. And if things have been dragging on, he may be afraid that taking things further only to find they’re not compatible would bring everything to an end—and make him lose interest in meeting her.
He can seek satisfying sex with other women while continuing to enjoy the chemistry and comfort of this relationship.
If she says it isn’t necessary, he may be so happy that he’ll want to go even further.
Wait… is something wrong with this?
Some men are willing to pay for a woman’s presence, whether sex is involved or not.
P.S. According to my longtime girlfriend: “You’re only kind before sex… Once it’s over, you don’t even listen to me anymore—you’re not really having a conversation.”
While he’s being made to wait, a man can play the role of a kind, adorable guy as much as he likes. So both men and women should beware of the act people put on with the opposite sex.
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I’m a male member from Seattle.
It’s hard to say without knowing how much you’re being paid, but if it’s dinner only, you should ask for a reasonable allowance. That will make it more sustainable. Please change it to Type A.
Zero is a no-go. It could lead to crossing the line and making things complicated. If you’re going to cross the line in a different sense, at least get the going rate.
Ultimately, it’s up to you. If you’re going to keep things dinner only, isn’t having enjoyable conversation enough?
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